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[–]Enlightened_GardenerFDS Newbie 196 points197 points198 points 2 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Putting Ikea furniture together is one of the best tests of a man, and of a relationship IMO. All the little tells - does he read instructions, does he force things together when he can’t get them to fit, does he swear or slam things when he’s impatient or frustrated, does he have a set of basic tools, does he give up too easily.....
The other one I’ve learnt personally is putting up a tent together in the rain. Wish I’d paid attention to that one. He ended up sitting in the car while I did it. But not until after he’d thrown a massive tantrum. I thought he was “artistic” and “sensitive,” but it turned out he was a garden-variety narcissitic pyschopath.
[–]Lost_my_fish 86 points87 points88 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Road rage is a huge tell for me. Can you calmly accept that person wronged you and then move on with your life or will you let it ruin your afternoon?
[–]marimare21FDS Newbie 59 points60 points61 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My HV ex and a good friend of mine assembled ALL the furniture for my place when I moved into my apartment. He looked at the instructions, COUNTED out every little bolt, screw, etc to make sure everything was all there and laid things out in a logical manner before starting. That honestly made me a bit weak in the knees, since we were only in the earlier weeks of dating.
[–]PornruinedsocietyFDS Disciple 35 points36 points37 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Omg mine would start helping me for 5 mins and then either casually sneak off or say he was tired and leave me to do it alone. The experience was good though, when we separated and I bought my own place, I put together a 3 door wardrobe and moved it into position by myself. Oh yes and he was the "sensitive" and "artistic" type pft useless! Claims to be a feminist, but as the meme says all the misogyny of previous generations, minus any practical skills and motivation. First husband would get angry and swear, I think it hurt his ego and fragile masculinity when it wasn't going well.
[–]TumbleweedForeign699FDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lmao my NVX flat out said “I’ve read the instructions they’re really hard I can’t do it” and “we need extra tools to assemble it that I don’t have” (which we didn’t).. if I had vetted this earlier I would have avoided so much pain. My dad came around the next day and had my thing built in about an hour and enjoyed it.
[–]PornruinedsocietyFDS Disciple 12 points13 points14 points 2 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I think with many of them it's just strategic incompetence and as for the ones who are genuinely that inable, god help them. These are the same men who act dumbfounded when women leave them and say things like 'good luck finding another man like me' or 'good luck surviving alone', I already am surviving alone, with dead weight to carry.
[–]Lemon_bars_addictionFDS Disciple 262 points263 points264 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Deceased 😩
[–]scrappymapFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
💀💀💀
[–]99powerFDS Apprentice 242 points243 points244 points 2 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Thanks, my entire neighborhood heard me today 🤣
[–]thegurlearl 19 points20 points21 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I woke my dogs up, they're not amused.
[–]wemadethemachineFDS Newbie 56 points57 points58 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
When you scream at things that are not an emergency, do you ever wonder if it makes people take it less seriously when they hear screams that ARE part of an emergency? People like to say "bystander effect," all I hear is "a lifetime of hearing joke screams that turned out to be nothing."
[–]noseatbeltsongFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think I’d like to scream “FIRE” if there was an actual emergency bc people are more likely to react to that than random screaming
[–]99powerFDS Apprentice 20 points21 points22 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They definitely heard me laughing 😅
[–]thenevacatThrowaway Account 24 points25 points26 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When you are Scandinavian and pronounce it like it should be and are extremely confused what’s so funny, until you see it 😂😂
[–]galian84FDS Apprentice 21 points22 points23 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
LOL I love this 😂
[–]munissaFDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
LOL
[–]ThelimitdoesFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hahaha
[–]shutup201FDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol!
