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justme8000
[–]gone-ariaFDS Newbie294 points295 points296 points 3 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
I’ve gotten told by many people that I was intimidating, all the way from middle school and highschool up until now. I always take it as a compliment. It’s funny because I’m actually super friendly when I start talking!
I think what people find intimidating about me is that I have a very calm demeanour and I (generally) seem like I have my shit together. I’ve been told when I’m out in public alone I look like I’m “on a mission” and look like I don’t want to be disturbed. (True) RBF may also be a contributing factor.
If all of that makes me intimidating... well... okay!
[–]SquibFDS Newbie117 points118 points119 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You sound really confident. Love that!
You also don't have an RBF... it's just a face. Sucks that society tells us we have to smile or look friendly. Their problem if they cannot handle you existing and being natural.
[–]gone-ariaFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Aw thank you so much for this!!! You’re so right!
[–]denverkrisFDS Newbie76 points77 points78 points 3 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
>"I’ve been told when I’m out in public alone I look like I’m “on a mission” and look like I don’t want to be disturbed. "
I mean, isn't everyone ("on a mission")? I ain't retired, after this I got more shit to do.
[–]werker115FDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Heheheee
[–]gone-ariaFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hahah true dat, queen!
[–]IwillMasticateYouFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ive got RBF too and so glad for masks now!
Masks are a lifesaver! I love going out and feeling anonymous and also protected.
I kinda feel like masks make my eyes pop more, too! 🧐
[–]srkambbs1FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I can relate to this. I call people out on their shit so that probably doesn't help either
[–]gone-ariaFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same LOL
[–]HornetKickFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If all of that makes me intimidating
I get the same but it's usually from caucasians and when it comes from them it's a measure of being insulting. I often time just shrug because I detest mousey people anyway and I frown even harder when someone tells me to smile, which is usually men.
Oh interesting, I never thought of it from that perspective!! I’m pretty white and usually hear I’m intimidating from other white people. 🤷🏼♀️ Maybe it IS a caucasian thing? Lol.
I’ve never been told to smile though, that sounds infuriating and I’m sorry you have to deal with that... although it seems like you found a good solution!
[–][deleted] 167 points168 points169 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I always took "intimidating" as a compliment because my strong demeanor helps to keep LVM away. Shoo! 👸
[–]CityshyFDS Newbie51 points52 points53 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I wish this was true all the time, some abusive LVMs target strong, confident ("fiery" "intimidating") women because its more fun and more of a challenge for them to conquer and wear her down. Sometimes they want their victim to fight back. Awful but true.
[–][deleted] 20 points21 points22 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
True, so be extra cautious.
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PrivyPalFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Love this!!
[–]Ghost_namesakeFDS Newbie116 points117 points118 points 3 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
I wish I had heard this as a teenager. I was told I was intimidating, so I made myself smaller to be accepted.
[–]justme8000FDS Newbie[S] 66 points67 points68 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
EXACT same. And it was like I did a polar opposite to compensate. My own mom told me not to be so bossy and intimidating because people wouldn’t like me. Looking back, I wasn’t being bossy.
[–][deleted] 50 points51 points52 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If you have to shrink so that people can swallow you let them choke🤷🏻♀️
[–]HornetKickFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
let them choke
loved this.
[–]thedutchqueenFDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
we all need a friend like Rebecca
[–]justme8000FDS Newbie[S] 10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes!!
[–]denverkrisFDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
a smart, strong man = confident, outgoing, a go getter
a smart, strong woman = intimidating, bossy, a bitch
[–]MilitantPERFFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Exactly, the freaking sexist double standards against us females sicken me!
[–]AlextheAnalystPickmeisha™️3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As well as, "Trying to be a man."
[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice97 points98 points99 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
damn right! it's not my job to walk on eggshells just so you can keep your masculine ego intact.
also, beware! when they say stuff like: "you make me feel/do/say..." pause and think hard.
