Ibu-f*ckin-profen - the difference in male and female medical care

JadeBaby2211 · 2022-01-13T19:02:00+00:00

I read a study showing that 30% more women died from heart attacks than men, despite showing much better markers of physical health. Why such a disparity? Women were consistently denied specialist care and were told by emergency room staff that they were merely suffering from anxiety when they reported chest pain.

Seeing your bf given so many pain meds, really shows how easy it is for men to become addicted to opiods and then get caught up in that mess.

misandryismadeup · 2022-01-13T19:14:18+00:00

Then they have the nerve to play victim saying that more men die from opioids when it’s rooted in sexism against women.

jackrusselterror1 · 2022-01-13T19:51:44+00:00

I went through recovering from a breast reduction by gritting my teeth/sobbing on my bed for five days. The insurance wouldn’t cover the pain meds that were recommended after surgery because there was a cheaper pain pill that they would cover, my surgeon wouldn’t give permission for the cheaper prescription because it increased internal bleeding and bruising/wasn’t recommended post-op so it wasn’t an actual viable alternative in my case, and my entire torso was covered in deep black and blue bruises as a result of my surgery so it’s pretty safe to say I had enough internal bleeding going on.

I had juvenile breast hypertrophy, I went from normal teen body with average breasts for my size to gigantic boobs, my nipples were at the same height as my belly button if that gives you any idea of the size, and obviously I was covered in stretch marks from the rapid growth. My frame was way too small for my boobs, 5’2 115 lbs, I was in constant pain from the weight on my back and my neck tensing, which led to jaw grinding and TMJ issues, which worsened my chronic tension headaches, which heightened the severity of my insomnia, which also didn’t do wonders for my mental health. I waited for the surgery for three years with constant measurements taken to see if my breast growth would stabilize, finally the surgeon decided a slower rate of growth was close enough and if they kept growing after they’d just have to have me come in for a second surgery which would be covered by my insurance if it was deemed medically necessary.

All I needed were 5 of those pills to get through the worst part of recovery. When I called on the third day, sobbing to ask what medications I could take then because I couldn’t keep waiting for the surgeon and insurance to battle it out, I was told that there was nothing they could do, try not to take too much OTC pain relievers, while apologizing profusely (wasn’t their fault). I ended up not taking anything because Ibuprofen et all have never done anything for me even with mild pain.

whiskey_and_oreos · 2022-01-13T17:38:29+00:00

This makes my blood boil.

A few years ago I had to take my then-boyfriend to the ER for abdominal pain. I hadn't even finished filling out paperwork before they rushed him back and gave him morphine. An hour later they diagnosed him with (relatively small) kidney stones and he was on morphine the entire time before they sent him home with more pain pills.

Like you, I have endometriosis. It took ten years to get a diagnosis and I was dismissed as being "delicate" and "dramatic" when the pain made me throw up and unable to eat. I had laparoscopic surgery and they told me to take ibuprofen. I had my wisdom teeth removed and they gave me ibuprofen while the same surgeon gave my brother Vicodin six months prior.

I've been told to lie when I go to the ER and add two or three points to my pain if I'm asked "on a scale of one to ten..."

The entire medical system is dangerous for women and even more so for our BIPOC sisters.

meninadalua · 2022-01-13T20:54:38+00:00

Female patients getting surgeries for heart conditions have better outcomes when they are treated by female physicians. I wonder why…

melympia · 2022-01-13T19:05:30+00:00

I had one of those encounters, too - though, luckily, it wasn't me in pain.

My daughter had some minor surgery and had to share her room with two other women. One of them was suffering from an inflamed ovary, and she was in serious pain. She called a nurse, and a male nurse (or nursing student?) appeared to tell her she'd have to wait until after the ward round. Her pain got worse, she called again and was given a pill, which didn't work. This whole debacle took place over an hour, maybe an hour and a half.

