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This is what male entitlement looks like. In response to WhY DoN't YoU WoMeN JuSt CoMmUnIcAtE MoRe. Men don't freaking listen.

March 19, 2021
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Title This is what male entitlement looks like. In response to WhY DoN't YoU WoMeN JuSt CoMmUnIcAtE MoRe. Men don't freaking listen.
Author Lavender_flow
Upvotes 2283
Comments 71
Date March 19, 2021 9:46 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
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[–]catlady4uFDS Newbie 102 points103 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

And then they will gaslight you with 'at least I tried' completely missing the point.

[–][deleted] 183 points184 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Or, he knew it was strawberry and gave her banana out of spite. Another reason communication doesn't work: even when they listen, they don't care.

[–][deleted] 119 points120 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I'm wondering if maybe his favorite was strawberry and she always got more of the banana ones so that's why he remembered it as her favorite.

[–]yolosunshine 47 points48 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is the deep thinking I’m interested in because it’s true to dynamics I’ve observed.

[–]Colour_riotFDS Newbie 70 points71 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I mean, so long as he's getting what he wants, she must be happy with whatever she's getting right?


[–][deleted] 72 points73 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

My ex would absolutely have spun this on me. He saw all the concessions I made in the relationship as my personal decisions. So if I ate all the banana taffies one round I wouldn't get more strawberry next time, because I "chose the banana last time and he chose strawberry this time."

No, asshole, I didn't "choose" banana, I accepted it on the assumption that we would share the banana burden and strawberry sweetness.

They'll push you down into accepting something and then won't accept responsibility for it by claiming it was your free choice.

[–]Colour_riotFDS Newbie 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree. It's give and take but somehow they always say "nice of you to give this, but y'know, it doesn't really matter."

[–][deleted] 228 points229 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

I stopped reading at 'ziploc bag'

[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple 160 points161 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Men own no wrapping paper, gift bags, ribbon, or bows for gifts. They’ll hand you a nice sweater in a grocery store bag and call it Christmas. 🙄

Lurking scrotes: they have bags, bows, ribbons and gift paper at a place called The Dollar Store. You can get extra toothbrushes and cleaning supplies there, too.

You’re welcome and now you have no excuse.

[–][deleted] 107 points108 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Lol my ex asked what I wanted for Christmas gift in a grocery store, in the hair care aisle, the day before Christmas. I pointed at a hair conditioner finally, he paid for it, then on the way home he asked if he had to wrap it since I already knew what it was.

Romance 🥰

[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple 49 points50 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Damn, what a prick. 🥺 I hope you told everyone he knows and pretends to be a great guy in front of that he gave you hair conditioner from the grocery store for Christmas. Shine a light on that garbage behavior for the whole world to see. ☀️

[–][deleted] 44 points45 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Didn’t tell anyone of his friends or family, but told all of mine and now that I broke things off, all of my family collectively blocked and deleted him too 🥰 we FDS-ed him as a team, and he’s been trying to reach out to many of my family members in other ways but they just reply no when he asks to talk to them and then block him. My family is the absolute bomb 🥰

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

He asked you in the grocery store so he wasn't tasked with trying to remember what you asked for

The bar is in earth's core

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And it was such an afterthought for him: “damn, need to get her a gift, all stores are closed today except for the grocery store, which aisle contains stuff that girls like? Bingo, hair care. Just have her pick something, perfect, then that’s done.”

Little did he know that gift giving is my love language and that the effort behind the gift is what makes me feel loved 🙃 he literally would’ve made me feel more loved if he simply didn’t get me anything, now he made me feel like a nuisance. Fuck him and his low effort.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is what we should be telling young girls about what having a boyfriend is like, not fairy tales.

