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[–]BbqchilifriesFDS Newbie 608 points609 points610 points 3 years ago (93 children) | Copy Link
Eh. I wouldn't let all of my guard down.
I had a gay friend in college who would poke my boobs all the time.
After 4 years he told me he was actually bi..ten years later he has a wife and two kids.
[–]sleepykittnFDS Newbie 228 points229 points230 points 3 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
Yes! Thank you! Not all gay men are actually safe to be around. They still have male entitlement and treat it like a privelege like we dont expect them to rape us, but they still sexually harrass us like 'they can' as if straight men never do 'so its different' um no all types of men do and now theyre just another type we cant always trust. Its not funny its harassment.
Im not a fan of pete davidson but i watched his netflix standup an dd he talks about this topic about how gay guys inappropriately touch his girlfriend like its funny and he was spot on, its not right just because theyre gay even if theyre friends.
Can women ever get a break? Same goes for female friends doing that too.
[–]LongirlFDS Newbie 94 points95 points96 points 3 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I’ve just googled that story and he got slated for saying that. He was called homophobic. So even when someone speaks out for women being assaulted, women get shoved to the back of the debate while everyone panders to the men’s hurt feelings.
Poor Ariana Grande is being sexually assaulted left, right and centre and her bf is being shouted down for bringing it up. I feel like I’m living in clown world.
[–]sleepykittnFDS Newbie 35 points36 points37 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Technically they were broken up, he was decent enough as an ex and as a person to still bring up the issue for change. He had a bad rep so anything he said was going to be slated :/ just because you talk about gay men doesnt mean every word is homophobic, straight or gay- women are victim to both their sexual harrassment as pointed out here a lot in the comments. Theyre not all harmless to women.
[–]fdssavedmylifeFDS Newbie 51 points52 points53 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I had this experience in my early 20s. A mutual acquaintance was extremely handsy and overly affectionate to people he didn’t really know (that night, me). I complained about it and my friends basically told me it’s okay and to get over it because he’s gay.
Um, no. No one is allowed to touch me without my consent, regardless of their sexuality.
[–]toredtimetravellerFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
People like to pretend consent doesn't matter if the person isn't a straight man and if it's a straight man and you're in a relationship with him (any sort of relationship not only romantic) then consent is cancelled out here too!?
I had a female friend get mad at me for telling her to not touch my boobs. Yes she's straight and bi, I don't feel comfortable with anyone touching me without consent even my boyfriend doesn't. I had to stay away from her for a while to get her to understand that this isn't going to pass as a funny mistake.
[–]allergictoscrotesFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Eh, I didn’t really care for it, because he did largely frame it as something that’s not fair because he has to put in time with a woman to get permission to touch her, while gay men don’t— not that it’s unfair to the women these gay men are groping. He was making a good point, but for the wrong reasons.
[–]sleepykittnFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I didnt think it was framed that way, he tried to laugh about it since its standup but he also seemed more protective of his girlfriends comfort because in no way is it okay.
If anything it seemed to frame that he COULDN'T stop it in case it came off homophobic or possessive..so i think thats what he resented.
Like "im a gay dude whos gunna stop me? Either way it only makes your bf look bad if hes got something to say🤡"
[–]allergictoscrotesFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
My issue was that he focused a lot on how it isn’t fair that he hasn’t to put in work to touch a woman, and the gay guy “gets off on a technicality” and focused all on how it made him feel, without a word about the woman getting groped. I would hope that your more charitable interpretation is the correct one, because I’d like to have more faith in humanity, but after watching the clip twice now it still just comes off like he’s more concerned about the double standard for some men vs others than the fact that these women are getting groped.
