This is a throwaway account, not because I am ashamed of FDS, but I don't want LVMs blowing up my main account. I found FDS last year while already in a loving, healthy relationship. While I recognized my partner is loving and amazing, FDS has helped me put into words what these traits are, and why they are important to me. FDS has helped me recognize that in the past I was a pickme, and how some of the males in my life are awful. It has also helped me be more direct with my friends about what they deserve and to not settle for any less. I am unpopular with many of my friends who are in relationships with guys that don't treat them right, as I often ask why they allow certain behaviors. I don't provide or allow excuses for why men act a certain way. Similarly, I am unpopular with many of my (ex) male friends when I have called them out on certain behaviors. Luckily, the circle of friends I have left are full of HVW and HVM.

I was friends with my current partner for a long time (platonic) as I was in a long-term abusive relationship. I went to a lot of therapy after that relationship ended to heal from my traumas. When we decided to start dating, I had just finished therapy and was/still is glowing up. We have now been dating for almost three years and very happy. I wanted to share what I think are his high-value traits and if for some unfortunate reason we end up breaking up, this is the minimum I would accept from future partners. In no particular order:

- I feel strongly about woman's rights and empowerment, and many other social issues. This means I am always expressing how I feel and he always listens and acknowledges my feelings, he validates them. He never once tries to mansplain or diminish our struggle as women, as he recognizes and understands he could never truly understand as he is not a woman

- He never lets me carry heavy things. When we go grocery shopping together, he may let me carry a bag of lettuce if he is worried they may get squashed. Otherwise, he is carrying all our bags and even when I offer, he assures me he is fine and never lets me carry anything. When we go hiking together (multiple nights), he carries the majority of our food

- We do have arguments from time to time but he always tries to understand why I am upset, and freely admits when he is wrong and apologizes and does not do it again. We rarely, if ever, have repeat arguments about the same issue

- Every morning, he gets up and makes me breakfast, without me ever having to have asked. I am an early riser and he prefers to get up a bit later than I do. Even so, he wakes up early every morning so that he can make me breakfast and spend some time with me before we part ways for the day

- He cooks, cleans, does our washing, drops me off to work. I never have to ask him to do any of these things, he does these things because he genuinely wants to. He doesn't create a tally of who has done what for each other and does not expect the same from me (even though I do those things when I can)

- He takes care of his physical and emotional self. He went to therapy before we had started dating to work through his childhood traumas. We often talk about our feelings or things going on in our lives but he does not place emotional burdens onto me and I have never felt like his unpaid therapist. He goes to the gym regularly to keep himself fit and has a healthy diet

- He is my number one supporter. Literally anything I decide to do, he provides me with the utmost love and support

- I think this is very important - he calls out men when they are exhibiting LV behaviors. He has many friends from when he went to college and many are legacy friendships. He has distanced himself from a lot of them who aren't great guys. The ones who are still in his social circle, he has no qualms about calling out behaviors

- I have decided to be child-free, and has never once pressured me to change my mind

- We have a date night every two weeks, even though we see each other all the time. We take turn organizing dates and his dates are always so thoughtful. He remembers and observe things I say and always sets up dates that I might enjoy

- He does not watch p*rn or follow Instagram models/onlyFans/anything of the sort. He is VERY generous in bed and always makes sure I have multiple Os, even if he's too tired to have s*x

- Remembers my preferences for everything. He always makes sure to prepare food the way I like, remembers all the things I can't eat, how I like my coffee, tea, how I make my bed etc

- He has good hobbies - he reads a lot, very active (running, rock climbing, hiking, biking), and always trying to grow personally and professionally

- He has never badmouthed his exes, and treats all women (and people in general) with respect

- Well groomed and always makes an effort when seeing my friends and family. He will go get a haircut, be clean-shaved, dresses nicely when we are seeing them

- I hate driving so he always drives. He only asks me to drive if we are on long trips and he's worried about being tired behind the wheel

- Very generous with his time, money and love. I love flowers and he gets me flowers for birthdays, anniversaries, special events, just cause.

- Financially stable, good career, very good habits with his money.

I am 30, well-educated, have a great career, very self sufficient. Over the three years we have dated, he has exhibited these behaviors consistently and I have not had to ask him to do these things. He knows I can do all these things myself (like chores, carrying things, making breakfast) but he just wants to do them for me because he wants to make my life just that bit easier. I would never settle for anything less and I believe that all woman deserve this. If he wanted to, he would!