Let them know the reality so that they don't think men are a prize.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Doesnt even need to wrap it which infuriates me! They won't even get one of those lil holographic paper bags with the tag on them, stuff with a bit of tissue paper and put the gift in there

[–]notallowed2havepizzaFDS Newbie 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Scrote: Nope. I’m just gonna pretend that I didn’t hear that. jams fingers into ears like a kid who’s trying not to hear after it’s already being said

[–]WinterDoughnutFDS Newbie 158 points159 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Told my ex all the time I like flowers. One year into knowing him (after a breakup in between) i finally get fed up after telling him TWICE before Valentine’s that I wanted flowers. I basically tell him in an annoyed tone that I can’t be with someone who doesn’t listen to me and isn’t romantic. “Wow, you get so aggressive!” 🙄

Before I met him up for our next date he texted me saying he didn’t have time to get flowers that day but that he wOuLD “later this week.”

Too bad he was too shady for us to ever get to the date he promised he’d get me flowers. I was too tired of dealing with him and broke things off. So many things contributed to the breakup but I should have seen this for the MASSIVE red flag it was.

[–]huevos_and_whiskeyFDS Newbie 94 points95 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Now he’s probably going around telling some sob story about how you broke up with him on Valentines day. /smh

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

"My ex was so materialistic all she cared about was money" 🥴

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I am ENRAGED for you.

What a complete fucking shitbag of a person.

[–]WinterDoughnutFDS Newbie 13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

One day I might type all the BS this one man put me through because I was a 🤡

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Girl. Same. I can't even tell my friends bc they haven't been treated that way for whatever reason so they feel that it's my fault somehow.

[–]rsoko2FDS Newbie 74 points75 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I literally had to tell my ex like 10 times that I didnt particularly like dark chocolate. He would talk about buying me sweets and add "I know you prefer dark chocolate". Uh no I don't. But yeah the shittiest part is that he never once actually surprised me with the chocolates, he'd only talk about it.

[–]Lavender_flowFDS Apprentice[S] 49 points50 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Classic abusive behavior. It is like future faking, but another aspect of it. It is brought up in the book I have talked about so much, it is TYPICAL behavior of a covert narcissist and it is ABUSIVE. You just don't notice it the same.

[–]reallyuglypuppiesFDS Newbie 12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

That or they're only half listening and just hear "dark chocolate" and think " oh she loves dark chocolate". (Still a shit partner because they don't actually listen to what you say.)

But as an example:

The other day my male friend/housemate(?? We live on a ranch together) was picking up beer for me and asked what I wanted. I said "anything but tecate". He comes back with...Tecate. he is an absolute sweetheart and I know it wasn't on purpose. Just wasn't actually listening.

[–]rsoko2FDS Newbie 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I know men like that lmao. Poor listening is something I can work with. My ex literally just didnt care. He displayed it in virtually every way, not just poor listening. Your housemate sounds quite sweet lol.

[–]reallyuglypuppiesFDS Newbie 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He really is! We've been friends a long time, and he is besties with my partner too so its nice. Was a real facepalm moment tho haha

[–]SkiesEclipseFDS Apprentice 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Reminds me of my dad. All through my parents’ marriage, he’d always ask my mom what her favourite flowers were. She loved sunflowers, daffodils, and carnations. What did he give her every single time? A dozen red roses. His logic? They are the most expensive, so they are better.

He did the same with jewelry. Would buy her this insanely expensive jewelry for her birthday or Valentine’s Day. Guess who doesn’t wear jewelry? My mom. Then he’d complain that she never wore the jewelry he got her. I’m sorry, you can’t exactly whip out a heavy ruby necklace to get the groceries, dad.

There’s a reason they’re divorced lol.

[–]shelballamaFDS Newbie 238 points239 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Hahaha what a fail. Imagine being that poor gal, probably very unsurprising to her. Also, laffy taffy? That's the best he can do?

[–]Simulated4YouFDS Newbie 201 points202 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

It sounds like something my toddler nephew would do, tbh. "Sorry i messed up, here's the dessert my mommy packed in my lunchbox. They're all banana because I dont like those."