[–]sleepykittnFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I get that, i agree it wouldve helped his case without that but he also said he wouldnt do that if he could and i rewatched, he litterally says 'cant say anything but i want to', thats what he resents but to me he pointed something out that gay men have been getting away with thats no better than if a straight man did it. Also its standup so hes probably saying anything to make his stories get laughs, but that story mattered to me and i didnt think it was focused a lot on jealousy. And i think it mattered more after ariana being groped on live tv so hes well aware of what women put up with. So i hope that might lean you towards faith in humanity because i really dont think it was about jealousy at all and thats why he said he cant say anything, because of that easy misinterpretation, thats why gay men have that leverage. Either way, it needed to be pointed out. Im glad he used his platform for it. I also liked that he pointed out in any context of identity, its only gay men doing it to straight girls, other people dont do that to any other gender or sexual orientation. The context matters, like "its ok we both hste this" hes right to ask why.
He said women laugh it off, but he also knows thats how ariana was coping in that situation. And i think thats why he wants to say something.
[–]allergictoscrotesFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I had somehow forgotten about Ari getting groped on live tv— that was so gross, and definitely makes me more open to giving Pete the benefit of the doubt. I just rewatches that video and seeing the way she was leaning away from that man, and looking behind her for help was heartbreaking. And the way Bill Clinton was watching her sing made me feel like I needed a long shower— so gross.
[–]sleepykittnFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
And that church dude faced no consequence 🤡 he had more power than the most famous artist at the time..and the irony that it was Aretha Franklins funeral, famous for singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T, respecting women! This guy was supposed to grasp morals! To feel that secure doing that on live tv..this is what living in a mans world means even for the most powerful women :(
[–]allergictoscrotesFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It was like he had a death grip on her— it was really uncomfortable to watch. Especially knowing that she worked with alleged abuser Dan Schneider for years as a teen, and was instructed to do some really inappropriate shit on camera. That woman has been through too much, and the fact that the majority of the comments were shaming her outfit, rather than the man who groped her, and literally outright claiming that no one could blame the men for leering, when she dressed that way is so disturbing and scary.
[–]sleepykittnFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
They say anything to absolve themselves 😑😒
[–]berryberrykicksFDS Apprentice 124 points125 points126 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Former theatre & choir kid, so I had a lot of gay friends in high school.
One of my (not as close) gay friends thought it was funny to rip open my shirt (it had snaps) to show my boobs. He did it when just a few friends were in the the choir room. I didn’t think it was funny. The first time or the subsequent times.
[–]BbqchilifriesFDS Newbie 73 points74 points75 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
That's awful. Did anyone report it? That's full on harassment.
[–]berryberrykicksFDS Apprentice 55 points56 points57 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Nope. It didn’t even occur to me to report it.
[–]BbqchilifriesFDS Newbie 66 points67 points68 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
God damn. Our token gay friend in highschool got annoyed by me and started screaming at my in a stairwell and pretended to kick me in the face.
I exploded into tears but then he was like I can't be violent. I'm gay af.
I didn't report it either.
[–]berryberrykicksFDS Apprentice 37 points38 points39 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ugh, I’m so sorry!
He can’t be violent, because he’s gay. Alright then.
I had so many gay friends. I was THE person to come out to, and I tried to start a Gay Straight Alliance in my tiny Midwest town.
Gay people are people, so they can be anything a person can be. Including violent.
Now I’m wondering if his thought process was, “Violence is overwhelming carried out by heterosexual men, therefore...” I mean, that’s still insane. It’s just interesting to see how strong the association is.
[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH 33 points34 points35 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Well my gay best friend is the most gentle man I’ve ever met and he’s had multiple gay men be violent towards him. He has been very saddened by his experiences. It seems to me there are a lot of mental health issues within that community just as in the straight community. Maybe moreso because of the sexual emphasis, I just know what my friend has gone through and my own experiences. I’m glad to see replies that I can relate to, sometimes I disagree with posts here but that’s ok, we can discuss our thoughts and experiences and that’s important.
[–]berryberrykicksFDS Apprentice 15 points16 points17 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh, I’ve had several good friends who are gay men, and I trust them completely. They would never raise a hand towards me. My best friend in my senior year of high school was gay. There’s no way he would lay a hand on another human being in anger.