I eventually went to the nurses (instead of having them called) and told them that what they gave didn't work. However, I also knew that my daughter's roommate had been given something else (hydromorphone i.v., I think), but the nurse in question told me she couldn't give her anything but the prescriped buscopan that she had alraedy been given. (Hint: buscopan is a relaxant for smooth muscles - those you cannot control consciously. While that can help with cramps, it doesn't do anything about the pain from any kind of inflammation.)

I flipped out. Not in the angry screaming way, but in the way where you're reading someone the riot act in your inside voice and make them afraid of you. Told her exactly where to look for proper documentation proving that the lady in question had been prescribed something else (which incidentally showed the nurse I had inside knowledge, as I knew proper procedures), told her exactly why buscopan was the wrong thing to give (more inside knowledge) and cited their hospital's own philosophy of "nobody needs to suffer pain" and pretty much told her to get moving. (All of that pretty much told them I knew what they were doing wrong, and might have the knowledge of how to escalate properly.) It took about 5 minutes until the poor woman was helped, and maybe 10 more (probably less) before the pain became bearable.

My daughter went home the same day, so I didn't get a follow-up... until, a couple of months later, I met her hospital roommate in a nearby store. Anyway, she was helped and got better soon. But she was still confused that the nurses told her that they had a run-in with one of her relatives who she was told was a scary woman. Only... she didn't have any female relatives visiting her. However, the whole medical staff seemed to be tiptoeing around her after that episode. :p

Fun fact: I didn't know how to escalate properly (but would have been willing to find out), had absolutely no authority there nor any worthwhile contacts. I was a nursing student at the time and full of righteous anger, which, surprisingly, got results.

ferociouslycurious · 2022-01-13T22:18:30+00:00

I’ve mentioned before I’ve got a friend who lost his wife because the doctors kept blowing off her migraines as stress and “women problems”. By the time a female physician ordered an MRI, the tumor was extremely advanced. The surgery left her nonfunctional enough she was never able to go home before she died. My friend is now in politics fighting for women’s rights.

Averyhvw · 2022-01-13T17:51:01+00:00

I hear a lot about doctors prescribing too many pain killers, and ones that are too strong. But as a woman, doctors have always treated me as if I have a latent pill addiction, and that they must keep me away from the hard stuff.

This absolutely broke my heart when I was caretaking an elderly relative. They were in excruciating back pain, something they probably ignored their whole life, but mental and physical decline made more pronounced. Of course, the caretaker’s request was seen as me just trying to get pain pills. All the doctor would prescribe was an antidepressant and ibuprofen 😟

mothboon · 2022-01-13T20:20:27+00:00

Yeah, I've been sitting here for over 2 years with a long list of issues that make it impossible for me to have a normal life since I was given the wrong antibiotic.

Not one doctor I have talked to has given a hot shit that my life is on stand by and I'm frequently in distress from panic attacks, crippling anxiety, nausea, urethra pain, proctalgia fugax ( SEVERE pain in the rectum), severe abdominal cramping and insane hormonal fluctuations. I just have to live with it I guess? 🤷

All the while, I'm expected to have a job, cook, clean, workout, dress nice, think PoSiTiVe etc... when all I want to do is check out and become an energy orb far away from my torture chamber of a body.

I can't help but feel if I were a guy they would have got to the bottom of the issue within the first few days after the antibiotics made me so violently ill. 🤔

Leeola_Mcgillicuddy · 2022-01-13T20:32:16+00:00

Endo and PCos sufferer here. Also painful fibroids And they will not give me anything but Naprosyn. They gaslight me constantly telling me that these conditions are not painful.

windowseat4life · 2022-01-13T22:58:58+00:00

I've had to fight for proper medical care SO MANY FUCKING TIMES in my life. It's complete bullshit & one of the reasons I've finally moved out of the US.

I had debilitating period pains since middle school. At one point I called my regular family doctor 3 days in a row crying & begging for help. Her nurse finally told me "the Dr thinks you might have endometriosis but we don't prescribe pain medication for period cramps." I was thrown by that statement. You just told me you think I have a painful medical condition & in the same breathe say you don't give pain medication for period cramps? You just said this ISN'T period cramps!

