To Lauren Chen, The Manosphere, and anyone else who thinks we’re “wrong” for encouraging our members to lie to men about their sexual history.

Pizza-n-Lice · 2019-12-17T06:06:22+00:00

Even if your sexual history is short, they still will shame you. Hell, my first boyfriend called me ruined and impure after. They hate female sexuality and any expression of it angers them. They'll shame you for having sex and they'll shame you for refusing sex and "being a prude". They'll use it against you no matter what, might as well lie, they lie about everything anyway.

wowthispostissad · 2019-12-17T05:47:07+00:00

Why is it considered lying if you just don’t share? If someone asks me about my sexual history (rarely happens tbh) then I tell him it’s not his business. And I don’t ask about his. I only care about std results.

spotsandstripes9 · 2019-12-17T13:18:24+00:00

It’s a big, fat red flag if a guy asks about my sexual history. Most guys know it’s considered a weird/invasive question.

sweetlittleflower · 2019-12-17T07:29:24+00:00

Because men think our vaginas should always have the same standards of entry at all times at every point in our life because we’re not allowed to ever demand better treatment than we naively accepted in the past

This one cuts deep. Although it's not applicable to me personally as I'm still a virgin (not in a rush to loose it, I have personal reasons), but it pisses me right off when men say "if she slept with x on the first date, she doesn't have the right to wait x dates for me" - it really shows you how they view women, like objects sold at a market (of course it would be unfair if the same product is sold for one customer at a different price as another), not as human beings with values and beliefs that can change overtime through life experience.

SourceInHerEyes · 2019-12-17T12:01:34+00:00

My first time in this sub, and I think I stumbled upon the Garden of Eden. This was articulated so perfectly.

2019-12-17T08:05:08+00:00

My first ever boyfriend literally said I was a whore for sleeping with ONE guy before him. And he did expect anal as a result (even though I didn't do that)

Scotsburd · 2019-12-17T06:15:12+00:00

It's none of anyone's business. Full Stop.

themissdaydreamer · 2019-12-17T11:52:44+00:00

today I happened to read one of those TRP incels complaining on how "women nowadays are all promiscuous and the exepctions practically don't exist". and this the same thought shared by thousands of millions of men. they already decided to put an scarlet letter on us. which means that we'll be considered whores regardless what we did and what we didn't. there's no point in exposing ourselves even more.

perhapsbutnottoday · 2019-12-17T12:36:40+00:00

Yeah, yes and Amen. Die Mad and Die Soon. PLEASE!

sweatydeath · 2019-12-17T17:25:30+00:00

I agree with this post , because some men are persistent in gathering details of a woman's past. If he absolutely does not respect your boundaries and insists on knowing your sexual past, then you have EVERY right to lie.

I don't lie about my sexual history - I flat out refuse to share it. Why? It's NONE OF HIS DAMN BUSINESS. You are not a piece of meat that he's inspecting at the butcher shop before buying. If he doesn't understand that, then drop him ASAP.

MsMister · 2019-12-17T23:12:42+00:00

Cheers! May they die mad!

FDSdisciple · 2019-12-18T01:40:53+00:00

They're lying to us about everything else anyway.

mephitmpH · 2019-12-17T14:22:04+00:00

That’s my business and mine alone. I find it a big red flag for men to even ask me what my exes were like. There are soooo many other things to talk about than the past! Can’t get around that? Block. Next.

alfrediam · 2019-12-18T18:16:33+00:00

This is a great post.

(TW: SEXUAL ASSAULT ETC.)

I told my (now ex) boyfriend I was sexually assaulted various times. And he decided since I've already been 'damaged' or 'used' to it then its alright for him to rape me. That was literally his fucked thought process. I realised a lot of the times when women discuss their sexual traumas to their male partners, some men actually take notes to see what is "acceptable".

I've resorted to telling anyone I'm seeing that I'm a virgin and I don't disclose what happened to me unless I'm 99.98% sure it won't ruin my future safety. Unfortunately, I've yet to meet a man that hasn't proven themselves to be flaming dumpsters lol

WhoNeedsTears · 2019-12-18T18:24:25+00:00

I had an ex boyfriend justify his cheating on me by saying that I had been with another man when I was sexually assaulted and so he could be with another woman. He cheated on me one week after I was sexually assaulted - I felt so terrible. I still had the bruises on my chest and back from the assault and he was off with another woman.

Edit: a very good example of a LVM

an0nny · 2019-12-17T12:00:59+00:00

YESSSS

mypretties · 2019-12-18T02:40:21+00:00

QUEEEN SHIT 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Halofriend101 · 2019-12-19T17:27:16+00:00

I don't think as adults we should ever feel obligated to disclose our sexual history unless there is some medical issue that our sexual partner needs to know about.

windybrown · 2019-12-19T18:51:19+00:00

This cuts so deep and I still struggle with the idea that I have to withhold information about my life in order to continue to be worthy is some dudes eyes. That's essentially what you're arguing, that if we want to maintain an image as a HVW we have to not expose parts of our past that could devalue us.

I'd like to think that a HWM wouldn't give 2 shits about someone's sexual past but I think those men are far and few. My ex boyfriend, the guy I thought was the love of me life, constantly degraded me for having a sexual history before him. The final straw and the reason I walked away was when he was screaming at me outside of a club, telling me "Did you really think someone would love if you acted like that?" I stood there shocked to my core and all I could remember thinking was "who am I if this is the kind of love I'm willing to accept? What does it say about me if this is the person I love?"

So I walked away from that relationship after that night. Two years of being a pickmeisha and hoping he'd love me fully and generously. NEVER AGAIN.

ms_monquis · 2019-12-17T23:14:27+00:00

I will never answer that question.

Not when men ask it, not when women ask it, not when my gynecologist asks it (note: she doesn't, because I never went back to the last one who did). There's no "right" answer and it's irrelevant to everything.

TheOGJammies · 2019-12-17T07:20:25+00:00

[removed]

2019-12-18T10:12:07+00:00

[removed]

sweatydeath · 2019-12-19T18:32:58+00:00

[removed]

Title	To Lauren Chen, The Manosphere, and anyone else who thinks we’re “wrong” for encouraging our members to lie to men about their sexual history.
Author	TheOGJammies
Upvotes	351
Comments	69
Date	December 17, 2019 5:39 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ebrmdt/to_lauren_chen_the_manosphere_and_anyone_else_who/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/to-lauren-chen-the-manosphere-and-anyone-else-who.686792 https://theredarchive.com/post/686792