Lundy Bancrof in his book "why does he do that?" is pretty clear on the red flags: abusive men cannot own their emotions and their actions. they are the type that will do horrible things and then blame it on you: "look what you made me do" is their favorite motto.
we do not make anyone do anything! we do not make them lose control or say bad shit or feel emasculated or intimidated.
they choose to feel that way because they are so effing disconnected from their emotional side and they cannot psychologically own their own reactions. they cannot self regulate and their introspection is in the dumps.
A man that says: you make me feel this or that... is just nah. Not responsible and accountable for his inner life. No one is making *you* feel shit. You *feel* intimidated because there are unresolved tensions in your life, not because a woman happens to walk past you or open her mouth. A woman is not a factor. The factor is something deep inside that man that he tries to suppress or doesn't address properly and it's causing him problems. This is why I avoid emotionally stunted men like the plague.
[–]justme8000FDS Newbie[S] 16 points17 points18 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow. This is SO well said!!! I love it!
[–][deleted] 16 points17 points18 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’m always being told I have an attitude. The way I behave will get me into trouble.
It’s literally just me having an opinion and not being impressed by men.
[–]HornetKickFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m always being told I have an attitude. The way I behave will get me into trouble. It’s literally just me having an opinion and not being impressed by men.
to the tee!! so GOOD!!
[–]HmtnswFDS Newbie36 points37 points38 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I had a man once tell me he thought I was intimidating.
I took it as a compliment. Own the power. Wear the crown.
[–]ChocolateBiscuit96FDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Many people say I look really mean and intimidating but once I speak, they’re like “omg, I thought I wouldn’t like you”. Welp, that’s my face and idk what to tell you. If you feel some of type way, then that’s on you!
[–]FeminineImperativeFDS Newbie51 points52 points53 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I get "talked to" at work because coworkers find me intimidating. Sorry me doing my job really well scares you? What am I supposed to do about that, do a worse job? No.
[–]Confection_EfficientFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Omg I got this from my last manager at a fortune 100 company. I’m so glad I realized HE was initimidated by me and stopped feeling f’ing bad that I’m a powerful woman with things called thoughts and intellect.
We are allowed to be powerful, ladies.
[–]AliceKingslyAt-Risk Pick Me Youth6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've gotten told his in past and I've always taken it as a compliment. Although it was shocking when this girl thought I was goinga fight her after she accidentally bumped into me when I tried to walk past her afterwards. She literally backed up in fear and apologized profusely and I'm just like ?🤨 I'm just trying to get by. Plus she was WAY bigger than me. If we had gotten into a fight she would've broken some of my bones (I'm skinny and short. 5'5).
[–]yolosunshineFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“Aannoying” “bitchy” “clingy”
These words could on the off chance be what they mean.
“Intimidating” however ALWAYS means ‘your competence or presence makes me feel unworthy of your interest and I’m gonna go hide now.
[–]PrivyPalFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This categorizes as a "them problem" for sure!
[–]RavenWudgieRose3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Oof, I wish my friends in high school backed me up like this. I was targeted by the mean girls and boys when I did absolutely nothing wrong except draw in my own corner, and they would taunt me with "can you even smile?" And would still make fun of me for smiling because I "looked weirder without my RBF, after all"... the very definition of damned if you don't and damned if you do. Oh well, teenage me would never believe that I can use my RBF to my advantage in the adult world and finally be taken seriously.
[–]seekingcodingjediThrowaway Account1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In India we have terms for this: 'good girl', 'simple girl', 'homely' which all basically mean : you are a doormat and we love that because we can walk all over you.
[+][deleted] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]gone-ariaFDS Newbie294 points295 points296 points (13 children) | Copy Link
[–]SquibFDS Newbie117 points118 points119 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]gone-ariaFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]denverkrisFDS Newbie76 points77 points78 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]gone-ariaFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]justme8000FDS Newbie[S] 66 points67 points68 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]justme8000FDS Newbie[S] 16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]AliceKingslyAt-Risk Pick Me Youth6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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