[–]Lost_Kale90FDS Apprentice 63 points64 points65 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Omggg 🤣 I legit would buy this just to have a reminder, and laugh, every time I saw it
[–]90sfemgroups 48 points49 points50 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It really is a trash phrase. After a few times, I realized it was used as a conversation stopper, just one more way for some (most?) men to silence women and women's experiences. Why is it so important to say 'not all men'? Why is that more important than having a civil conversation about some serious problems in this world? Eh? If you're not guilty of the problem, and if you yourself wouldn't want to be harassed or assaulted or violated or stalked... join the conversation! The best way to do so is to give up your "not all men" pacifier and listen the fuck up for once. Start there. And that is why it is a trash phase and this post kills.
[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple 9 points10 points11 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This right here.
Why can’t they just stfu and listen? That phrase is red flag that the trash person saying it lacks empathy.
[–]FunnyGreatFalconFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I can't find this on the ikea website :(
[–]prettyexcitingnewsFDS Disciple 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m dead. This made my day 💀💀💀🤣
[–]ferretcatFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is just toooooo good!! Good job OP on finding this
[–]DeclineNDashFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Whew!! This is gold! I’m definitely putting this in the group chat with my girls 🤣🤣🤣
[–]AutomaticNopeMachineFDS Newbie 275 points276 points277 points 2 years ago* (38 children) | Copy Link
This reminds me of a nice vetting strategy:
This is more for long term dating situations, and only of it’s NOT a pickme thing to do where you live (not a ring hint). Then go to ikea or any other such store and observe:
• Most scrotes will be using it for future faking. (“Our kids will love that car shaped bed haha” when you’re not even talking of engagement).
• Is he implying you’ll cook for him in the display kitchen or hinting any other kind of wife performance?
• Some furniture pieces are scrote faves, like the lazy grandpa couch. He’ll hang around those.
• Is he annoyed by children messing the display?
• Really pushing you for anything 500 days with summer-ish, placing you as manic pixie dream girl instead of acting like an adult around house supplies.
[–]MerleErEnPerleFDS Newbie 25 points26 points27 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hahaha, I love this. moooarrr
[–]whiskey_and_oreosFDS Newbie 157 points158 points159 points 2 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link
This couldn't be more accurate. I'm recently divorced and have made several IKEA trips by myself for my new apartment. Watching for this is like seeing a couple on their first date at a restaurant; so much second hand embarrassment for her.
I'd also add:
[–]TumbleweedForeign699FDS Newbie 25 points26 points27 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Omfg the “Ill prepared”.. are you describing my ex?? What is it about IKEA and LVM that brings out literally identical traits we all seem to resonate with?? 😂
[–]whiskey_and_oreosFDS Newbie 25 points26 points27 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I have to tell myself we all dated men from the same family to explain how common this is, otherwise I'd never date again. 😂
But seriously I think it all goes back to basic LVM traits: an inability to plan or think of the future, indecisiveness because of learned helplessness, and many of them never live alone or if they do they never develop a concrete personality and tastes to decorate their space and express themselves.
This is why IKEA and furniture shopping or buying decor is a great vetting exercise. Let's see that personality.
[–]TumbleweedForeign699FDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
My ex would always never want anything so it would just me looking around going “we should get these [necessities for living]” and him groaning and stonewalling me bc he doesn’t want to spend any money and probably didn’t even want to be there.. he’d always be quiet and I’d feel like he was pissed and it would upset me bc I was just trying to have a nice couple-y day out … lol I feel sorry for past me who had to put up with his total lack of enthusiasm for everything. And his cheap ass.
[–]mashibeansFDS Apprentice 103 points104 points105 points 2 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link
Those are the same LVM who end up with an empty space with only a mattress, a TV, a game console, and maybe a cheap-ass chair, when the women finally have enough and break up, taking with them all the stuff they bought to make the place an actual warm home.
[–]tactical_viperFDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
LMAO THIS WAS MY DIVORCE. girl I can’t 😂😂😂 he kept asking me if he could have this or that and I said no cause I went through all the effort/budgeting to acquire said items. Now my apartment is furnished and that’s all he’s left with
[–]mashibeansFDS Apprentice 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The fucking audacity, they were all your purchases and he wanted to keep them??
