I was telling some people about how I used to dread Christmas because my ex and I had a "tradition" where I had to get up early so that I could turn on Christmas lights in the bedroom and wake him up with a blowjob. I say "had to" because if I didn't do this "tradition" he would pout and act like a jerk all day. The reason I dreaded it is because it was rancid. He wouldnt go clean up first (because it would ruin the tradition of "surprising him" 🙄). It was basically forced on me in the name of tradition, but I was young and naive and didn't even realize I was being manipulated. Then throughout the day he'd pester me for more of them and "challenge" me to break the record for the previous year. He knew I hated it. But he used Christmas and "tradition" as a way to manipulate me (he'd act all excited on the days leading up to it and remind me constantly how excited he was). Seriously ruined the holiday for me, for years.

Anyway, as I was telling this story I was expecting the women I was with to be horrified. I was shocked and really sad by their nonchalant reaction because it turned out I wasn't alone, like at all. Apparentlyy this is a thing? All three of them had similar experiences. One said she always gets at least one sex toy "gift" from her husband (which are never the kinds she wants, and totally more for his pleasure than hers) and no matter how busy or tired she is (she's a mom) she always has to use his "gift" otherwise he acts like a jerk. Another woman said that her husband always expects to be "rewarded" for visiting her family and being "good" 🙄 so he demands blowjobs too. we all swapped stories about how Christmas with LVM is this big crappy sex day that is totally forced. Nothing spontaneous or emotionally stimulating at all.

I'm soooo happy to be past that and free from that (this Christmas season with my bf has been lovely). But I'm just so sad that it's a thing.

Almost forgot to say: the women with kids said their husbands don't even help with any of the Christmas work. Which I can't even wrap my head around. I feel like it would be so fun to play Santa together. Like I feel like that would be one of the joys of having kids? I don't understand how they could just sit back and not participate, which ruins it for mom and makes it a chore instead of a fun thing. Ugh. It's like they zap and drain the magic out of the holiday but then also expect enthusiastic sex and it's just depressing.