In my experience, the worst men I’ve ever had the displeasure of engaging with did not have sisters. What are y’alls experience with this?

SourceInHerEyes · 2020-01-03T10:29:03+00:00

I see what you mean. Though I believe that having a sister and actually being close to that sister are not the same.

SextMex · 2020-01-03T11:34:45+00:00

Idk. My brother is EXTREMELY low value, always has been always will be. To the point where I've become friends with his girlfriends and took their side all the time. And that same brother has me, our older sister, and 4 nieces he absolutely adores and is extremely protective over.

However, he doesn't see the girls & women he's related to as their own autonomous people. He's weirdly obsessed with our adult niece (who is super level headed and emotionally intelligent) being a "good girl" (ew) and still tries to slut shame me, at 30.

He's also super shitty to our mom, then gets aggro with me when I enforce healthy boundaries with her.

So it's less about having women in his life and more about whether or not he sees them as capable humans.

Fatt3stAveng3r · 2020-01-03T12:59:12+00:00

I dated two only-children of divorced parents and they were AWFUL - alcoholics, abusive, rude and gaslighting. My current bf is close to his mom and sister, and spent time growing up with female aunts/cousins/grandparents. He's wonderful. Can confirm there's something to this.

happyduck18 · 2020-01-03T15:19:54+00:00

My sister and I have poured out a lot of love & emotional labor on our two little brothers. I am very certain they will both grow up to be HVM for sure. They are both very respectful of women, kind, and empathetic. While my parents and my brothers themselves get a lot of the credit for that, I’d say my sister and I have definitely helped.

With that being said, while personally I don’t tend to take in to consideration a guy’s siblings, my sister sees it as a “green flag” if he has sisters, and she tends to only date guys with sisters. If he has a good relationship with his sisters, and if those sisters are HVW themselves, there’s a very good change he’s a HVM.

partypancakesbacon · 2020-01-03T15:34:16+00:00

My son is only 13, had a co-ed birthday party. I noticed him speaking and chillin with everyone equally, while his guy friends mostly kept to themselves awkwardly. Then I noticed those 5 friends happen to not have sisters, while my son has a strong personality older sister. He interacts with all jovially and in the same manner. His girl friends are just friends to him like his guy friends are. Real friends. He is used to having real connections with guys and girls alike. I can’t discount the fact that he has grown up with his sister when I see this difference vs his peers.

UrsulaVanTentacles · 2020-01-03T15:57:44+00:00

I've had the opposite experience. My first serious relationship he had a sister and was honestly the most misogynistic, egotistical asshole I'd ever met. Zero respect for women. My last ex had THREE sisters, and was an angry dickhead. Selfish pig. Literally the only man I've dated who was respectful and a genuinely good person, only had brothers. I don't get it because in theory you would think men with sisters would have greater respect for females, wanting to set an example and treat women the way they'd want their sisters to be treated. But nah. Apparently not.

On the other side of that I have 2 brothers and one is a great guy. Honestly been loyal and kind to his wife for over a decade. The other ones kind of a douche. So I think it's really dependent on the individual.

hilariouslystated · 2020-01-03T15:06:17+00:00

I've actually seen the other side of that. The girls that I know who only have brothers have the best "game" I've ever seen in my life. They're FDS good.

dackaroo · 2020-01-03T15:32:06+00:00

I have a brother and he's awful.

drragonbones · 2020-01-03T18:14:02+00:00

Nope, plenty trash with strong women in their lives who learn nothing from it.

blackopium777 · 2020-01-03T12:51:08+00:00

My husband has a good relationship to female family members in general. We often have nieces or nephews over and he takes care of them so well. I think this is also very important. If he is nice to children (not in a creepy way), he already has a good Chance to be a good Person. Or in general: when he treats people well who can't "repay" him with anything, it's a green flag.

Whateverrr_345 · 2020-01-03T15:27:56+00:00

I kind of agree. The ideal men that were HV had an older sister and they were the younger brother. I found them to be more attentive, caring and providers

BUT...