I also had doctors only want to put me on birth control to deal with the period pains. I even went to an endometriosis specialist & all he wanted to do was put me on birth control pills even when I argued that the pills never worked for helping it before. He still pushed me to try the pills. So I did & it made the period come back more often / spotting on some days which gave me the pain. So it made my condition worse. I just never went back to that doctor.

I learned that I needed to start hoarding medications whenever I had some extra from a surgery or something so that when I really needed it & was denied by a doctor that I'd still have access to the medication I needed. Same with vaginal yeast medication, anytime I had extra I would save them because for some unknown reason doctors are stingy when prescribing it. I also hoarded medication so that I'd have some during times when I didn't have insurance or was under-insured. I would also get paid medication from friends during time my period pains were so bad & I didn't have any leftover pain meds to use.

The medication hoarding got to the point that my family call me a pharmacist because I have so much saved up.

At this point, I don't need the pain medication anymore because I had a hysterectomy a few years ago, but it's still hard to not hoard medication because it's so ingrained in me that I can't rely on doctors or having affordable insurance to help me get medications when needed.

It turns out I had adenomyosis & that's why I was getting such debilitating pain with my periods. So I had a legitimate medical condition that doctors disregarded for almost 20 years.

Mcccy · 2022-01-13T18:39:08+00:00

The 5 pain killers part ended me. ☠️

rainbowshummingbird · 2022-01-13T21:46:35+00:00

I feel like most times I object to something in a logical and reasonable tone, no one listens to me. I’m forced into getting really nasty and acting like a lunatic in order to get results or to be taken seriously. It’s infuriating. Whereas, a man can just merely state something and they are immediately taken seriously by others.

MorthaP · 2022-01-13T20:42:37+00:00

This is slightly besides the point but does Ibuprofen even work for y'all? I swear it does nothing against pain for me. I very rarely use pain meds anyway, but whenever I try to get any people wanna give me only Ibuprofen and it's a whole spiel of me having to convice em it doesnt work for me.

Kernowek1066 · 2022-01-13T21:42:27+00:00

You have my sympathy x I hope you’re doing better now and I hope your bf heals up soon

It took them 8 years to diagnose me with one of the most common chronic illnesses, and their suggested remedy for my pain? “Read stories and listen to nice music”. Even my dad balked at that

katiekat0214 · 2022-01-13T19:42:00+00:00

I've gotten loud and aggressive with doctors who didn't take me seriously, and I've always gotten the treatment I needed. Once again, sorry to sound like a broken record, but showing power, dominance, control, especially to those in control, usually works. If they see you're going to put up a fight and be disagreeable and difficult, they can, will, and do cave. But DAMN that it has to come to that! Why why WHY can't you just, ya know, take us at our word that we actually know our bodies extremely well, and do what needs to be done? There's an unsettling undercurrent of sadism there.

BBQCoolRanchQueen · 2022-01-13T19:55:44+00:00

Right there with you. I don't have Endo (though bleeding through 2 super plus tampons and an overnight pad every hour on days one and two have me suspecting something is wrong, and not being able to function through the pain also). Been told I was "hormonal" and called a drug seeker, despite having a true opioid allergy. Seriously. Tylenol 3 alone had me projectile vomiting swelling up, and covered in hives. Got shamed shortly after the birth of my youngest and last child for asking for pain meds stronger than the 200 mg of ibuprofen than they usually give to postpartum women. No one tells you about afterpains and how absolutely brutal they can be and they get worse with each child. They told me they had Tylenol 3 and hydromorphone, but they only give that to "C section moms". As I mentioned before, I'm allergic and it's right there on my charts. A couple Naproxone would have sufficed.

On a more depressing note, there was a woman in my complex who passed away a bit over a years ago to stage IV colorectal cancer, which is known as the "old man's cancer" (she was in her 40's) due to being dismissed and called an attention seeker, munchausen syndrome, "possible borderline", drug seeker, and the likes. The tumor was so large, she looked halfway pregnant. The doctor who found her tumor insisted she was pregnant and delusional about being pregnant. Pee and blood tests came back negative. Scan showed a huge abdominal mass. It metastasized shortly after her first surgery and she passed away. Another sister lost to medical misogyny.

