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She realized she’s basically single but with more chores

December 11, 2020

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Post Information
Title She realized she’s basically single but with more chores
Author cicerii
Upvotes 4258
Comments 212
Date December 11, 2020 2:41 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/she-realized-shes-basically-single-but-with-more.731709
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kb406u/she_realized_shes_basically_single_but_with_more/

[–]BBQCoolRanchQueenFDS Apprentice923 points924 points  (62 children) | Copy Link

Being a single mom is leagues easier than being married/living with a man toddler. There are a lot of what I call "married single mothers" out there; the lvm/nvm earns the paycheck, and not much else. At least with actual single motherhood, you don't have to deal with added chores, the emotional labor of dealing with an ass hat daily, and for the most part, financial abuse (as some men abuse from beyond the relationship grave, see child support avoidance). Single motherhood can be liberating, and I'm so glad she's finally free!

[–]just-peepin-at-uFDS Newbie336 points337 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Hell, some of those men don’t even bring in a paycheck, but I agree with what you said.

[–]SpaceC4seFDS Newbie58 points59 points  (2 children) | Copy Link


[–]midge_ratFDS Newbie41 points42 points  (1 child) | Copy Link


[–]LevelupmamaFDS Newbie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Haha I just sent this to my friend with “felt. Understood”

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice182 points183 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

And let's not forget that sometimes the LVM/NVM does not want to contribute with money or insists that she pays half when it comes to the children even though she is the primary caregiver. Or the scrote earns less and does scrotey things with the money (alcohol, porn, strippers etc).

[–]tellmesomething11FDS Apprentice91 points92 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

My ex earned more and had nice clothes, went clubbing, drank heavily..meanwhile I had very little and never went out or bought nice things for myself.

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice155 points156 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

So basically he was married and retained 100% of his privileges as a single man while doing zero for the new family he helped create.

Sounds like a scrote's credo.

[–]SpaceC4seFDS Newbie83 points84 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

And then these dickwads have the gall to wonder why divorce is such a common occurrence

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice84 points85 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Divorce is actually a good thing. Allowing a man to leech off you while giving him marriage benefits, isn't.

[–]tellmesomething11FDS Apprentice42 points43 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It was crazy how unhappy I was. He had the nerve to tell me he was mad at me for divorcing him and that I’d never do better. I told him I’ve had exes that treated me really well but he wasn’t one of them.

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm glad you did what's best for you. Divorce may not be easy but hurting yourself and diminishing your value, integrity and sacrificing your happiness is not worth it. We have 1 life, 1 chance to live happily and to feel alive.

Let's prioritize mental health and healthy relationships over what we once thought should be the norm. Maybe marriage is not for everyone, maybe we need to prove those people wrong.

Being with someone... Sure... Sounds beautiful... But at what cost?

The moment they show us that they do not respect us and the vows they made, we need to understand that we either choose denial and we continue or we choose truth and we live for our personal happiness.

Are we brave enough to want to be happy? I think we are, I really do! And if we are happy with ourselves, of course, we'll always welcome a like minded partner into our lives, someone that can add to that happiness, not diminish it.

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Scrote's Credo, it could rival Assassin's Creed.

[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What bothers me the most is not the spending less on stuff.

The inequality that matters to me is the lack of free time we mothers have.

TIME preservation is all that matters to me once the very basics are covered.

[–]WchijafmFDS Newbie55 points56 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Doesn't matter if he earns more. Men will always prioritize(even frivolous) purchases for themselves over anyone else in the household.

[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

My ex used to demand 50% of rent from me, even though we agreed that I would be a SAHM.

[–]justforfdsFDS Newbie4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That defies even LVM logic! What did you do?

[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nothing the first few years, divorce as soon as my son was old enough.

NEVER regretted it for a single second.

[–]TERFSareawesomeFDS Apprentice160 points161 points  (21 children) | Copy Link

Anyone in doubt about the huge number of women in exactly these kinds of relationships needs to visit breakingmom. The number of guys who literally add NOTHING- no income, NO household help, no cooking, no childcare, just sitting around playing video games and watching porn, is astronomical.

[–]BBQCoolRanchQueenFDS Apprentice114 points115 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Breakingmom is a sad, sad read. Every time. It's full of women who are abused, humiliated, sexually assaulted, trapped financially and psychologically with pathetic lvm/nvm. I hope they stumble upon fds. These lvm don't deserve to procreate any further.

[–]TERFSareawesomeFDS Apprentice91 points92 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Yeah. It's crazy. I'd love to drop some wisdom on those poor women but they keep it pretty controlled, you're not allowed to post unless you're also a mom and you get banned if you "shame" anyone in anyway, which seems to mean expressing concern about most of their appallingly shitty situations. So it's like this circle jerk of fellow women who have been really dumb about their relationship, giving each other bad advice ("Have you tried really listening to him? Maybe giving him a massage? He might be feeling stressed and upset because he's ashamed of not having a job or income and that's why he just plays video games all day.") It's a self perpetuating community of just sad sad sad delusion

[–]Danigirl_03FDS Newbie52 points53 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

They also automatically ban you if you post or comment here.

[–]DV_throwaway19675FDS Newbie65 points66 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

There are a few 'womens' subs on reddit that I believe are just suffer porn for men, becuase female-first rhetoric is always explicitly banned. The only women allowed to post are the ones who express the conventional views that perpetrate female servitude.

R/domesticviolence is one of them.

[–]99powerFDS Apprentice43 points44 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Wow, Reddit is a misogynist shithole. It’s like r feminism being moderated by MRA’s. This site is so evil. No wonder it has an 80% male user base.

[–]LurkForYourLivesFDS Newbie30 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

After the last female space eradication blitz from Reddit, a bunch of women made a new site called ovarit. Haven’t checked it out yet, but a safe space for women.

