~ archived since 2018 ~

If men were written like women:

October 27, 2020
3285 upvotes
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[–]Solaresa811 points812 points  (22 children) | Copy Link

He walked into the room, and my eyes devoured him hungrily. He wore a suit, carefully chosen to highlight all his best features. His hard nipples were clearly visible through the thin fabric of his shirt, begging to be freed. His penis was small, but perky and already semi-erect (though it was hard to tell due to its diminutive size), and judging by the clear outline he hadn't bothered wearing panties tonight. His pants clung to it as it strained against its cloth prison...

I'm so sorry.

[–][deleted] 225 points226 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

You literally just described my boss. He's fat and buys his shirts extra small and his nipples poke out.

[–]ScallionOk958FDS Newbie69 points70 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

LOL!

[–][deleted] 81 points82 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

He’s also short, has a beard that looks like pubes, and he hates women

[–]idhavetochargeFDS Newbie17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Every single place I have ever worked has at least two guys like this.

[–]vmuzondiFDS Disciple157 points158 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Omg I screamed! Don’t be scared, write some moreπŸ˜ŒπŸ˜‚

[–]FabledAngryVillagerFDS Apprentice141 points142 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

No keep going πŸ˜©πŸ‘Œ

[–]Newwavesupport3657FDS Newbie41 points42 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

β€œBegging to be freed”. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

[–]thinktwiceorelseFDS Newbie90 points91 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I ain't dissapointed coming to the comment section.πŸ˜‚

[–]shoesfromparis135FDS Apprentice45 points46 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m ready to read this romance novel.

[–]sekhmetwisdomFDS Newbie20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Chuckles .his pants were sooo tight zi could tell his religion

[–]deepcurrentsFDS Newbie10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This was amazing. Please continue!!

[–]ceilingkatwatchesusFDS Disciple10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Gurl, where's the rest of the story??...ahahahhahaah this was wonderful!!

[–]buttercupsparklesFDS Newbie10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You need to become a published author, I'm cacklingπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

[–]InayahDaneenFDS Newbie7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

OmG πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

[–]JessyJKFDS Newbie6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Noooo! I cried laughing! Do some more. πŸ˜‚

[–]mscristalconnorsFDS Newbie2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks, I hate it.

[–]vermintyFDS Newbie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Start a Patreon so it’s worth your time turning this into a whole damn novel.

[–]ComprehensiveCatch46Throwaway Account1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I almost screamed on work 🀣

[–]yolosunshineFDS Newbie122 points123 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think breasts are compared to dicks because they protrude from the body.

The vagina remains, as always, a β€˜mystery’. Lmao.

[–]localgirlcultFDS Apprentice178 points179 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

He's right. But I noticed breasts always get compared to penises when positive points like these are made, or when incel types think they're making sense about something. Always boobs apparently the equivalent to dicks. Like...NO. As if they can't fathom that fit men's bodies are the equivalent, not their goddamn dicks. The equivalent would be describing his body in annoying minute detail when it's not relevant, not his genitals. Breasts aren't genitals ffs.

[–]BellaMobFDS Apprentice227 points228 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Height could be a good equivalent. They often claim that it's biology to like big breasts, so why not height. Imagine the rage. Doesn't even have to get sexual.

He strolled through the park, a disappointing yet perky 5 feet and 5 inches but attempted to compensate for it with a 5 inch beard. A hat covered his hairline in an tasteful yet understated way. His small fingers with cheetos powder under nails waved to me from afar. He was insignificant but elegant and full of audacity confidence.

[–]sekhmetwisdomFDS Newbie21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Catching my breath.

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Cheeto powder under his nails 🀑πŸ€ͺ🀑πŸ”₯🐡 my monkeys are happy!

[–]ceilingkatwatchesusFDS Disciple9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This comment section is just GOLD!!! AHAHAHAHHA

[–]MaisiebrFDS Apprentice109 points110 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

And small breast don't have anything to do with sexual satisfaction, but cock size has an impact on it.

[–]moxymoxaloneFDS Newbie60 points61 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

A HUGE impact!πŸ†πŸ₯–πŸ¦΄πŸŒ­ (Sorry, couldn’t resist..)

[–]Thestral-glow6FDS Newbie12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

πŸ˜­πŸ˜‚

[–]axl3ros3FDS Newbie27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The equivalent is the bicep πŸ’ͺ. I've been calling this the man boob for years

[–]anotherdamnloserFDS Newbie51 points52 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Love the versions you ladies are writing. I’d so download them on my kindle hehe

[–]textbasedpanda21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

r/menwritingwomen is one of my favorites

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Small dick /= small bra size. Dick size actually, physically, benefit a woman’s pleasure, while boob size is an imaginary status symbol which benefit pornsick men.

Not to mention that big dick have a biological reason (sends the sperm further in) but huge boobs doesn’t have any actual benefit (you can breastfeed with any bra size).

[–]anotherdamnloserFDS Newbie15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Haha yes I’d read that!

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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