In most cases, it is a bad, bad idea to buy a house, especially your childhood home, with a bf, not a husband 🚩10 years together, no ring 🚩he makes > $100k, she $60k, but planning to split mortgage 50/50 🚩house is barely affordable even with their combined income. Ways this can go south in 3…2…1

engineergorl · 2021-11-07T05:41:35+00:00

Thankfully, most of the comments are telling her not to go for it, but from her comments, she really wants to go for it and may disregard all the advice. This is her childhood home! Can you imagine an ex potentially taking your childhood home hostage? She has an emotional attachment to the home. If they co-own the house, he would be able to force a sale of the house to get his equity out, and clearly she wouldn’t be able to afford to buy him out. It’s currently worth $800k since the parents were planning to put that on the market for that price, and after appreciation? Forget it. Quite frankly, with her lower income, she would be taking on more financial risk than her bf. If he stops paying a portion of the mortgage payment for whatever reason, she won’t be able to afford it on her own. At least if they were married and got divorced, she’d have her half of marital property as a financial cushion. If an unexpected big expense comes up (roof repair, etc.), how are they going to split it? What if she can’t afford her portion?

Ladies, a financial strategy for you: don’t assume anything about he would or wouldn’t do (“he’d never make me sell my childhood home”, “we’ll never break up”). Always operate on the cold, hard facts on what he’s able/allowed to do (“a co-owner can force the sale of a jointly owned property”, “if we break up, I will not be able to afford the mortgage payment. If my parents were to help me with it, they’d be making payments on a house they already paid off once plus 25 years of appreciation => the entire family is literally lighting their money on fire buying a house twice”). Ask yourself “What’s the worst that can happen?”, and make your decisions accordingly to protect yourself from those scenarios.

herbivorouscarnivore · 2021-11-07T05:57:30+00:00

Ooh, I wouldn’t play if my childhood home was involved. I would be devastated if the relationship went sour and he used the house against me.

It would be bad with any property, but especially with my childhood home.

warinmymind94 · 2021-11-07T06:29:21+00:00

If you can't afford it alone it's not a great idea. All the other red flags are already stated. Her better option is to move elsewhere with her 60k salary and find a starter home, small and modest is okay, at a price range she can handle alone. Do not get roped into over half a million of debt AND be attached to a scrote. A small house she buys in and pays for herself and has only her name on is the way to go he can rent an apartment for himself.

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2021-11-07T11:07:12+00:00

I would dump the ten year forever boyfriend and ask my parents to sell it to me alone at a price I can afford on my own.

The forever boyfriend has some suspicious financials there, would absolutely NOT want to get into a long term financial commitment with him.

Earns 100 grand, 100 grand savings yet 30k debt. I reckon the salary and savings are bullshit and the debt is way more.

That is a great deal for that house in a very hot market.

BooksandEarlGreyTea · 2021-11-07T10:17:23+00:00

I am not from the US, but over there doesn't student loans count as a debt and will be picked up when trying to take out a loan or a mortgage????

If so, why does he have 30K of student debt and 100K of savings? That just seems sus to me. Plus the fact he is not happy with the job and huge saving means he could quit the job and take a much lower paying job (or could lie about it being lower paying to drop more of the bills on her and build up his savings).

Heck I could see him convincing her to start putting money towards his 30K of debt after they bought a how together since they are 'building a life together'. He couldn't afford that home if it was on the market, but since her parents gave them a huge discount I bet the dollar signs are ticking over in his head especially if he can lower his contributions by going 50-50. If he can get that, how else can he fleece her?

TL:DR: this scrote is going to be robbing her blind and building up his assets at her expense.

Determinedblonde · 2021-11-07T08:41:39+00:00

He’s robbing her at that financial difference. He’s practically going to live there for free

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-11-07T10:58:30+00:00

So this is potentially a gift of $300,000, the reduction in cost they paid for the house if they turn around and sell it within a few years. 150k of which would be off with boyfriend. And the daughter might end up with no job in that area. This is a great investment for the BF.

Sage_Planter · 2021-11-07T14:13:29+00:00

Ugh. Terrible idea. Don't do it!