[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


In every way while enslaved. We need to help them imho.

[–]LevelupmamaFDS Newbie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I got banned from there just for being here lol no posts. No comments. Nada.

[–]LittleWinnFDS Newbie73 points74 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I had to unsubscribe from that sub, the rage and sadness I feel reading those stories is toxic.

[–]TERFSareawesomeFDS Apprentice54 points55 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know. To know so many women are living like that has really shocked me.

[–]terrn1981FDS Newbie43 points44 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There's this meme that goes around every Christmas where it basically states that dads get to be surprised when the kids open gifts on Xmas morning, bc they have no clue or took zero part in Xmas shopping. Its supposed to be cute and "haha, so true" funny - but nah, it just pisses me off that society is ok with mom doing ALL the mental and emotional labour of family life, plus work full time. Its bullsh*t. These same women that post this stuff will also claim to be a feminist.

[–]terrn1981FDS Newbie43 points44 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I was banned from breakingmom the very first comment I made bc I basically told a woman to have some self-respect and love herself enough to leave. Apparently that isn't their version of supportive.

They want the comments to simply agree with how hard life is, but don't dare suggest they take any responsibility to change their miserable existence. Also, they automatically ban you from commenting if you post here. Bc God forbid, you dare suggest Independence from men as a better alternative to their misery.

I left my marriage with three kids while in this situation. I actually get MORE time to myself now, bc every other week, he has the kids, and he has had to learn to parent. We also get along much better now than when we were married. Far better for the kids this way as well.

[–]justforfdsFDS Newbie4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I admire your strength, self-respect and forward vision. Many adult children of such relationships, where Mum didn't leave, really suffer for it in what they learn about acceptable behaviour.

[–]LevelupmamaFDS Newbie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes! I’ve been watching “who the bleep did I marry” And it’s a lot of “save the marriage for the kids rhetoric” with horrible ass men (and some women) but damn. Lol I’m like wow y’all would’ve been better getting divorced.

[–]Danigirl_03FDS Newbie64 points65 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yep it’s my standard response when someone asks me why I chose to be a single mom at 21 from the get go. Well I knew from the start it was just going to be me. And that was a hell of a lot easier than thinking I’d have some sort of magic support from a man. It was simpler and easier to know I was handling my shit period.

[–]Bex_The_HexFDS Newbie52 points53 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I'm with this woman. At least now the dirty dishes in the sink are mine, or my daughter's - who IS my responsibility. At least the clothes are washing are mine and hers. When her dad broke up with me, we still lived together for a couple months (boy was that confusing), and he still expected me to cook for him and clean up after him and do his laundry. My place is currently a bit disorganized (just moved a month ago, and mental health taking a toll), but at least it's all MY disorganization. I'll take this over being with him or anyone like him ever again.

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I wish you well.

[–]Bex_The_HexFDS Newbie3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thank you <3

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]asteroidvestaFDS Newbie52 points53 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yaaassssss...married moms love to look down on me. Ohhhhh you poor thing it must be so HARD being a single mom!!!! Bitch it was hard being married to a man baby. And I’ve seen your husband and watched how much he does; don’t even act like you have it better and I’m some sorry case. I know exactly what I did and I’m 1000x better.

[–]TheOGJammiesRuthless Strategist56 points57 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A man toddler that demands his penis be touched for existing because "mah marital rights"

[–]lowsodiumhumanbeingThrowaway Account17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes! I grew up the child of a single mother, and I wouldn’t change that. Things were hard at times, sure, but there was no good cop-bad cop dynamic, and our relationship was always very open and free. I decided when I was a kid that if I ever had children, I’d want to be a single mom. All of my friends’ dads just seemed like a lot of trouble.

[–]Conclusion-WasteThrowaway Account13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I keep praying my best friend will divorce her man toddler.... he makes her pay half the rent, he buys stupid camera lenses all the time and last year wrapped a coffee mug she got herself and gave it to her for Christmas- you can’t make this shit up.

[–]questionsaboutrel521FDS Apprentice3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hell yes! What I love about this QUEEN ENERGY in this thread is the realization that it’s never too late to take your life back. Better to be a single mom than stay with a man that doesn’t build you up.

[–]dulcioriFDS Newbie378 points379 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Good for her! She must feel so liberated. :)

[–]CoffeeCakeGodFDS Newbie21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Happy cake day!

[–]Call_me_Charlotte15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Happy cake day! :)

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple310 points311 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

He expected sex and massages...

[–]undertheunderbellyFDS Newbie170 points171 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

At that point what did he even do aside from work?

[–][deleted] 67 points68 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And she also fucking worked. Worthless scrote.

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good question.

[–]wigsnatcher42Pickmeisha™️1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

a lot of these men think they do the majority of the work just by going to an outside job (because "womens work" is not real work in their minds), and they think they're entitled to sex because they ~work hard~

[–]dzgataFDS Disciple47 points48 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

He went to work why wouldn’t he?? It’s not like she worked the same hours and does every single droplet of unpaid labor...oh wait...

And people try to pass this shit off as “equality” fucking stupid fucks

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, it's fucking crazy!

[–]futuristicallyangryFDS Newbie237 points238 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I love this! My mom is a single mom too from the time of my birth as she and my dad were separated and they finalized the divorce after a couple of years. And she says the exact same thing, that she was already doing a lot of stuff and sabotaging her higher education for the sake of my dad, and now at least she gets to spend her time pouring her love into her kid and herself instead of staying stuck with my dad who is like a nagging baby. Even I have seen his behaviour and I thank the universe that mom got a better life.

[–]moonartemis1989FDS Newbie46 points47 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

im happy for you and your mum

[–]Ana_jpFDS Newbie200 points201 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

All my mothers divorced friends have found they have so much more time and money since their husbands left.