And I agree with you. The LGBTQIA+ community has a lot of mental health challenges. The discrimination and lack of resources are deadly to queer men and women. Both homicide and suicide are a significant problem (to varying degrees for different cohorts within the community).
It’s absolutely heartbreaking. It’s one of the reasons I pursued the establishment of a GSA at my high school. It’s why I relentlessly explained why using “gay” as a negative descriptor was so harmful. I say it was relentless, because I was doing it in high school during the early 2000s; I got a lot of eyerolling and snickering in response. But I never stopped.
(tangential side note: In my pursuit of becoming a more effective ally for POC, I took surveys that were designed to reveal the respondents’ biases. According to the surveys, I am moderately biased in favor of gay men. I could think of worse things...)
[–]iaintgonnacallyouFDS Newbie 95 points96 points97 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I wouldn’t let my guard down either. They may understand the threat of other men, but they’re still men too.
My older brother is gay and has physically assaulted women, then bragged about “curb stomping a bitch”. I’ve witnessed gay men fight women then justify it using their sexuality.
[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH 51 points52 points53 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Jesus, how many of us have been assaulted by gay men? This thread is insane and really surprising. I thought I was alone but this seems to be a fairly common occurrence. I’m truly shook by these responses. 🤗
[–]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple 243 points244 points245 points 3 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link
Yes! I was assaulted by a gay friend who turned out to be actually more bi. I know another gay man who told me he slept with girls when he was really drunk and horny and loved the fact that women don’t mind changing clothes in his presence.
[–]Charming-Bee-2337 227 points228 points229 points 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I used to have a screenshot of a gay man saying he was only attracted to women in porn because he liked the power imbalance and something about him liking seeing women being humiliated and would imagine that after the scenes the porn actress would go home feeling humiliated and cry in the shower trying to scrub it off.
I wish I could find the screenshot again It just showed how men who watch porn really feel about women and that men are more attracted to degrading women than actual women, I feel like a lot of straight men are like that too. But I deleted the screenshot and cant find it again.
[–]davisgirl44FDS Newbie 48 points49 points50 points 3 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
I had a gay friend once. We were hanging out on the patio late one night and he went in to use the bathroom. For an unusual amount of time. I found him in my 5 year old sons room, he said he just wanted to “watch him sleep”.
[–]toredtimetravellerFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Oh my dear lord that is terrifying I can't imagine how you felt at that moment!
[–]davisgirl44FDS Newbie 40 points41 points42 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Honestly, it was awful. The worst thing for me is that I had felt vibes when he was around my son before ... and had felt ashamed of myself for possibly ASSuming that homosexuals might be pedophiles.
Women vastly underestimate how low men are willing to go for their dicks.
[–]thecrazywitch31FDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
NO!!! Don't feel bad about assuming. You are only protecting your Child. See.. Good and bad people exist EVERYWHERE. No matter the religion, gender, cast, race, ethnicity. There are good as well as bad people.
[–]Alpha_AriesFDS Newbie 77 points78 points79 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We believe you
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, that woman in the porn goes home and checks her bank account. No tears there. 🤨
[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH 122 points123 points124 points 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Oh gosh this happened to me too. It still haunts me to this day. I’m not sure how far he would have taken his assault if someone hadn’t walked into the room in the middle of it. Some of the most heinous serial killers have been gay men. There is no reason to pedestalize them. My best friend is a gay man and has been through some hell with other gay men. They are as toxic as straight men, they are still men.
[+][deleted] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I think one of the other reasons gay men may be like this with women is we tend to compete for the same types of jobs.
[–]ForeverHoneyFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’ve notice gay men in women’s fields tend to be the most cattiest and too faced people. They are still men and have to assert their dominance somehow.
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have to agree, but man! Some of them are so funny I’ve almost gotten nosebleeds laughing.
