If you are dating someone new and they frequently talk about how "broken", "crazy" or "dark/edgy" they are, believe them. You cannot fix them. Get out of there.

5,153 points269 commentssubmitted by astropuddles to r/dating_advice

It doesn't matter their race/ethnicity, gender, age.

If these are the first few dates, you really don't want to mess with these individuals much longer.

I spent my entire life falling for guys that were "tragically ruined" by the world. They were always "I'm a crazy edgy guy in a normal world", weird Joker-type guys. I thought I could change them, show them the world and help them become a better person. I thought "love" was really the only cure they needed. They showed me all the red flags of someone that doesn't want to change for the better and I ignored them.

I was obviously young, dumb and completely WRONG.

Incidentally, these guys needed serious help from a professional.


The point is, you want someone that is going to improve your life, not make it worse. Someone that will encourage you to be your best self, not just rely on you to do that for them. Someone that can offer you love and support, not someone that will drain that from you.

You cannot fix people that are self-described "broken/crazy/edgy/dark" from the jump.

You don't have to leave that date as soon as possible, but find a way to never go out with them again.


So what are some possible telltale signs that you should get out of dodge?

Well, the number one being: "I'm kinda crazy yknow... all my friends call me crazy".

Another is if they snap really easily at the drop of a hat.

Calling themselves edgy or saying the world just doesn't understand them is also not a good sign. "I don't need to change, the world does!"

Check their social media (if possible) and read their statuses or posts. You definitely want to make sure they aren't publicly posting about violence or something troubling. Something like "Almost beat the shit out of that guy last night for not giving me back my change" is a sign of someone a bit unhinged and "The dark demons in my head tell me to xyz😆"

Leave some others in the comments if you can think of any!


Lastly, I want to clarify that I am not saying that people that self-describe as "crazy" are actually crazy. I'm not saying that calling oneself "tragically broken" is a sign of never being able to date again. I'm just saying that these people are typically immature if they describe themselves as such and your quality of relationship will simply not be there. And if they are not afraid to tell you that from the very beginning, just take that as a sign that they are testing the waters/filtering the people they socialize with and that it's something you just don't want to deal with.