Reddit's misogyny is showing. This man obviously isn't over his ex. His new fiancee picked up on that yet the comments call her a crazy bitch 🙄

companyofwolves · 2021-01-03T18:07:20+00:00

Honestly? Yikes all around. Being jealous of a dead woman is kind of pathetic (and smacks of irrationally jealous Pick Me) and it's equally pathetic for this dude to move on when he's clearly not ready.

Men really cannot stand to live on their own and deal with their own problems no matter how badly they need to. Like... do the math. This man is 27 years old and was together with his late gf for 13 years. When did they get together? How long has his late gf even been dead? 5 minutes?

SpringJonesOcean · 2021-01-03T17:32:56+00:00

It's weird that he's already engaged if he's still mourning. But also, the woman is dead. It sounds like she was a family friend he grew up with that later became his girlfriend. His fiance' seems to lack basic empathy and is letting her jealousy over a dead woman cloud her judgment. They really aren't compatible and should just move on. But I don't think either of them are assholes for how they feel.

GrapeJuiceEnthusiast · 2021-01-03T18:18:59+00:00

A lot of people here are micsonstruing everything I've said.

First of all I do not think the fiancee should have deleted the files. It is cruel, mean, immature and just doesn't solve the problem.
Despite that I can't blame her for being jealous. Just look at the way he talks about his ex vs his fiancee. He dedicates several lines to how amazing his ex was but nothing about his relationship with his fiancee. His family seem to adore her as well. Who wouldn't feel second best? Let's have some empathy for her as well.
Despite this the fiancee should have recognised this man clearly hasn't moved on and broken up amicably with him so he could mourn in peace.
Some have asked where the evidence is that he hasn't moved on and that he rushed into the engagement. If you look at his age and the amount of time he dated his ex for you can figure it out. There's a high possibility his ex was only dead for a few months before he jumped into this new relationship.
My problem is that very few comments even considered the fiancee's side of things. Many were making fun of her, calling her a crazy bitch and other misogynistic slurs and calling her insane. We've already had someone call her a crazy bitch ON HERE already which kind of proves my point.

Edit: I also think him brushing off his fiancee when she expressed concerns about the way his mother talked about his ex was low value behaviour.

Wildestrose1988 · 2021-01-03T17:44:08+00:00

I'm sorry I'm not on her side. This is abusive. I couldn't even read through the whole thing. This is so infuriating if a guy deleted videos of a person I love who died I would fucking go ballistic and probably end up in prison

2021-01-03T17:44:34+00:00

Hmm... Idk about this one. I don't think it's a matter of being over them. The poor woman passed away...all he has of her is those videos. If someone I loved died, it would never ever be okay for the new partner to touch my memories and videos that existed long before they did. I'd actually ask about the deceased person, and how my partner dealt with it. 13 years is a long time, if their relationship (which no longer exists) is still threatening to me, I'd probably take time out of dating so I can build my self esteem up. It just seems very evil to permanently delete those memories.

GrapeJuiceEnthusiast · 2021-01-03T17:28:57+00:00

You can peek the comments section by Googling the title of the thread. You'll find it.

Not trying to condone her deleting his personal files. She should have broken up with him instead of doing that. But he is wrong to get engaged to a woman when he is clearly still in love with his ex girlfriend. It is so unfair to his fiancee yet I only saw one or two comments pointing this out. The rest were calling her insane, jealous and telling OP to run. How disgusting.

NotSoSmartChick · 2021-01-03T19:43:45+00:00

What she should have done was just dump him. If you feel like you’re competing with a ghost, you need to move on. Don’t delete videos and pics or throw away mementos.

I say this as the widow of a widower. So, I’ve been in both positions.

misty-muse · 2021-01-03T18:13:38+00:00

He talks about the new fiancée as though she is an appliance. The way he talks about her, she is clearly a placeholder for the deceased woman he loved (or, at least, appears to love in hindsight). I can’t wrap my mind around how a male blindly pursues a woman he doesn’t care for or know anything about. How he stumbles into an engagement. We are not the same

Why doesn’t he marry his mommy instead if he takes her side over the replacement fiancée’s in an argument?