[–]tactical_viperFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The only thing he contributed to was the cost. I planned, budgeted accordingly, went through the thought and effort to find the stuff, measured so it would fit and was there to receive the deliveries. So no, you can’t have all the stuff you wouldn’t have bought anyways had a woman not been around. They legit have one chair to sit in, two forks, and their mattress on the floor and suddenly they care about all the stuff you acquired during the relationship.
[–]whiskey_and_oreosFDS Newbie 141 points142 points143 points 2 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
100%. Then they advertise on their dating profile that their place needs "a woman's touch." 😒
I actually went a different route when I left my ex though. I left everything with him except my kitchen stuff and a few random things because every single thing we bought together was boring. All of it was shades of grey or black because "it went together" but really he had no taste or eye for decorating. We actually had an argument at IKEA once because I insisted on colorful throw pillows for the grey living room. Anyway, I moved out and my first purchase was a glorious red velvet couch that makes me ridiculously happy.
[–]bleda_princeznaFDS Newbie 45 points46 points47 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Oh my god, this reminds my of my ex! Everything he picked was grey or brown. We had a heated discussion about bed covers. He refused anything colorful, in a room with dull colors... What a nightmare.
[–]whiskey_and_oreosFDS Newbie 41 points42 points43 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's seriously a metaphor for the whole relationship. Bland colors only found in nature of dead or dying things.
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 12 points13 points14 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Like Big Bang Theory. Penny had tons of solid-colour accessories in her apartment and fresh, vivid clothing. The boys had a shitbrown couch.
[–]TumbleweedForeign699FDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
God me too. I always used to joke that he had a “New York” themed room bc it was so grey and boyish. Not in a charming boyish way .. like really bland.
[–]jackrusselterror1FDS Disciple 20 points21 points22 points 2 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Any chance of a link to where you got a red velvet couch? That sounds amazing and I need a statement piece for my living room.
[–]whiskey_and_oreosFDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Wayfair in burgundy. The photos seriously do not do it justice. I've had it about six months and it looks great.
[–]jackrusselterror1FDS Disciple 19 points20 points21 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It looks gorgeous just by the photos, I can see why you’d be so happy with that purchase. I’ve found things I liked on there but hesitated to make a purchase. I might make the leap though.
[–]whiskey_and_oreosFDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've definitely had some misses from there! It's kind of like Amazon but with big furniture so there's bound to be some duds. But I think this one is pretty solid from the reviews and my experience so far.
[–]StrangeHoney6062 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm obsessed. I love burgundy so much.
[–]mashibeansFDS Apprentice 16 points17 points18 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Heavens forbid he liked SOME color! Ohhh no, that'd make him... gasp! G-g-g-g-gay??
I can't believe how immature men are becoming. They believe liking color or ANY kind of fashion (clothing, house decorations, etc), or caring for your loved ones by cooking, cleaning, etc. means their (toxic) masculinity is in question. Then they demand women to act like their mommy maids, and then demand sexual acts from them.
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 13 points14 points15 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think they know they'll never clean so they want to hide the stains better.
[–]PornruinedsocietyFDS Disciple 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Or a nest
[–]Reporter_ComplexFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh God! Oh God don't remind me!
[–]StrangeHoney6062 8 points9 points10 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The guy has zero opinions and no taste and just tells his girlfriend "whatever you think looks nice"
and then throws a fit until he gets his "man cave" because "she gets the rest of the house waah."
[–]90sfemgroups 8 points9 points10 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Future faking holy shit! This just woke me up a little bit more and is definitely something I went through in two "serious" relationships.
[–]EqvviFDS Apprentice[S] 77 points78 points79 points 2 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
That is awesome! Thanks for sharing.
500 days of summer is such a misunderstood film because it's from the perspective of the scrote and doesn't actually do a good job of showing his personal growth at the end. Maybe there really wasn't supposed to be any, who knows.