[–]neoneccentric58 points59 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have a friend who is so desperate to get married, and I tell her all the time that the picture perfect image she has in her head is often far from reality. That scenario is my worst nightmare.

[–]potmakesyouparanoidFDS Newbie28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes! I was astounded by how much more money I had once I got divorced!

[–]wigsnatcher42Pickmeisha™️7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ive noticed the same thing. Divorced women with kids are usually 100x more fun, have their own identities, and spend more time traveling and doing hobbies with friends.

[–]DV_throwaway19675FDS Newbie138 points139 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

This is the reason women are single with young kids, no other reason. Always this. Which is why single dads are always undateable.

[–]souredskittlesFDS Disciple61 points62 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I agree. It’s always the baby momma doing the most to make things work. There was this “single dad” in med school that wanted to date but that was a hard pass for me. Like shouldn’t you spend any extra time with your daughter instead of trying to get with random women? Smh get lost dude

[–]tellmesomething11FDS Apprentice38 points39 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I dated a single father once. He cancelled his visit with his kid to hang out with me (we were LDR and I was visiting) and I let him have it. I refused to hang out with him....dude, go to your daughter. I shamed tf outta him.

[–]deranged_berserkerFDS Newbie17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I shamed tf outta him.

This is the right action

[–]moonartemis1989FDS Newbie4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

. I shamed tf outta him.

omg ,queen move. what did you say?

[–]tellmesomething11FDS Apprentice9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lol! Ok here’s the story:

I visited him in Hawaii. On wednesdays he had his daughter, and he worked mornings, so I was prepared not to see him all day. However he was abusive 🙄 (I didn’t realize this) and he blew me up via telephone all morning, because the thought of me having fun and “potentially fucking other guys” couldn’t happen on his watch! 🤣 I didn’t know this till later.

  • He shows up at my Airbnb as I’m getting dressed. I let him in and I’m confused bc he’s supposed to be seeing his daughter. He starts harassing me about my outfit and “I’m looking to fuck men” while he isn’t there. I ignored all that and was like “why aren’t you with your daughter?” Because I knew about the wed visits. He says “oh I’m not visiting her today because you’re out here and she’s fine with it.”

  • hard 🛑. “She’s fine with it?!? She’s 8.” He was like “yes.” I say “did you even talk to her?” He says he told her that he had to work. So I say “ Soo... basically you lied to your daughter to hang out with me. What if she sees us? Hawaii ain’t that big? Why are you lying in the first place? You know what? I don’t care. You cannot hang with me instead of your child. She comes first! Why do you have to be told this?!? I’m about to head out but you’re not invited to come with me. And you’re trash. Pure trash. Only a scumbag and a deadbeat would ditch their kid for some vagina. Just go away.” I don’t like to call people names but I was so triggered bc of memories of my deadbeat dad doing this same shit...

  • the rage I encountered from the man.....it was like a light switch. He screamed in my face that he’s gonna do whatever he wants and how dare I tell him what to do....I was like wtf? I hate liars so what did he expect? So he leaves and I refuse to speak to him for 3 days...lol, I’m only in Hawaii for like 10 days and this was on day 3. Idgaf. Anyway, all this escalated into a huge issue where he abused me later as punishment for not speaking to him but that didn’t happen until day 7 and is a story for another day🤦🏽‍♀️.

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You are wise.

[–]terrn1981FDS Newbie31 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"THe FaMiLy CoUrTs HaTe MeN "!

Hurr durr.

[–]thighsmatchFDS Newbie17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Single dad with full custody might be an exception. I work with such a guy (the mother was an addict so he got custody). He seems like a good dad and good person and is adamant that he probably won’t date until his child is older.

[–]OpenCelebration3FDS Newbie13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

From the small amount of divorcees I’ve dated .... it’s always been easy for me to quickly see that THEY were the problem in their marriages 😬😬

[–][deleted] 138 points139 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Bless her. I have no kids, am single, have no responsibilities except my career n am care free but I get how women get into that mess. You don't have to put up with anything!! Men are easily replaceable, disposable n not needed!!

[–]SayNadFDS Newbie91 points92 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Same sis. Am single and have zero desire to pursue a relationship or get married - because most marriages is not love, it is a full-time thankless, stressful, exhausting JOB. And your boss happens to be the most narcissistic mysogynistic whiny lazy POS ever existed, and not even paying you shit. And still dare to complain about your performance while he sits on his ass all day playing his phone.

Unless I met that almost extinct HVM that inherently understand that marriage is a DIVISION OF LABOR, I rather die alone. Fuck that shit.

[–]souredskittlesFDS Disciple45 points46 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Me too sis. After reading all the testimonials here I’m not pressed about relationships or marriage anymore. I hated how they expected sex every time they pop a boner (which is triggered easily) without thinking about how I feel.

I feel relief and also scared because had I been a little bit more misguided I could’ve fallen into this trap myself. Good thing I was working on the coins first that I didn’t get a chance to get involved in these messes.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah n they pop boners FOR ANYTHING. Literally anything. Meanwhile I had a legit 10/10 looking guy in front of me n i rejected him cuz he was too needy n effeminate..that turned me tf off. I legit couldn't help it...just like how men can get a boner by their gramna brushing pass them...truely sick in the head they are.

[–]Exsqueeze_mehFDS Newbie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yep me too! Single, no kids, Own my home and bought it myself, career, dogs, amazing group of friends, hobbies and best of all ... no "u up" texts anymore from some horny depraved scrote at midnight. Life is grand!

[–]BabyBlankieieieieieFDS Apprentice118 points119 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

She’s gorgeous, love her hair and eyeliner, and she deserves better. Glad she bailed!

[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple72 points73 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She's literally glowing from the lack of stress in her life now she's thrown out the 200 pound manbaby.