I've had four friends buy houses with their boyfriends. It's gone something like this:

Broke up within the first year living together, dating for three total.
Still not married after five plus years together and now expecting a baby, but owning a house together caused a lot of stress last year when they weren't in a good place and considering breaking up.
Engaged after four years.
Forever girlfriend of ten years getting sick of being said forever girlfriend.

The biggest problem is that for women 1, 2, and 4, whenever there's a fight or tension, there's another huge issue of "oh, we own this house together" that comes into play. Woman 2 basically spent all of 2020 freaking out about "I can't afford to leave with all my money tied up in the house." She makes a good income and could absolutely rent her own apartment if she wasn't constantly pouring money into the shared home. At least woman 4 was smart enough to get legal papers drawn up (at my insistence) about how the house would be divided in a break up, etc.

_cnz_ · 2021-11-07T09:35:24+00:00

Never understood how people can sign leases together, contribute to a mortgage, and buy property together but not get married. Like make it make sense. It’s way easier to get out of a marriage than having to deal with the legal battle of property assets and estates

I’m pretty sure OP wants to get the house only to push him into marriage

saraswati_beans · 2021-11-07T15:12:28+00:00

Ugh, this was so hard to read. OOP is clearly desperate for things to work out with them buying her parents’ house, and she is not thinking clearly. Her boyfriend holds all the power right now; there’s no way he’s going to marry her, and there’s no other way this scenario could work out in her favor. This dude is selfish (“hating” his high paying wfh job, wanting to go 50/50 even though she makes basically half of what he does, not prioritizing paying off his student loans, not having proposed after 10 years), and he’s going to stay selfish.

This could go one of two ways: 1) he agrees to buy the house with her, but not to get married, and ends up fucking her over financially and taking his profits to pay off his mom’s house and move to that city to start a new life without OOP, or 2) he ends up not buying the house with her and decides to move and pay off his mom’s house, and she can come along for the ride or not. She’ll probably end up going along with his plan and moving back to (presumably) his hometown, have trouble finding a job, and be relatively isolated except for contact with people her bf knows. Conflict will ensue, and he’ll end up cheating and dump her. Tale as old as time for the Forever Girlfriend.

Trying to do life with a man who is selfish to his core never ends well.

Junior-Lion7893 · 2021-11-07T17:52:30+00:00

That sounds like a shit idea.

My interpretation of what she’s saying is that her parents are willing haggle with her on pricing. It sounds like they want her to take it off their hands.

If I were her, I’d go to her parents and tell them that her bf should have no part in this and that she alone is going to be the sole owner of the house and not not expect anything from him.

Astral_weaver · 2021-11-07T07:21:34+00:00

Maybe it's the fact that I come from Europe, but what kind of parents SELL their house to their own child? Shouldn't they just pass it down? They may not take tax benefits, but their daughter will have a proper house without having to deal with her shit boyfriend through the process.

The_Cat_Empress · 2021-11-07T14:55:01+00:00

This house buying and credit stuff I don’t understand at all. All I know is my sisters credit went in the toilet thanks to her scrote of an ex husband. And she STILL wants him in her sons life. Ugh

preppykat3 · 2021-11-07T19:31:23+00:00

50/50 isn’t fair unless both of the incomes are the same.

Yogacat4 · 2021-11-07T11:37:16+00:00

No mention of their current rent. Have a feeling the $40k/$100k in savings would be partially retirement. Now she’s downgrading her income! Gas in CA is $5-8 or a gazillion a gallon, too. I’d pass on both the house and the guy…Yikes.

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2021-11-08T03:15:15+00:00

I’m so tired of seeing women wait around for a man to start investing in property. Like she could be looking at rental property to supplement her income. But no. She’s waiting for a man who won’t even marry her for financial security.

Specific-Composer300 · 2021-11-07T11:01:22+00:00

Why does he have 100k savings and 30k debt? Surely this doesn't make sense?

xfelugirlx · 2021-11-08T04:44:58+00:00

10 years and he didn’t propose? Girl he won’t do it lol like never☠️ and you giving away your childhood house, please don’t do it

tellmesomething11 · 2021-11-07T20:12:27+00:00

I would never risk this. Either I’m getting the house by myself or my parents can sell it. Period

fairywakes · 2021-11-09T16:27:05+00:00

Split 50/50? Is she out of her mind? She barely makes half of what he does pre tax. HELLO? FDS rescue mission needed! 🚨