Older Women who hit their “sexual prime” post 30-: Has your libido legitimately gone up or do you think it was psychological thing?

virginiadancer · 2020-05-20T16:49:35+00:00

The article brings up some good points, though I'd like to expand on it a bit. I can only speak for myself and my close friends, but this is our experience:

Post 30 we are very interested in sex and more so than we were in our 20s. However, most of the men are not. They have all kinds of ED issues stemming from weird psychological hangups to injuries to being out of practice.

This is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, its great because there are very, very few fuckboys you have to contend with (especially post 35) so the whole 'wait 90 days to make sure he's not just in it for sex' really doesn't apply. Most of us don't have a rule about it other than generally getting to know someone and at our age, that's usually a month or two in. Also, sex generally is better. All the men I've been with in the last decade want to give me oral/ are VERY concerned with my satisfaction.

However, finding a man with a healthy sex drive and a working penis is practically impossible. I'm not interested in marriage, but I've found it MUCH easier to find a guy who wants a relationship rather than a casual encounter situation. This is unfortunate for me, since between my business and home renovation project, I really don't have time to meet family/ friends, to be their plus one at all the BBQs, or to give up my weekends going with them on trips.

Honestly I assumed I'd ALWAYS be able to find myself a man looking for casual sex and I've been sorely disappointed in the marketplace. At this point, I'm close to giving up on it altogether.

passionatevirtuoso · 2020-05-20T18:53:47+00:00

I'm not sure if I had a rise in my libido, but I certainly have better sex now. I have always been high libido.

As I got older I stopped using porn (mental) and vibrators (physiological), learned coping skills and became less depressed (emotional) and stopped GAF what others thought about me (mental).

I dumped the loser I dated for six years too. He was AWFUL and highly selfish in bed. (I didn't know because all the sex I knew was porn sex).

Most men in their twenties were.

They thought sex was ONLY doing things penis-related. So cunnilingus, manual stimulation, etc were not sex and they didn't enjoy them... AKA the things must women need to orgasm.

They didn't know how to have loving, slow sex. They didn't know how to have actual passionate sex. They only knew porn sex.

It was incredibly boring.

So basically the men changed, or I had better luck at picking them, or stopping porn helped with all of the above.

ruby_radmuppet · 2020-05-20T18:50:17+00:00

How many women start going off BC in their 30s to conceive? I noticed a huge difference in my libido once I was no longer on hormones, and I thought I was on the relatively low/localized dose Mirena IUD.

I had been on some form of BC since about 18 so I'm really not sure what my natural sexual cycle was like until my 30s.

keithmorrisonsvoice · 2020-05-20T18:53:12+00:00

36 here and yes, never loved my body and looks more. I know how to eat and have proper nutrition, I can afford to dress how I want, get nice makeup, heels and go places. I feel like I think about it alot and when I'm in a relationship, I prefer it daily. In my 20s, I was overweight, couldn't afford the nice clothes and was physically /sexually insecure.

mycatpukesglitter · 2020-05-20T16:56:06+00:00

In my mid-late 20s I started working to be a better version of myself. Part of that was working to heal emotional trauma. I treated the life-long depression I didn’t know I had. Once I was able to recognize my faults and work to improve them, my entire life improved and I felt worthy of what I wanted, even though I had gained weight and felt a bit insecure about my looks.

I became more assertive and able to communicate my needs, which translated into the bedroom. I became more comfortable with who I am, and that made me more comfortable with sex, so now I enjoy it more.

So for me, it’s more phycological than physical.

tellmesomething11 · 2020-05-20T20:08:15+00:00

I think my libido has gone up, I’m 39.... but in my twenties, I was sooo busy, I moved to a new city, had to juggle school and work AND trying to support myself as an adult. I had a lower libido because I was stressed tf out all the time...

I make great money now, have my own place, have children, graduated w degrees. I mean, life is good🤷🏽‍♀️ all I worry about is working out, saving money and vacations.

It’s def mindset.

Jenloubak · 2020-05-21T00:42:06+00:00

I believe it’s also to do with both not giving a fuck and realising all of society is bullshit.

You become more comfortable with who you are and are freer So instead of being upset you may be a slut, you’re all like, call me Slut whatever Trevor.

ethnicallyabiguous · 2020-05-21T03:21:24+00:00

I’m in my mid 30’s. I feel mine hasn’t changed like people said it would. However, I know myself and my body better than in my 20’s. I know how to have sex for my satisfaction and I’m comfortable saying my needs in bed. Mostly because I have the conversations before bed. Men however will try you still sometimes, and you MUST be assertive. In essence, the sex is just better in my 30’s so I want it more than I did in my 20’s.

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Title	Older Women who hit their “sexual prime” post 30-: Has your libido legitimately gone up or do you think it was psychological thing?
Author	TheOGJammies
Upvotes	31
Comments	11
Date	May 20, 2020 3:17 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gnd76n/older_women_who_hit_their_sexual_prime_post_30/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/older-women-who-hit-their-sexual-prime-post-30-has.675655 https://theredarchive.com/post/675655