If he says Not All Men, he is exactly That Kind of Man.

Apricot_Ibex · 2021-03-15T21:04:38+00:00

I know it's not identical, but the "Good Guys" expect an insane amount of praise for extending basic human courtesy to women, which reminds me quite a bit of the "white savior" thing. Being halfway decent to a person of a different sex or race/ethnicity is just a baseline expectation for all human beings and doesn't deserve accolades.

People screaming "not all [whatever]" usually still have a big chip on their shoulders, even if they don't parade it around like the more overt sexists/racists. Otherwise, why take it so personally? Why not speak out against the offending societal behavior in question instead of just saying "it's not me, not my problem"? We already know it's "not you." Same guys who say "I'm an iNdiVidUaL, not a shEePLe" will negatively stereotype ALL woman alllllll day long.

FastCardiologist6128 · 2021-03-15T19:56:18+00:00

What they mean is: "All men are animalistic visual creatures who only see women as sex objects and are manipulative nimphomaniacs and it's expected that any guy that is nice to you and talks to you only wants sex from you, if you expect a dude to have actual empathy and feelings of care and concern for others, your standards are too high you'll end up alone. But not all men are killers and rapists, those are bad illegal things to do and we aren't all criminals, we are only twisted, entitled, arrogant, man children that will probably try to degrade you in bed and belittle you in public, but we wouldn't kill or rape anybody in a dark alley, that's wrong"

Smh

brylm92 · 2021-03-15T19:30:31+00:00

Let's be real, the truth in both these situations is that it is the majority of men. The majority of men watch porn and the majority of men are predators. Yep, I said it. One can't be without the other.

They know this but manipulative the narrative in their favour. One frames the minority they want to be perceived to be apart of, one frames the majority to detract attention from how slimy and unacceptable their individual behaviour is. Anything to avoid any blame, introspection or growth.

Partypuppers · 2021-03-15T22:31:18+00:00

To be honest yes it is all men.

Let me explain. Not every man may be a sexual predator, a rapist or murderer. We know HVM exist in the world, however rare. However, all men (even the good ones) benefit from the atmosphere of fear and oppression created by the violent and perverse men. That's called the patriarchy. And all women are affected by this.

All men benefit from the patriarchy, because they automatically become the dominant class when, due to their violence, their female counterparts are subjugated and oppressed under (what I'm sure for most women feels like) an omnipresent threat of rape, murder, harassment, trauma or otherwise any other gender-based indignity.

Furthermore, how many women feel compelled to stay in relationships that may not the most optimal for them and their needs because the bar is so low and their partner doesn't hit them, cheat on them or sexually abuse them? This is the bare minimum and the good guys benefit from appearing as one of the 'good guys™' because for women, the alternatives are awful. I repeat: even the good men benefit from the violence of their male counterparts because they get to come in and position themselves as 'the better option', even if what they are offering is the bare minimum of being a decent person and partner.

Additional commentary: I hope this will slowly change as more women become educated and start earning their own money and start raising their standards. I really believe we're doing important cultural work at FDS by raising our standards and decentering men from our lives.

Left field thought: It will also be interesting, scanning way ahead into the future, as to whether exoskeleton technology will become more wearable and mainstream. The tech is clunky at the moment but can you image a world where women can wear a suit that makes them just as strong as men? I think it could be revolutionary in mitigating the risks of being overpowered and sexually assaulted. If it happens you read it here first ladies!

fds_account58 · 2021-03-15T18:21:55+00:00

Legally it is important that people are innocent until proven guilty (although in some cases the US legal system at least protects violent criminals more than innocent victims). In my mind and when it comes to how I treat men, they are guilty until proven innocent.

papadanku42 · 2021-03-15T21:30:45+00:00

They know their privelege, but they will waste your time tone policing and being offended. Meanwhile, their friends are spouting about how "women do _" and "women are _" but would NEVER correct them to say not ALL women. Why, you may ask ? Because it doesn't benefit them.

Men want us to adapt our language so the "good ones" don't feel attacked. Like sir if you feel attacked by statements like "men benefit from the patriarchy" I don't even know where to start w you, dismiss yoself.

relationship_reddit · 2021-03-15T21:28:08+00:00

It's so stupid when they say not all men. Like... no shit. Nobody thinks that literally all men do anything.

dancedance_83 · 2021-03-15T20:29:17+00:00

What about women who say Not All Men?

FrozenExpanse · 2021-03-16T07:11:09+00:00

Not ALL men, but ALWAYS the men who say, "not all men."

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Title	If he says Not All Men, he is exactly That Kind of Man.
Author	fogplum
Upvotes	596
Comments	33
Date	March 15, 2021 5:10 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/if-he-says-not-all-men-he-is-exactly-that-kind-of.751221 https://theredarchive.com/post/751221
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m5pjra/if_he_says_not_all_men_he_is_exactly_that_kind_of/