[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist100 points101 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I don’t have kids, but I’ve always thought this about single mothers. Though I can see it must be hard because growing a child is a huge responsibility, I can see how much harder it is with an extra man baby who she has to look after.

I remember when an old friend had her first baby and was initially struggling - she was looking after the baby and doing all the housework etc. as many would know, couldn’t even have a shower in the early months as she couldn’t leave bubs alone. And her husband actually said “I want to but I don’t know how to help you.” And she’s just like “ahhh maybe do some of the 4 loads of washing I do per day? Change some diapers? Bath the baby? Do dishes? Make dinner?...” seriously. These men just think women were put on this earth to serve them.

[–]SpaceC4seFDS Newbie57 points58 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

“I want to but I don’t know how to help you.”

That's such bullshit. He knew how. He was just waiting for her to ask so he could shut her down with "I don't have time for this" "But it's my night out with the boys" "Do you ever stop nagging me" Etc etc etc... All because she wanted some help now and again so she could take a shower

[–]iaintgonnacallyouFDS Newbie25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

How about “but you do it so much better than me”? 🙄 Practice, motherfucker. It’s called practice.

[–]WchijafmFDS Newbie32 points33 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

They think every woman has this inherited knowledge of how to care for a new born. No we wing it, ask google and ask our moms. They dont even try.

[–]thetruerealogThrowaway Account102 points103 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I've always heard that there are a ton of moms out there happier once they got divorced. They say at least now he is forced to be with the kids a few day each month so they have more free time. Also what she said. They have one less person to take care of.

I used to have a coworker who was not married but had three kids at the age of 25 with her boyfriend. The oldest kid was 6 I think. I'm not sure. But the point is that the dad was unemployed. The kids all went to school except one. So in the mornings he would take the kids to school and have all the morning for himself and he would only stay with one kid. But then he refused to take care of the kids so his girlfriend could go out. So that means she would leave from work at 3 and would only get two hours until the kids were out. And during this two hours she had to stay with the baby one. Her boyfriend would only take the kids if she had an extra shift during afternoon's. He was more a babysitter than a father for them.

So that means she had no free time for herself. Had to go from work to the house. No social life. She was the only one working and even if they were not married he would have access to her bank accounts. He was the one making the decisions about money.

So it's really sad because she was the one working, the one taking care of the kids and the boyfriend was the one spending the money

The worst part is if she separated his boyfriend she would be better. As a single mom she would get daycare for the baby for free. She would get more benefits from the government. So she would get rid of the boyfriend who spends all her money AND get more money for herself from the government.

Now we don't work together but I don't know. I just feel sad for her. Also did I mention his boyfriend is 7/8 years older? She told me but I can't remember the exact age.

[–]sugaredberryFDS Newbie56 points57 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s always the pedophilic scrotes who are big moochers and abusers.

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm feeling nauseated.

[–]denverkrisFDS Newbie83 points84 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I think about women like her every time some man toddler friend of mine posts shit on social media when their wives go out of town and they're like:


Whenever they do I roast the shit out of them.

[–]WchijafmFDS Newbie33 points34 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

When you no longer care to keep them as friends. Just start commenting shit like "I see someone finally passed Parenting 1101 after 6 years of trying" bet the mom likes the comment.

[–]denverkrisFDS Newbie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The last guy I did this too, his wife did indeed chuckle in the comments. And I could care less if I hurt their little fee fees, lol

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That shit pisses me off. They get thrown a parade if they post an image of being in the same room as their kid.

[–]LevelTurbulentFDS Newbie75 points76 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh, I feel this so hard! I regret not leaving my ex husband sooner. I already did everything and took care of his lazy ass too. I'm glad she got out. It is easier without them.

[–]viellFDS Newbie66 points67 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

YES. This is it. My best friend split up from the father of her daughter when she was a baby, and she was like "it's really not harder, I'm doing the same things as I was before but I finally don't have to put up with him". The only problem she had was that he didn't want to pay child support and she had to take him to court for that. Some dads don't even want to do the bare minimum.

[–]looking-for-freedom1FDS Newbie17 points18 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Most of them pretending they care about their kids but when is time to send the check they disappear. I don’t know it is like they think the moms are going to pamper themself with the little money they give to their kids.

[–]chatrebelleFDS Newbie11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

And they pretend they take care of the kid as well to justify not paying child support, even though if the kids stayed with him more than one weekend it would probably get sick.

[–]looking-for-freedom1FDS Newbie6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s right! My husband is a great father but horrible husband and I’m looking forward to sign the papers. This community has opened my eyes and give me the courage that I didn’t have.

[–][deleted] 57 points58 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is true for me too! It’s cheaper and easier.

[–]penandfeatherFDS Newbie57 points58 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

No kids here, but recently divorced. When I first left him, a friend told me “there will be things that you’ll have to figure put how to do on your own, but you’ll get through.”

The only things I could think of that he used to do for me that I couldn’t necessarily do on my own were open jars and reach stuff on high shelves. I took care of everything else (not that he did NOTHING but he had to he nagged to do anything that would disrupt his busy schedule of gaming, smoking weed, spending the money I earned and feeling sorry for himself)

[–]ArcaiiFDS Newbie20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah and there are stepping stools and jar openers you can buy so like 5 extra bucks and you can do that yourself too lol Or you can get one of those little hand weight things. I used those for a few months and I swear I had the grip of a fucking viking XD

[–]tellmesomething11FDS Apprentice16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If I can’t open a jar I take it downstairs to my doorman. He’s never complained lol!! I bought a stool for the high stuff.

[–]ScrappleSandwichesFDS Newbie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Folding fitted sheets.

[–]tellmesomething11FDS Apprentice49 points50 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Can confirm. When I divorced my ex, my life became so much better. I did all these tasks anyway, and I also cleaned up and took care of my ex. Losing that responsibility became so much easier. I have way more money, I don’t feel guilty about buying myself clothing, and I don’t have to take care of a bum.