[–]Bitter_Froyo_6742FDS Newbie 49 points50 points51 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I kind of felt like the entire point of the ending was that he didn't make any real personal growth (whereas Summer practically looks matronly compared to him in the last scene they're together, becuase of how much she's grown up and matured)
I always felt the movie was more a commentary on the romcom genre and the harmful narratives and behaviors we perpetuate around love more than it actually being about any actual character. Like the point was supposed to be calling out the audience for rooting for and pushing him to be with this person, and accepting his narrative unchallenged. And then it's revealed to us he was full of shit the whole time and bordered on delusional, and the things he did weren't cute. They were unfair and kinda creepy. And yet we're still given that textbook redemption "what happens next???" cliffhanger ending that gives the audience that familiar rush of possibilities. As if to say 'you stupid dumb b*tch, we literally JUST finished telling you that he's not emotionally ready for a relationship, but you're high on oxytocin and adrenaline and beyond rational thinking again aren't you? Because you're just as bad as him - you just want the feeling of being in love regardless of the actual quality of the love story."
Like audiences largely not getting it kinda felt like half the point. It's also not the only time that specific actor has started I. A project about how media leads to people forming unhealthy relationship expectations and behaviors, where the only way to be happy is to knock yourself out of this narrative fallacy and ground yourself in the complicated, messy nuances of real life. (It's not done nearly as well as 500 days of summers though)
[–]PeanutButterPigeon85FDS Newbie 14 points15 points16 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just put this comment above, but definitely check out the video on 500 Days of Summer on YouTube, by The Take! No one I've come across has broken it down better than those ladies did.
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don Jon was gold.
Yeah, the YouTube channel 'The Take' did an excellent video explaining that film, and why the flaws in its execution were part of the reason why it's been so misunderstood.
[–]Junior-Lion7893FDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Totally doing this 😂
[–]poison_snaccFDS Newbie 35 points36 points37 points 2 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
This sounds 100% like a Liz Lemon strategy and I am here for it! She is one of my fictional icons when it comes to dating strategies, despite being a comedic character. If you know, you know.
One idea to add is to observe whether he will trash the furniture. If he leaves crumpled napkins or empty plastic cups or spills his soda in the “exhibit,” he will most certainly do 5x the damage in your own home when you move in together. You’ll be left cleaning it up and footing the entire bill for any damage— the latter bc he won’t be able to “see” the stain on your new sofa and will refuse to endorse replacement.
[–]AutomaticNopeMachineFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good idea!
[–]bijig 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Time to take out the trash.
[–]Equestrian-BitchFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I peed 😭😭😭
[–]Happylittlepinetree 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
🤣🤣
[–]omgshooooes72 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I cackled when I saw this. 💀
[–]throwaway23er56uzFDS Newbie 52 points53 points54 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Many years ago, I was a IKEA with a guy I knew. I didn't realized he was romantically interested in me (actually, it wasn't personal, he just wanted a women who'd pop out a few kids for him). But if I had been interested in him, that visit would have killed any interest.
Before the visit, he was totally biased against IKEA because they had "bad quality" stuff (he had never been to an IKEA store before). Then, in the store, he had to admit some items were actually quite nice. After trying in vain to impress me with his superior taste in furniture, he then told me he had bought some new kitchen knives. Turned out they were the type where you get a multipack with different-colored handles at a discounter or dollar store and throw them away after a few months because they broke. Because he wasn't going to spend money on knives.
[–]ShieldMaidenLagerthaFDS Disciple 11 points12 points13 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Amazing 🤣
[–]the-only-green-zebra 14 points15 points16 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
fun fact: that means "emergency" in German, idrk what that says about scrotes, interpret it however you want
[–]TheboredshrimpFDS Apprentice -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
repost
[–]EqvviFDS Apprentice[S] 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Haven't seen it here before. Sorry you had to see it twice
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