[–]ForeverHoneyFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I Believe it. They have been marked as more feminine by other men and will be harassed and bullied on. Why not shift their behavior to be more assertive to 1) prevent bullying 2) attract other men by showing their dominance 3) redirect their anger/mistreatment in society to another easier target.
[–]thecrazywitch31FDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I have heard a lot of child sexual assault from gay/bi men. A guy who sexually assaulted me when I was a child also assaulted a boy too. No one took real serious action until I was assaulted and fucking cried so loud, created drama that EVERYONE knew. It was a summer camp. And THEN one teacher was like,"ohhh that happened with a boy too yesterday we should do something about it" this is so fucking fucked up.
Also this is the first time I'm sharing this with someone in detail. Rest I just say, "yeah I have been sexually assaulted as a child"
No negative comments please ❤
[+][deleted] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ciciplumFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same. I'm gonna come off as an ass but in my experience from being in queer spaces/friend groups (I'm bi myself) a lot of the "girl besties" of gay guys are total pickmes, and the guys themselves absolutely love this type of friendship where they are sort of the pack leader in a regina george type of way - not that they are always mean, but it's this sort of "tv female" behavior that they emulate and that many girls invariably gravitate to. I am very much generalizing and millennial queer culture is obviously not representative of a large chunk of gay people. For a while I felt attracted to it and wanted the validation too, until I realized it was really just toxic and not a fit for me.
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ve experienced this as well. I had a fair amount of gay friends when I was younger. Pretty much all of them asked to touch my bewbs and some have tried to get me in bed. Of course, I’ve had girlfriends grab my boobs as well, apparently when you are a C cup and up your breasts are public property, lol.
[–]mightyChloeFDS Newbie 227 points228 points229 points 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
THIS! Vetting is important even if the guy is gay. Remember that gay men can also be sexist and reproduce toxic behavior
[–]jcebabeFDS Newbie 52 points53 points54 points 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Right, they can be be team men just as much as straight men. I feel most are.
[–]fdssavedmylifeFDS Newbie 18 points19 points20 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Most men hate women, but only some of them also want to fuck us. (Kidding but kind of not kidding)
[+][deleted] 3 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]fdssavedmylifeFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Not to mention, the stereotypical mannerisms that many homosexual men adopt are basically a mockery of femininity. Don’t even get me started on the drag scene.
[+][deleted] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]ForeverHoneyFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Can you explain some of the thoughts for drag queens? Super interesting
[–]ForeverHoneyFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Can you explain the drag scene? I don’t understand why it’s a mockery (I’m dumb lol)
[–]fdssavedmylifeFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The topic is debatable and that’s not necessarily an FDS stance. I respect drag as an art and have enjoyed drag shows back when shows were a thing. There are a spectrum of genders and personalities in the current drag scene. In some cases, cisgendered men are impersonating women and the portrayals aren’t always accurate or ideal. More like menwritingwomen kinda stuff (hypersexual, dramatic, etc). I don’t think it’s intentional or malicious on an individual level and the characters they play can be a lot of fun, regardless of accuracy.
[–]Lost_Kale90FDS Apprentice 49 points50 points51 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yes! A male friend of mine that is gay, once said that basically he is homo-romantic, meaning he only wants to date guys, but is still sexually turned on with women
[–]fdssavedmylifeFDS Newbie 37 points38 points39 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So he only respects other men, but still wants to use women as fleshlights. Cool. Cool cool cool.
[–]thinktwiceorelseFDS Newbie 43 points44 points45 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmao, this literally happened to me too.
[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH 32 points33 points34 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah this was my point in a previous post, and I was assaulted by a gay man at a party, my best friend is a gay man so my experience is that they can make absolutely wonderful friends to women but there is a subset that hates us. They can be incredibly violent towards each other as well. I think we need to be careful with the assumptions regardless of gender.