I actually don’t mind cleaning up and taking care of my daughters...they are a part of me and I love them. But I hated, hated HATED taking care of my ex. He would be mad that I didn’t dress super nice, but literally all my money went towards bills. It’s crazy how much I have now🙄

[–]WchijafmFDS Newbie29 points30 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Also running around cleaning and tidying up for hours while the other parent sits on their ass playing video games or playing on their phone is a whole new level of stress, anger, resentment and exhaustion.

[–]tellmesomething11FDS Apprentice18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes! It was constant and never stopped. Also I would clean the kitchen and then use the bathroom, I’d come back out and my ex would have finished a two liter and threw the bottle on the kitchen floor. Then he would sigh heavily when I complained because he was on playing on his phone. The rage I felt back then was huge. Huge. Happened all the time.

[–]atuanFDS Newbie44 points45 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It is ten times easier to be a single mom than a coparent with someone who makes you do all the work AND argues with you and stops you from getting that work done.

[–]SpaceC4seFDS Newbie27 points28 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

And then blames you for the fallout of the aforementioned

[–]atuanFDS Newbie15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely. I'm blamed for things not working, which they would if I were dealing with someone cooperative and rational. Also a lot of men don't understand children and have no emotional intelligence and are arrogant and think that weird quick fixes for controlling behavior are appropriate instead of understanding the nuance of how to care for children.

[–]DV_throwaway19675FDS Newbie37 points38 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I need to add something else: parenting and unconditionally loving actual toddlers can be a challenge but is also so rewarding becuase they grow and flourish under your care and you can see how your loving care is making them into the person they are. And you can literally see the changes they go thought and how your parenting affects them in a matter of days or weeks.

Parenting an unconditionally loving a man-toddler is like throwing your care and love into a black hole of hopelessness. They need the same or more love than your actual children but they never grow, they never develop into better people and the move you give they more they want to suck out of you. Some of them will claim that they change eventually with enough love and consideration but if you compare their rate of change with the rate of change and growth of a real child it's pretty damn obvious the men are standing still.

[–]SpaceC4seFDS Newbie14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Some of them will claim that they change eventually with enough love and consideration

Which is part of the grift, since they won't be able to get away with fulfilling so few responsibilities if they do man up and (all by themselves) decide to change

[–]gothicctemptressFDS Newbie5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

And this is why I love being a single mum, hate being in a relationship.

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Relationships suck.

[–]ArcaiiFDS Newbie42 points43 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

This is why so many women are saying fuck it and staying single, or divorcing the ones they got. Men are saying THEY are the ones doing this, because they're sick of "women's" shit. It's actually the other way around. They say they're mgtow when they're actually either dumped or an incel.

Women are the ones going their own way, men are just acting like it's them cause they don't want to admit whats really going on. That they're being rejected and are not needed. Not only are they not needed, they're often a burden. But it infuriates me that they think they're the ones who do it all. Nothing women do is seen as valuable. I think there's a reason that working mothers raise sons who respect women more. Men don't respect you unless you're out earning an income. That's the only form of work they believe is real effort, no matter the reality of it. You can sit on your ass all day in front of a computer, but if you're getting a paycheck that SOMEHOW is harder than being on your feet all day completing dozens upon dozens of tasks for several other people that last until late at night?

Which is why anything related to children or housework is pushed on us. It's the duties of the "lesser" beings. They think they're above that, and they think it's so easy and menial. Probably why they don't actually care to help. And probably why they don't actually recognize this is why so many women divorce them.

[–]terrn1981FDS Newbie11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The stats are something like 80 percent of women initiate divorce. This is why.

[–]souredskittlesFDS Disciple5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

🤯 And a lot of these women were grown to believe that you give it your all to make it work even if it’s futile and they still get to the point of “fuck it”

[–]WchijafmFDS Newbie5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]mermaid_sneaky_eyes35 points36 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I have a friend on Instagram who I went to middle school with. We are both now 27. She got pregnant at 17 and while pregnant, her boyfriend gets locked up. He gets out when she is about 20-21 and they get married. Shortly after she gets pregnant again.

She messaged me before the birth of her daughter and told me her husband wouldn’t let her work or got to school. Now a few years later, she’s a stay at home mom still who has never worked or gone to school. I don’t even think she graduated high school.

A few weeks ago she posted on her IG stories her whole morning routine. She wakes up with her husband at 4 am to start his shower, pack his lunch, and start his truck! She does everything for the man child. She said in her stories that this life may not be for everyone but she lives a struggle free life, i was like sis....you do live a struggled life!

I think she tries to justify it to convince herself this is what she wanted, but its not. When we were in school she was the spoiled girl who came from money and had dreams and aspirations for her future. She also posted how she has to stay up late to do her husband’s laundry so he can go to work in fresh clothes.

I can’t think of anything more horrible then being married to someone like this and have no identity whatsoever.

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's, Stockholm Syndrome....and my idea of hell.

[–]looking-for-freedom1FDS Newbie5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Omg not even a maid work that hard! This is so sad.

[–]ItsFreezenFDS Newbie36 points37 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I came across a married Youtuber who said without saying it. That she goes to bed late because if she gone to bed at the same time her husband does she would be coerced into having sex with him.

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]souredskittlesFDS Disciple2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]nonchalance77FDS Newbie24 points25 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

There isn’t a man alive I would trust enough to make another human with. Sad, I know. I’m glad that ship has sailed for me.

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Makes perfect sense.

[–][deleted] 116 points117 points  (21 children) | Copy Link

What is "packing my husband's lunch"? I've never heard of that before. I know what all those words mean individually, but put them together and it becomes gibberish.

It's like pickmes are from another planet.

