Stay woke

tiavarga · 2020-08-05T16:48:58+00:00

Straight.Facts. 👏 I’m a direct person so I would always ask men that were pulling away or doing the “slow fade” to tell me straight-up if they weren’t feeling it or liked someone else so I could move on. (Before I learned to just Block and Delete.) EVERY SINGLE MAN straight up lied to me and gave me excuses like they were busy or other such nonsense. I still ended up getting ghosted, even though I gave them the option of telling me the truth and being a decent person.

Also remember that most men don’t consider lying by omission lying. “Baby, you never asked if I was sleeping with her behind your back. I didn’t lie!”

lluuni · 2020-08-05T16:57:32+00:00

It’s funny because men generally love saying hurtful things. They view it as being “realistic”, “logical”, “savage”, and “intelligent”. But then suddenly they pretend to be empathetic when they don’t want you to react to something they did. It’s all to serve themselves in the end.

myousername · 2020-08-05T16:27:15+00:00

Ohhh my fucking god this is so true. A great example is men who ride motorcycles.

In couples where the man rides and the woman doesn't, she usually wants to be the #1 priority in his life, but in his mind the bike will always come first, sometimes even above his own children if they have any.

I wish more guys would just straight-up tell her that the bike will always be #1 and let her make the choice of whether or not she wants that type of relationship. But they never do, instead they just say or don't say whatever they need to keep her around for sex, cooking, cleaning, and raising his kids for him.

This dynamic is the basis of many jokes in the moto world: "my girlfriend asked which would I choose: her or the bike? I told her not to ask questions where she won't like the answer!" or middle aged divorced men whining "my bitch ex-wife wouldn't let me buy a new Harley, she forced me to buy a crossover for taking the kids to soccer practice, pity me!"

Now, I ride too, and although I absolutely love it, it's just a fun hobby and a form of transportation. Whereas for a lot of male riders, it is literally their whole life and reason for existing, the only thing that brings them joy. Motorcycles will always be their one true love, their "therapy", their everything.

Once, I was on a ride with an ex (I was a passenger) and he lost traction and slid off the road. Instead of making sure I was ok, he went over to the bike FIRST to check the damage, turn the engine off, pull it upright and onto the road. Then he was like "oh right I had a passenger" as an afterthought, and came over to the ditch I was lying in to see if I was alright (I wasn't) then immediately reverted his attention back to his bike while dialing 911.

Later, I was ugly crying at him, arguing like "you don't even care about me! You love the bike more! You would have let me die on the side of the road! Would you even mourn my death or would you just grieve over the scratched fairings??!?!!" and he totally bullshitted me saying "baby of course I love and care about you, but also, you're making a big deal out of nothing, you weren't gonna die, just had some road rash and bruises, I care more about my passengers than my own life, blah blah blah." I broke up with him that night because his actions spoke louder than his words.

I believe that they are like this because they want a devoted woman who treats him like her #1 priority, but they don't want to have to do the same for her. They just want the "use of a woman" and refuse to be honest about their priorities because they know we would leave them if they told the truth.

DelicateDream · 2020-08-05T14:38:27+00:00

Men always look out for #1. It doesn’t matter how “HV” they are or how much they claim to love you, at the end of the day their all looking out for #1 even if it goes directly against your well-being.

TallBlondeBitch · 2020-08-05T18:09:53+00:00

Yep! My ex got a “happy ending” massage when he traveled to SE Asia last year with some buddies. Didn’t tell me about it until after we had already broken up and I specifically asked if he had done that. He said he didn’t say anything at the time because it was a “grey area” and he knew it would just upset me. 🙄

I wish that he had told me immediately so that we could have broken up sooner.

zagreus8me · 2020-08-05T16:27:08+00:00

"I only lied because you always blow up or overreact and you're being stupid" everytime he's caught out lying.

TafahaDeTerre · 2020-08-05T16:51:39+00:00

Can you believe an ex sent this to me?! The audacity.

smilodon91 · 2020-08-05T18:30:00+00:00

Remember this... the car will come first, the bike will come first, the boat will come first, the house will come first, his family and friends will come first, his hobbies will come first.... and you will... never even make the list, even if you're married. (Trust me, I found out the hard way.) So make sure YOU are always at the top of your own list.

Also, men are not even aware of when they are lying. It's their default MO, and so see nothing wrong with it. So... trust eventually but never before verifying, verifying, verifying... then getting it in writing.

TheOGJammies · 2020-08-05T14:21:52+00:00

Say it louder for the people in the back!

oddcharm · 2020-08-05T16:06:38+00:00

It’s so true. I hate being lied to and then told it’s so that my feelings don’t get hurt... wtf do you think lying does?! ( and of course the lie is always about them doing something shitty that would hurt your feelings too!) That excuse is also so patronizing. Who is anyone to decide the truth is too much for someone to handle?

I’d actually respect people more if they just admitted they didn’t want to face the consequences of their actions but nope you’ll always have those manipulative assholes who pull out that excuse and pretend to care about you. If you really care about someone you’ll give them the respect of knowing the truth and letting them make their own decision based on that.

powerline2500 · 2020-08-05T13:51:34+00:00

Boop! 👏👏👏👏👏👏

ginnnnie · 2020-08-05T17:12:02+00:00

dude if only I could have put into words this exact information in my last relationship!!!!! #neverhonest #surprisediCouldnttrustHim

GlitteringContact8 · 2020-08-05T19:13:08+00:00

This 1000000x

seashellseashell52 · 2020-08-05T19:57:52+00:00

Woah. This just blew my mind

oasisreverie · 2020-08-05T23:06:17+00:00

Liars are cowards and manipulators.

mostdefinitelynturs · 2020-08-05T21:24:22+00:00

That's why I dont feel bad about my ex (before I knew the relationship was based on lies) having the taste of another man's dick in his mouth (before we were official but still) and he still couldn't get back with his kid's mom. You wanna treat me like shit and stick around? You're gonna suffer the same🤷🏾‍♀️

cafecontresleche · 2020-08-06T05:46:54+00:00

Facts! I never had the words to say this but when I was ‘babied’ as I called it back then I’d just say to tell me straight up and let me react however the fuck I was meant to. I’m grown enough to react how I please and think on what to do for myself.

the_researcher_ · 2020-08-06T10:57:08+00:00

This is true on such a global scale.

escapetodos · 2020-08-05T17:31:55+00:00

🙏🏻💋 stay gold

Title	Stay woke
Author	greatnesdbyamu
Upvotes	2767
Comments	52
Date	August 5, 2020 1:39 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/stay-woke.720729 https://theredarchive.com/post/720729
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/i45i90/stay_woke/