I’m 31, been on OLD for a few years. Just been on a couple dates with a very nice guy, but he’s 8 years older than me, and making triple my salary easily. I was quite intimidated, worrying he’d find my interests too young, my style too colourful, my apartment too cheap, etc. OLD being pretty useless, I was so keen to keep hold of him I was already mentally planning how to tone myself down, to match his interests, to shape myself into the best possible image for him. I’ve spent so, so long thinking that’s how to be an ideal gf.

Then I suddenly looked at it differently. He’s the one turning 40, I’m the one with all the time on my hands. 30 isn’t some desperate on-the-shelf panic time, it’s the most powerful I’ve ever been.

Finding this sub today solidified my new attitude. I have spent decades becoming who I am. If he cannot love all of it, I will not lessen myself to fit his needs, or his lifestyle. It’s so hard not to chase, to actually sit back and let someone else lead if they want me enough to show it.