[–]chinchaslythFDS Newbie 167 points168 points169 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I was assaulted at work in broad daylight by a gay man. He grabbed my chest in front of everyone. I was so mortified and cried. I was sent home. It triggered me. He kept trying to yell that he was gay and it was ok. But no. It wasn’t :(
[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH 53 points54 points55 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m so sorry you went through this. I had my nipples twisted painfully by a gay man alone in a room at a party who then tried got on top of me trying to unzip my jeans before someone walked in on the assault. I ran home crying, I was only 17. My mom asked if she should call the police but I didn’t want my friends busted for marijuana. All gay men are NOT friendly to us. He was definitely gay btw. We were young, maybe he was very confused how to deal with it but he was gay as a blade and we all knew it.
[–]MissDesignDivaFDS Newbie 89 points90 points91 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ugh, that is not ok, if either person in a situation is not ok with it, then it's not ok. Him being of the "gay so it's ok" mindset is so twisted, also if he's gay and going all grabby grabby towards you, a woman, clearly not so gay. You were assaulted by a Man, the gay modifier is almost not relevant here in my opinion.
[–]sleepykittnFDS Newbie 86 points87 points88 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just👏because👏youre👏 gay👏doesnt👏make👏it👏ok👏.
I swear theyre just as entitled as straight men that think they actually have more privelege like lining up in girls bathrooms making us wait longer. You have a gay club, we dont have women only spaces! Not even the bathroom..
I work in a nightclub and deal with entitled gay men all the time and they have the nerve to argue with me to go in the same stall at the same time with their female friend. If youre gay you wont mind waiting to go in one alone! How do i know youre not lying and trying to have sex her when you get in there?? Theyre lucky i dont even direct them to the male bathroom which i could and maybe now i will😒
[–]LongirlFDS Newbie 26 points27 points28 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I had a gay boss for a year and he used to stand behind me and try and massage my shoulders while I was trying to work.
He was THE WORST boss I’ve ever had and he used to bully the younger girls to wear skirts and dresses (not trousers). This was only about 6 years ago. He was one of the most misogynist men I’ve ever met.
[–]MOzarkiteFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
At least back in the 1990s, HR would happily agree with him : If a gay employee was going around touching women inappropriately or making obnoxious sexual comments about women, all the HR women (and they were ALL women) would do is trill, "But he's gaaaAAaaaYyy-!" like that made it okay.
I think the problem (at least at workplaces) is the notion that sexual harassment is always about 'getting sex', rather than using sexualized harrassment as a way of making women feel powerless, or "less than". "Dominance harassment' might be a better term than sexual harassment. Maybe.
[–]melonmagellanFDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Gross. Jesus. The only thing LVMs are capable of is lying.
[–]psilocybeanieFDS Newbie 21 points22 points23 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah I had a gay best friend in high school, and last I heard he was pimping out young women. Being gay is one less risk factor but they're still men.
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I met a woman in AA who’s pimp was a gay man, also in AA.
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie 14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
That makes me so angry. No one should ever use their sexuality as an excuse to physically assault anyone. It sounds like he was faking an entire sexual identity because he thought it would help him get away with assault.
[–]IAteTheDragonFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I guess we should call it an attempt to 'Gay away' with assault.🙊
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I honestly believe there is a subset of men who are ‘gay’ just because it’s easier to have NSA/anon sex with men than it is with women.
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I will never understand it...I have never been and will never be interested in NSA and anonymous sex. I don't understand people who want that. It's the most disgusting, self-degrading, horrific, disrespectful thing ever. I want none of it.
[–]fds_account58 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I don’t trust gay guys much more than straight one. Men lie. Also hot take but gay culture is horrifically misogynistic and don’t even get me started on drag.
[–]idiayFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
100%. My gay 'friend' was actually a creep too.
[–]ello-mottoFDS Apprentice 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Almost happened to me as well but in the workplace. He had female friends who would let him do it to them and they laughed it off. He tried to go for mine and I shifted my body away. I felt so traumatized he even tried to do it.