Davina33 · 2022-01-13T19:53:46+00:00

I'm sorry for you and your boyfriend OP. This is typically common treatment for women by medical professionals. Can you believe some medical professionals believe that black people don't feel pain? I'm mixed race and I didn't get given any pain relief to take hike after I had surgery for a lump on my abdomen. I have arthritis as well, I can't take ibuprofen because I have gastritis and I'm on steroids. I asked for painkillers and get treated like a druggy. It took months for me to be given Naproxen with had to be changed to Celexocib as it's more gentle on the stomach. I would rather be in pain then argue with doctors about it.

Women are treated as anxious hysterics. We aren't believed. Men are believed and get better treatment. It has to change.

staywiththecrown · 2022-01-14T00:33:35+00:00

I was in a car accident, I went to Urgent Care, and I was given a pat on the back. I had to beg for medicine, for additional tests, and for any medical attention. The doctor said, "I'm not a waiter. I can't just order X rays for you."

munissa · 2022-01-13T23:01:19+00:00

Sooo I’ll be honest, I didn’t read the whole post but skimmed it. First I’m so sorry OP has endo because I know plenty of women who had it/has it and it sucks but I am glad it’s being diagnosed now as opposed to being gaslit about period pains and the assumption that women who suffer from these said pains are eXaGGeraTinG. It’s really sad how the medical care for men vs women can be so different. We’re treated like we’re the ones exaggerating our pains and treated as if we are weak or being dramatic whereas we all know/dealt with men who act as if it’s the end of the world when they have a cold.

deuxabuse · 2022-01-14T11:05:17+00:00

I literally just had a hysterectomy for my endometriosis and adenomyosis, and guess what I was prescribed? Nothing. Was told to take up to 800mg of ibuprofen every 4-6 hours. Problem is ibuprofen destroys my stomach if I take it too often. Can't eat solid food for a few more days because having gas or a bm is very painful rn. Doctor just told me to tough it out for a week, no activity or lifting for 6 weeks and then it'll be smooth sailing with no more painful periods. Which is great. Except one of my male friends had a vasectomy and was given a week's worth of hydrocodone 5mg. For a snip in his balls. 😤

all_or_nothing_bet · 2022-01-13T20:00:40+00:00

I totally believe you because it is a proven fact that doctorsdo not take women's complains and suffering as men's, but I sincerely think it also depends on the location, institution and the doctor because I see the opposite where I live - overprescription!

I've always been prescribed insane (in my opinion) and totally unnecessary amounts of pain medication for different reasons. My oral surgeon prescribed me a tons of narcotics after a minor procedure. My PA prescribed me some crazy drug for RLS that could be misused as a recreational drug. I had surgery and left the hospital with a bag full of opioids, even though I told them I'm pain-free and don't need pain management.

Most of the time, I don't even bother picking up those drugs from the pharmacy. If I did, I could run a successful drug dealing business, lol.

ceramicunicorn · 2022-01-13T20:28:59+00:00

I can appreciate the content of this post, but I really think more women need to head over to fourthwavewomen, where more general feminist topics that aren’t related to dating are explored. It’s small and could use the love. It feels like users are trying to make FDS (more well known) an all encompassing radfem sub, and it pulls focus from it being dating-centric.

BedazzledSwashbuckle · 2022-01-14T18:45:58+00:00

Obviously know the legality of it in your area, but ...

There are quite a few international pharmacy sites online, nowadays. If you know the meds you need and the dose you should take and are just running into this medical professional wall of ego, by all means, do the overseas "appointment" for your $5 diagnosis and purchase your medication that way.

Title	Ibu-f*ckin-profen - the difference in male and female medical care
Author	capresesalad1985
Upvotes	956
Comments	85
Date	January 13, 2022 5:26 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/s34n9i/ibufckinprofen_the_difference_in_male_and_female/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/ibu-fckin-profen-the-difference-in-male-and-female.1096397 https://theredarchive.com/post/1096397