Third time he's done this and after many red flags, I am Done. (more info in comments)

Lost-Light · 2021-06-21T03:21:55+00:00

Where do I start.... We met two years ago and started dating a year in. I always just wanted to be his friend. I made it very clear that was always what I wanted. Stated that, "I need to learn to love myself" and "How can I love another when I don't even like myself." Well, I gave into his advances and let myself be in a relationship. I never gave him my heart because I never had it for myself. Then, came the flags I looked away from. He kept bringing up sex and fetishes despite my clear dislike for those discussions. He kept badgering me about saying "I love you" despite my issues that I explained in depth with it. He was always a "Yes man." When I said something, he agreed. Always. So when he had a strong opinion on something (always sexual), I was more inclined to change my views on it. Additionally, one of the conversations we had as friends was whether or not he was an incel. Additionally, and a rather recent thing that was nearly the straw that broke the camels back, he said he would be pleased working a bare bones minimum wage job for the rest of his life while I work as both the breadwinner (going to go to school for sysadmin) and the homemaker/caretaker. Another thing that showed me how sheerly porn-sick he was was his views as lesbians being just a fetish. I mentioned that a character that I was writing could get into a poly-amorous relationship with two other women, and his argument (that he defended) was that it was inherently sexual because they were women. He nearly got me to convince myself that it was alright for him to sexualize me. He wanted me to discuss my own feelings and yet minimized them when I did. Couldn't even bother to pretend to comfort me when I came to him for some sort of sympathy when a close friend died hours before. I hope he remembers that I never wanted this, and that this failure of a relationship is doing nothing but hurting him.

tl;dr. I got into a relationship I didn't want, rose colored glasses vs red flags, too much red and I am done. Not sad about it.