Edit: my boyfriend packed me a nice lunch for work yesterday. Made sure I got up in time for work and made coffee for me. Lol I'm a douche bag.

[–]moonartemis1989FDS Newbie80 points81 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

trust me from where i come from its seen as a sacred wifey duty, my mom has done this for my dad his whole life . it doesnt make sense to me either

[–]Ghost_namesakeFDS Newbie77 points78 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I think it's a relic from when the mothers packed their children's lunch to send them off to school, they did the same for their husband since they were already putting together lunches. It's not appropriate unless there is a division of chores, such as she is making lunches while he's getting the children dressed or serving them breakfast.

[–]WchijafmFDS Newbie29 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's not appropriate unless one person is the home maker and the other is the SOLE earner. Which is rare nowadays.

But men are quick to point out when they are the "Pimary" earner. Ok buddy. Unless your family can comfortably live off just your income, cut it with the primary earner BS. She quits and your both up shits creek. Stop invalidating her contributions.

[–]moonartemis1989FDS Newbie26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

yeah i agree with you

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Wild! My parents are traditional misogynists in most ways, but mom never packed dad's lunch. And when I was a kid, my dad made my lunch as often as my mom did.

[–]moonartemis1989FDS Newbie19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

its nice to see they were equal paarents to you, my dad was a lvm but he was always a great father to me and my brother

[–]FitncurlyFDS Disciple22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I used to do this. Wouldn’t you know that I got treated with less respect then than now? I used to do all the submissive wifey bullshit years ago, but after that all wasn’t appreciated the way it should’ve been I pulled a 180 and went ice queen. I love him, so I’m not mean, just no bs and no unearned sweetness from me. I get treated better than ever...interesting little phenomenon.

[–]moonartemis1989FDS Newbie6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

interesting it is , I like everything worked well for you. Also the older I grow the more i realise the more we women stop giving a fuck and do what we want the more we prosper

[–]LevelTurbulentFDS Newbie20 points21 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yep, this was how I was raised too. Women who didn't do it for their husbands were seen as garbage.

It's easy for people to mock it and insult it but when you're raised like that and surrounded by it, it's something that needs to be addressed and broken. And when everyone around you is saying you're a piece of sh*t if you don't do it, you aren't going to break it until you get away from all those people.

[–]moonartemis1989FDS Newbie2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

its getting more obvious to me that this world will mock you for being yourself and not "serving your man" even if they dont process what is happening at all. even if they would have never done the things they want you to do if they were in your shoes. i have a friend whose mom went back to work after her kids were old enough and her whole family shit on her . if she was a man they wouldnt have dared but they did because they could

[–]LevelTurbulentFDS Newbie1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Good for her, that's so shitty her family wasn't supportive. I feel like so many people are just ready to tell us anything we do is wrong, no matter what it is. We may as well do what we want. I've cut so many people off now and if the ones i still allow in my life criticize they get a "If this is a problem for you, it's a YOU problem and I don't want to hear it." and they shut up. I should've started doing that two decades ago though.

[–]moonartemis1989FDS Newbie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's such a good way to shut them up . And it's never to late . Honestly take Taylor Swift for example . People just shit on her because she dates around ,is hot ,writes songs about her exes which ALL MALE SINGERS DO. But if she did it she is some whore . That's why I don't get why women hate her . Lvm hating her makes sense cause she drags them in her songs then wins loads of awards and makes loads of money lol. people just can't stand a beautiful ,smart, talented and rich woman.

[–]mostly_ok_nowFDS Newbie10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I had a coworker whose wife packed him a healthy (and delicious) lunch every day, and she worked full time too. She did it because he was MASSIVE and had a severe auto immune disorder. He would eat a couple fast food meals throughout the day and then DUMP OUT his healthy lunch in the trash at work so he could tell her he ate it. She eventually took his credit cards and gave him a $20 weekly cash allowance for emergencies only to try to curb it. I WOULD NEVER put up with that shit.

[–]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My dad had high blood pressure and after he had a stroke and became disabled, my mom would cook everything salt less and from scratch. Really took the time and used a lot of herbs to make it tasty. We would all eat that shit to be supportive.

Turned out that he was secretly adding salt in the kitchen and ordered his driver to deliver him fast food when my mom wasn’t around. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

How humiliating for her.

[–]LucysFakeTitsFDS Newbie26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would do it for my husband when he worked at a jail as a CO. He would work 12-14+ hours a day 6 days a week and I enjoyed helping him out. However, the mornings the baby was a handful and I couldn't or didn't want to do it he would take care of himself. I guess thats the difference though. I CHOOSE to do things for my husband because I care about him and he shows me how much he appreciates and cares about me. We support and love each other equally. Now that he has a much more relaxed job i do way less.

[–]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's kinda normal in my country as well. There's no school lunch and most adults bring their own lunch to work too. It's usually sandwiches.

[–]HumanAdhesiveness360FDS Newbie23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My former friend Japanese housewife, who served rice and stood by waiting for instruction, making lunches, homeschooling 3 kids. Made cute Instagram sandwiches. Well now, shes ended up cheating on her husband twice. Got pregnant twice, kept one. With a pimp baby daddy who tortured her physically and emotionally for years, only to end up in a shelter. And continue getting tortured in court. HORRIBLE. Dont be a pickme. Please know your worth

[–]OpenCelebration3FDS Newbie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I learned my lesson. Used to make food for one of my exes and he wouldn’t even eat it he would just eat out. Ungrateful . Never again lol

[–]ScallionOk958FDS Newbie20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This guy got massages on top of all the shit he made her deal with alone?? He still got sex when he wanted it?? Helllll no

Good for her for leaving his dead weight! #kickhimout2020

[–]terrn1981FDS Newbie20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men enjoy the part of feminism where women bring home money now, but haven't grasped the part where they have to actually do their share of the family life. Life has actually gotten harder and more stressful for women since fighting for our rights.. wonder if men will ever catch up.

