I’m sitting here getting ready for bed (this is usually when my mind starts to race all kinds of places) I just thought about this guy I dated about 2 years ago. He was my first adult relationship.. wooed me from the very beginning and was like my Prince Charming but of course this didn’t last for ever and he ended up being this emotionally abusive and controlling man who would gaslight me and contanstly made me feel as though I was not enough to him and always needed to prove how much I needed him although he made no effort to do the same for me.. (story for another day if anyone wants hear it) Anyways I’m sitting here thinking about the time he asked me to have a threesome with him, we had just gotten back together (after he broke up with me a day before my birthday.. I know I know what the hell was I thinking) he said his friends had taken him on a trip to New York for his 30th birthday and while there he got offered a threesome by two girls In the club but said he couldn’t go through with it because he was so heart broken over me (changed my number so he wouldn’t contact me) even though he broke up with me via text with no explanation and just ghosted. Then went on to say I owed him a threesome because I had sex with someone else whilst we were broken up ( we were broken up for about 4 months roughly)and he couldn’t bring himself to have a threesome without me and some how I had betrayed him... for weeks he wouldn’t stop mentioning it and when I told him his logic was flawed and was playing the victim for something he had created he would call me stupid and crazy for not seeing where he was coming from. Breaking point of the relationship was after trying to leave him for months but failing to get the courage I tried leaving and he told me he loved me (first time in the entire relationship the L word was brought up)Now that I’ve had years to reflect over that relationship I just laugh I feel sorry for the girl I was when I was in that relationship but I’m also glad I went through all these crazy things with him because now I’ll never allow another man to treat me like that and I know my worth.
To all the women on this subreddit who have gone through similar cases or are currently going through their own issues in a relationship, You need to remember your self worth at all times and never doubt yourself because somebody else has fed you all these lies you are worth being loved and you are worth being treated with respect and most importantly don’t be too afraid to walk away from something that’s toxic and bad for you just because you guys have a history or there was a time when things weren’t good! Always pick yourself and your happiness :)
( sorry the post is so long)