The guy I go screwed over the most with had 3 other sisters and he was second to last in birth order. But he said growing up, he never got along with them. I guess he was the one left out and he had some issues with his mom. So that's a definite no for next time.

Guys with only brothers or mainly brothers are trash, though. In my experiences they lack any femininity AKA any care, they live to fight/they're tougher and I feel like they're more toxic.

Whateverbabe2 · 2020-01-03T20:21:30+00:00

My rule is that a man has gotta love his mother.

My fiance was super close with his mom and had a great relationship with her. Every HVM I've ever dated had a great relationship with their mothers and would go over to their moms to the weekend to help her with yard work, handyman stuff, etc. If I found out a man didn't have a good relationship with his mom I stopped talking to him. I don't even want friends like that. Most of the men I dated either did not have sisters or lived far from them.

LadyHormoneMonster · 2020-01-03T23:12:27+00:00

Not necessarily true. Men compartmentalize their female relationships, and “outside” girls are fair game. Men will even use their female relatives/friends as pawns to appear more trustworthy and build rapport w/ girls they’re interested in. (I kid you not)

However, if they have a sister it puts things in perspective. When guys get out of line and you say “What would you do if someone said this to your sister?”, they know they f’d up.

One benefit of guys with sisters is that they know how long it takes to get ready, and can be a little more understanding. They’re also not going to be shocked when they see you without makeup, sick or in PMS PJ mode.

I prefer men w/ strong female relationships, but it’s not a guarantee that they’ll be HVM’s who know how to respect all women.

genuszsucht · 2020-01-03T11:22:22+00:00

Not entirely like that. I guess you could use this as a rule of thumb, but there are always exceptions.

One of the worst men I had to deal lately with actually did have a sister, whom he appeared to love very much. Yet he treated/spoke about women he was sexually interested in with the utmost disrespect (making lewd remarks, cat calling and probably worse things that I don’t even know about). The Madonna/whore complex was real with this one for sure.

Luckily I was never romantically involved with him, or I would have regretted it very much, knowing what I know now that - over the course of our „friendship“ - he revealed his true colors. Strangely he never tried to hit on me though, guess it’s because I fell into the „Madonna“ category.

asianinindia · 2020-01-03T11:56:46+00:00

I've had quite the opposite experience. Most of the awful men I've met have sisters. They treat their sisters like virginal angels and all other women like trash.

ScarlettR24 · 2020-01-03T15:48:21+00:00

The best guy I've been with didn't have any sisters but he was close to his mum and grew up in a household where his mum was the breadwinner and his dad did the cooking etc.

_fishoutofwater_ · 2020-01-03T16:39:29+00:00

My bf has two brothers. They are all nice enough guys...

I think the relationship with the mother is probably more important. Have you noticed anything with that?

LunaGoddesses · 2020-01-03T19:09:14+00:00

Growing up, my boyfriend only had a half sister and last year learned he had another half sister. He witnessed his stepfathers abuse his mom and so he aspires to be a good person after seeing how badly they treated his mother. She's been done with men for years and has been living the single life with her children. Anyway, my boyfriend cares about everyone and gets along with everyone. He doesn't treat women that differently from men.

KitKat1705 · 2020-01-03T19:20:40+00:00

I have two abusive brothers they beat women up. I don't talk to either they are dead to me. So I don't agree at all with that statement.

shyntwyss · 2020-01-04T05:56:29+00:00

My first and best boyfriend only had 2 brothers, but his mum was the sweetest person ever and her sons definitely took after her:)

ceilingkatwatchesus · 2020-01-04T07:12:57+00:00

Not true in my experience. Had an ex who has a successful sister and mother. Still was a maniac. I think it really depends on the individual. Also my co-worker dosent have any sisters just a beautiful mother and he’s a giant teddy bear. Wouldn’t put his hand on any female although my ex was completely different.

MelatoninNightmares · 2020-01-04T01:22:07+00:00

I've never seen a correlation between siblings of any gender, or being an only child, and quality as a partner.