Just because you're not attracted to my gender, doesn't mean you're entitled to grabbing my private parts. 🚫
[–]StrawberryMoon3FDS Apprentice 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't get why these men are always absolved from being critiqued when it comes to the role that they play in patriarchal oppression. Libfems always give them a pass.
[–]Wildestrose1988Pickmeisha™️ 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
I haven't actually had the most positive experiences with gay men. Like obviously there is less concern about them raping you or whatever but gay community is kind of vitriolic towards women to be honest. And why wouldn't they be? They're still men and they don't even have to pretend to be nice to us to get into our pants like straight guys. Gay community adores female icons but as soon as they gain a little bit of weight they shit all over them for not being their perfect little dolls. Fashion industry is mostly run by gay men who hate women's bodies and encourage us to look like skeletons. Sorry gay men don't get a pass.
[–]BbqchilifriesFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That's such a great point, honestly.
I remember one time I complimented a guy about how nicely he decorated his dorm room. His entire closet was decorated with amazing photographs.
He grimaced and was like "well what the f*** did you expect? I'm gay... Fucking women." And then rolled his eyes.. First time I ever met the dude. He was my friend's neighbor.
That's honestly stayed with me even though it happened 13 years ago. He was so damn rude for no reason but adored my hetero male friend.
[–]Wildestrose1988Pickmeisha™️ 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I've modeled before and once a gay man was in charge of my wardrobe and he didn't make any effort to even bring clothes in my size. Everything was for like a size 6 and I'm closer to a 12. He also kind of had a snotty attitude. I feel like he didn't even want me to wear anything... Now luckily I was able to fit into some stretchier items but I never had a straight man do this they always ask my size and go out if their way to find things specifically for my body... Idk it just gave me flashbacks to all the times I saw some gay designer critiquing a woman's body for not being flat enough. Probably because they were too lazy to sew a curved seam
[–]Wildestrose1988Pickmeisha™️ 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Big Yikes to that story btw. Lol what a douche
[–]300peachesFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Likewise. There was a gay kid in my high school who insisted on entering the girls changing room because ??? Reasons I guess? Good thing everyone was like FUCK NO.
[–]KittycaramackarelFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeeeep. And going on about how gross vaginas are, or attempting to use gayness as a trump card so that they can talk over women, cause they're not like other men or cause "we're both oppressed". Like it "doesn't count". No thanks.
[–]BbqchilifriesFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Okay so yesterday I had someone talk about how big boobs are awful and they hate having them."I don't like existing for male pleasure."
Followed by "I love tucking (my pp). Makes me feel like I can get away with being a total slut."
Pretty much. "I want bigger boobs so that I can be oppressed and complain too."
They literally chose it.
[–]faux_maux_FDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Right? So many gay men have grabbed my body without consent - being gay don’t mean you see women as people.
[+][deleted] 3 years ago* (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]hoIds_up_sporkFDS Disciple 137 points138 points139 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
This is the thing MRAs never want to talk about - most men who are assaulted are assaulted by other men, most men/boys who are raped, are raped by other men, most men who are killed are killed by other men. They expend all their energy pretending to care about the 20% of men abused by women yet are completely dismissive (if not downright bigoted and homophobic) to higher number of men who are victimized by other men.
[–]sleepykittnFDS Newbie 53 points54 points55 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In Australia the female rapists are apparently 3%, oddly they are convicted more than the 97% of male rapists🤔 sounds rigged.
[–]throhawey123FDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Violent crimes and rape are like 98% committed by male people.
[+][deleted] 3 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] 3 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Bubbly-Risk-3758FDS Newbie 734 points735 points736 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
This is why, while it's disrespectful and fetishizes gay men, I kind of understand where women are coming from when they say things like "my gay best friend" or are really excited when meeting gay men. They're happy they know a man that they feel comfortable with. They're appreciating a male presence in their life that they don't have it be afraid of. They can finally relax.
My best friend is a gay man and there are a lot of gay men my social circle as well, and while I would never say fetishize them or say "omg my best friend is gay!" I feel so close to him and trust him so much, something I've rarely ever felt with hetero male friends.