[–]FrizzycattThrowaway Account19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

When my mom was married to my sperm donor back in.. 1989 she was 19 years old and he was 23? They had planned to have a family together planned to have me and while pregnant my sperm donor of a father was attending college not working as my mom worked 2 jobs and came home to clean and cook for him while pregnant. 6 months into the pregnancy in the parking lot at his school he broke up with her in the car saying he wanted a divorce because she wasn't being the best wife she could possibly be. My mom devastated crying in the car wondering what just happened what she did wrong sees said sperm donor hugging and kissing another woman. This man kicked her out.. and claimed the kid probably wasn't even his in the first place. Needless to say this gave him an excuse to be absent.

He never changed either.. he knocked up the woman he cheated on my mom with and was even worse to them even after he divorced her.. then he had another woman whom he knocked up same shit another year.. Now he's onto another and we'll see how that turns out. He's 50 something and I talked to him once a couple years ago and he still thinks he did nothing wrong and blamed my mom for everything.

Oh forgot to say 29 years later the dna test I took for fun did confirm he was my sperm donor.

[–]dutchie19FDS Newbie16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Amen, that was my marriage. I did it all then, I do it all now, but my child and I have a way stronger bond because I'm not running on empty ALL THE TIME. Yes the stress of divorce, moving, it was all terrible at the time, but it was so worth it now!!

[–]looking-for-freedom1FDS Newbie3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Congratulation queen! You did it👸🏻

[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


A lot of women are stuck in awful situationships like this and it baffles me.


How’s this “life” any easier than being single? How? How is it an upgrade over being single?

[–]siennapeachesFDS Newbie12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m so happy for her! Her ex sounded exactly like another one of her kids, making her watch YouTube videos about cars... wtf

[–]cwfs1007FDS Newbie9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes! People ask me all the time if it was hard to live alone after breaking up with my boyfriend. NOPE. Less dishes, less laundry, less to clean up and cook, and the bills didn't increase because he wasn't paying them. Which is why I kicked him out and found peace!

[–]CrazyPaineFDS Newbie11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That getting on top thing did it for me. God. I was in an abusive and controlling relationship with an nex. After I worked 10 hours, commuted for a good hour or 2 hours to get home then I expected to get on top. I snapped at him for always coercing me into sex which I no longer enjoyed with him tbh. He almost punched me for calling him the b word, but he really was. I was so exhausted and tired and he couldn't understand that whatsoever. I'm glad I was able to get out and not have any kids by that man tbh.

[–]carolizine24 points25 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Not a mom but when I was with my LVM and begging him to please help out around MY house more (I paid the bills too, yep) he flat out told me “you’d be doing the same amount of work if I wasn’t here so what’s the difference?”

That’s really when I knew...but sadly I stayed another year after that 🤮🤦🏻‍♀️

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Christ, what a fucking dumb thing to say. Idiot. Glad he's your ex.

[–]mistybuttock9921 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow the comments and so many similar stories :( So sad. Also - she is beautiful! Reminds me of Beth from Queens Gambit.

[–]stxrchildFDS Newbie10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My aunt in a nutshell. She is 10x happier now that she’s not doing all the extra chores the woman in the video mentioned, in addition to cleaning up vomit, waking up in a wet bed, being expected to have sex with someone who can barely stand up, and having to search the house for hidden beer and Percocet.

[–]Pudding5050Pickmeisha™️10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If he doesn't do his part what's even the point. Then he's just more work.

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's basically it. What she said about her ex husband reminded me of all my exes. Happy to be here now.

[–]gummmybeanThrowaway Account7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I felt like a weight lifted off my back for this girl

[–]lessadessaFDS Newbie8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

God bless this woman.

[–]HircinesHandmaidenFDS Newbie7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

OMG her statement about car YouTube. I feel that in my soul.

[–]bigiftrues7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I saw this original tiktok vid earlier on my fyp and god... the comments made my heartbreak. So many women put up with this shit, it’s insane

[–]favoritesoundFDS Newbie8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh hey, just saw a post in another subreddit about this. Top comment said basically the same thing: being a single mother is easier than her life when married to the NVM father. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/kb8eta/whats_it_like_as_a_single_parent/

[–]missisabelarcherFDS Apprentice6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Being a single mom isn't easy. But in all honesty it is waaaaaaaaay better than taking of a real child with the burden of a man-toddler.

I was already doing the majority of housework and childcare. And after exhausting myself "balancing" work in addition to all of that, I was also expected to have sex on demand without any romance, connection or intimacy? And then deal with gaslighting, blaming and neglect on top (lol) of all this? With not even any appreciation, attention or affection? The real question is why I put up with it for so long.

The truth is that being a single mom gave me back my life, my energy and my vitality. It's not easy but if you can take care of yourself financially, it is much more feasible -- and parenting has been way more fun and joyful -- without the dead weight of a LVM to carry.

[–]Solution_OutrageousFDS Newbie6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Girl preeeaachh. I love being a single mom. The only thing I miss about living with my ex is splitting the rent, but even now I get to say everything I pay for I earn myself!

[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wondering if it's hard for the divorced fathers to hear how useless many of them are.

[–]amievenreal99FDS Apprentice5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A man will expect you to take care of the child, give up your career, do his household, please him after work, too. He will then proceed to leave you for a younger one or "because he has so much responsibility with you after you ask him to take out the trash once", and complain if you ask for financial support for the child, because him being expected to send 50 bucks for his child living with their mum is "a woman being a golddigger". Of course, it is fully expected that she will, after she gave up on her career for him, then proceed to being not only a single mum, but poor too, because why hire a woman in her 40s with a 5 year gap in her résumé. And of course, it was expected of her to sacrifice her career for him to be able to work, because she is only there to support him, not the other way around. Women are slaves. Of course, this is in addition to the everyday disrespect, insults and abuse she is exposed to coming from him.