[–]shelballamaFDS Newbie 60 points61 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Dude, exactly this. Could not have painted a better picture than you just did. Just looked up the price: a single laffy taffy goes for about a buck, and a CASE goes for $12. What a grand gesture

[–]Simulated4YouFDS Newbie 71 points72 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

And the fact that they were in a ziplock makes me feel like they came in a multi flavor bag that was picked clean of others. 😂 Gunna be honest, this gesture would insult me more than if I just got a bag of assorted halloween candy.

[–]Prestigious_Spray_34FDS Newbie 31 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly... he doesn’t like the banana flavored ...

[–]Cross_Stitch_WitchFDS Newbie 126 points127 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

My cat left a partially eaten squirrel on my doorstep and that is infinitely more impressive than this.

[–][deleted] 58 points59 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Let's see the ex catch a squirrel with his bare hands lol

[–]Cross_Stitch_WitchFDS Newbie 19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy Link


[–]atreegrowsinbrixtonFDS Newbie 17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

ah yes, a gift that actually shows EFFORT AND HARD WORK

[–]EricaeatscarrotsFDS Newbie 88 points89 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Banana flavor is always the leftovers

[–]gcthwyFDS Apprentice 21 points22 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Exactly lmao banana laffy taffy is trash, it’s easily the worst flavor

[–]sashimi_girlFDS Newbie 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I love banana tbh but I still find it creepy he dropped off candy at her house after a breakup

[–]HalfJapaneseDollFDS Newbie 72 points73 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I saw that post! The kicker was that it was actually his favourite flavour! The absolute audacity that men have...

[–]Cross_Stitch_WitchFDS Newbie 18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He really thought he did something. 😅

[–]hurhahFDS Newbie 20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This reminds me when my former BF surprised me on 2 occasions (only twice in 5 years). One morning i wasn’t feeling well and he bought me my “fave” mocha latte (I drink plain coffee lol) and another time he bought me my fave thai dish when I got in after a late flight (wrong dish). I didn’t correct him because I thought it was close enough and very sweet. I remember being in awe that someone even brought me something to my door...

[–]Lavender_flowFDS Apprentice[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Im sorry, you absolutely deserved and deserve better!

[–]HottPinkSlugFDS Newbie 15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That is an act of aggression. NOBODY likes banana laffy taffy

[–]sugaredberryFDS Newbie 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow what cringe!

[–]Fatt3stAveng3rFDS Disciple 33 points34 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

lmao what a clowwwwn

[–]VillanellohFDS Newbie 25 points26 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

On her door step?

[–]relationship_redditFDS Newbie 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Communication is, without a doubt, BULLSHIT! I cOmMuNiCaTeD the same exact concerns with my exes literally HUNDREDS of times, and they would change for a week at the most. Nevermind that most of the shit you have to communicate to them is common fucking sense. Telling women to communicate is nothing more than an attempt to blame us for mens' failings.

[–]ChocolateBiscuit96FDS Newbie 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And that’s probably reason 104 why the relationship didn’t work.

What she said typically went in one ear and out the other. He doesn’t care - never have, never will.

[–]Ill_Entrepreneur_704FDS Newbie 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This man took a chance because a lot of people like banana taffy. He was just betting on getting laid and doesn't give a damn what her favorite its.

[–]SorayaSevenFDS Newbie 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You know damn well banana and strawberry sound so similar! 😂🤦🏾‍♀️😂

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Its so bizarre that he made this about how great HE IS as a boyfriend.

I would NEVER do something nice for my bf and then leave a note that's like "wow i'm so awesome to you". The note would say like "You're hot and I appreciate and love you."


[–]linabliuFDS Newbie 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean I saw this a couple of times but it still makes me laugh hysterically. I bet that dude WAS so smug doing this shit. Heyy, look at me! I DO remember what you like! The audacity it baffles me.

[–]ReesescerealisbuenoThrowaway Account 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh my that’s acc hilarious 😂

[–]redpandanation_FDS Newbie 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This has me rolling 🤣

[–]katarzina56 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hahaha, I could see my ex doing this 100%

I had asked for a Cameo for my birthday and he could only come up with suggestions of celebrities HE liked!

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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