Now there are women who see how this is a bad trade, and would rather not have any family at all, or just be single mums, over being slaves to grown-up men. And men will get angry about these women not "giving them sex" and proceed to commit mass-shootings.

And for some reason, all of this has been accepted as completely normal.

Unfortunately, none of this is going to change, unless either no women at all put up with this bullshit anymore, or we start an actual revolution. But seeing how Tinder and OLD encourage women to be ready booty calls for lov value scrotes and women happily doing so, and other women being "empathetic" towards men killing, raping, abusing us and "understanding" the "misandry" accusation of rapists, killers and abusers and giving in to them, I can't see that happening anytime soon.

[–]miss_tokieFDS Newbie16 points17 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

My ex thinks that once he gets his shit together (I dont see that even happening because he already has 2 boys age 7&9 with 2 other women that won't let him around) that I am gonna move in with him so he can "spend his days with the kids and die happy". Even though I have gently and firmly told him no, I will never live under the same roof as him again. I dont even feel comfortable being alone with him because he has RAPED me. No way will I be his pretend housewife so he can see his kid at HIS own convenience and put in the least amount of effort. Get off your ass and get a job, (disability is not getting him anywhere and he is able to work), and get your life together if you want your daughter. 'Terminal' cancer or not, I will not be manipulated anymore.

Once he found out I was looking into online classes, he started flipping out cause that will make me one step closer to my independence and not have to be used by him anymore for his narcissistic supply.

[–]gothicctemptressFDS Newbie12 points13 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

My abusive ex was disabled too. This is why he got away with it. No wonder Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein gave that tack a whirl!

[–]miss_tokieFDS Newbie7 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Exactly! Also helps that they had status. I'm sorry your ex did that to you, though I'm happy he is an ex now!

My ex uses the "C Card" (his words) any chance he gets. I get it to some degree, but not when you're just using or screwing over others for your own benefit.

[–]gothicctemptressFDS Newbie9 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for introducing me to a genuinely pleasant new experience: being glad about someone dying of cancer. Couldn't have happened to a nicer fellow 😂

[–]miss_tokieFDS Newbie7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Oh, I know. When he floats around lying to everyone that he is the "only person alive with this rare type of cancer" I want to say, "not for long"!

[–]gothicctemptressFDS Newbie6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Please tell me it started in his dick or ball bag and that's what he lost first. Guess all those years of gifting his knob rot to all the victims he raped must have finally paid off.😂

[–]miss_tokieFDS Newbie4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Hah! Unfortunately no.. it's a nerve cancer so he feels like he is on fire most of the time so we can find relief in that at least.

[–]gothicctemptressFDS Newbie6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Looks like there is a God after all. Could it be retribution for the women's nerves he's been getting on all his life? Your life sounds like the plot for a black comedy. Write an hilarious book about it. You could be sitting on a goldmine. Plus, it would have an important message for women that there is no excuse for abuse no matter what state of health or misfortunes her abuser has. It will let victims know that we're not horrible just because we noticed the abuse and the perpetrator has a disability.

[–]miss_tokieFDS Newbie5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wouldn't even know where to begin! I do have plenty of crazy stories and have been through enough to write a few books so I might just try that.

[–]caramealsFDS Newbie6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Off topic, but she's so beautiful!!!

[–]GalilgrlCA5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have never related to a post more in my life!

I divorced my man-child husband over 11 years ago for the same reasons. I did everything for our two sons as well as worked full time earning all of the money for the household while he “tried” to hold a job for more than a few weeks at a time until he finally gave up pretending and called himself a stay-at-home-dad who refused to do any of the actual duties of that job. He would take all of our money out of the bank as soon as I got paid so he had cash and I would never see any of it, I had to clean up the considerable mess he left in his wake along with all of the household and car maintenance (lawn, snow removal, general maintenance and repairs). I was so exhausted all the time and living on autopilot, never happy because I was just trying to survive.

The day I got rid of him was the happiest day of my life. A huge weight was lifted and I was back in control of my own life, and I’m still happy! I’ve been single since (maybe because I’m afraid of letting someone in and having that same miserable lifestyle repeat, but hey, at least I can admit it!)...

The biggest bonus of getting rid of the extra baggage though has been my kids. They actually get to see me as a happy, fun, loving, caring mom instead of the walking zombie just trying to make it through the day person I had become. If I can’t show my kids how to be happy through example, how will they ever learn to make the decisions for their own life to be happy?

Thank you so much for posting this and showing women out there who may be struggling through the same issues and situations that they don’t have to live like that. We have infinitely more power than we often allow ourselves to believe.

[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist[M] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This video is truth and fire. 🔥 The scrotes are mad and reporting like crazy.

[–]UnapologeticWifeFDS Newbie3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This one hit home 🙌🏼

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The kids kept me in an abusive marriage for years.

[–]looking-for-freedom1FDS Newbie2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was a lurker on FDS from my old account but unfortunately other subreddit users will harass you if they find out that you are part of FDS community. I finally decided to open a new account because I need the support, knowledge and good advice from this sub. I’m going through a divorce and I hope we can get along and continue co-parenting without that much problems.

[–]justforfdsFDS Newbie2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good on you. I wish I'd realized earlier I could just leave!

[–]FDSxMuffinVSrat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He was basically a liability.

[–]wigsnatcher42Pickmeisha™️1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yep. I noticed this as a child (thanks, church Aunties), which is why I stay single and childfree.

It's also why so many men are threatened by women who are single and childfree lol

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m not even a single mom and I feel that

[–]LevelupmamaFDS Newbie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Tbh I feel this. Most relationships feel like trash and having a kid to take care of plus life, is hard enough.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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