[–]pickmieshaexorcistFDS Disciple 284 points285 points286 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s sad, I really enjoy male energy and a lot of my interests are shared by males. Unfortunately since a large majority of them are a) cringe/inappropriate/overly sexual and/or b) don’t actually value women as real friends and fellow humans, while a frightening minority are legit dangerous to me...well let’s just say I don’t actively cultivate male friends anymore. My brother is my closest male friend, prob my best friend, and my husband has some cool bros that we can have beers with and it’s not that deep. Other than that though 🤷🏻♀️
[–]Jiou112FDS Newbie 120 points121 points122 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I have a gay friend in my girls chat and I'm always sending FDS and he's like yup, I feel that.
[–]moonartemis1989FDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
straight men hate on both women and gay men
[–]toredtimetravellerFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Gay men also deal with bullshit from other gay men, my friend had many experiences that are similar to mine with straight men. It's like men who decide they're taking the dominant role in a relationship can't accept that the other person doesn't want a dominant player. They want equality and understanding. Unfortunately most men gay/straight can't comprehend that and don't want to. They just want control and power even if it means destroying and abusing another person.
[–]moonartemis1989FDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh my god ,fuck male violence
[–]descending_angelFDS Newbie 28 points29 points30 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, this describes it perfectly. I always feel kind of weird or wrong for saying I want a close gay male friend because I enjoy male energy, but I do want to have the comfort of being close with a man as well who I don't have to worry about in certain ways (sexualizing, etc.)
[–]Affectionate-Rush893FDS Newbie 47 points48 points49 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Until a gay man fondles your chest out of nowhere and when you get angry he tells you you're not allowed to be mad because he's gay and not a threat to you, even though he just sexually assaulted you. In front of other people who are taking his side
[–]r4nd0m-u53rFDS Newbie 330 points331 points332 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
My gay male friend is my biggest advocate for being a HVW he is always telling me to "block and delete" at the SLIGHTEST sign of disrespect. He has spent the last year drilling into my head all the same principles that FDS is about. He constantly reminds me my time is valuable so don't waste it on LVM.
[–]purasangriaRuthless Strategist 66 points67 points68 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sounds like he knows just how shitty hetero men are to women. He's got a fly on the wall view of their behavior, as a man.
[–]ZayelleFDS Newbie 88 points89 points90 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
He sounds awesome.
[–]r4nd0m-u53rFDS Newbie 89 points90 points91 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
He is amazing and he said he loves the crazy stories I have so it is win win. The thing I found interesting is that gay men have just as many problems with LVM as we do !
[–]ZayelleFDS Newbie 41 points42 points43 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's true. One of my friend's ex reacted very badly to their break ups. He went to my friend's place and threw everything from his room outside, furniture included. Luckily the police arrived not so long after that. My friend was unarmed.
Edit: unHarmed not unarmed
[–]_queeeen_FDS Newbie 101 points102 points103 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean maybe. He might not rape me. But he can still wield some toxic misogyny at me. I’ll still vet to see if he’s friend material.
[–]BasieSkanksRuthless Strategist 176 points177 points178 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
All my male friends are gay. And they’re pretty solid as allies.
[–]StrawberryMoon3FDS Apprentice 27 points28 points29 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
My hyper vigilance doesn't reduce. All men are taught to exploit women for their personal gain. Just because he's not attracted to women, doesn't really mean much to me. I still remember how the ghey community treated Britney Spears, Madonna, Lana Del Rey and many more of their female "faves".
[–]PartypuppersFDS Apprentice 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm out of the loop, how did they treat them?
[–]StrawberryMoon3FDS Apprentice 12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The typical misogyny. These women were constantly bodyshamed by their gheigh male fans, their mental health problems were also ridiculed. And this same fanbase would also mock them when they get attacked by crazed male fans.
[–]marasloveFDS Newbie 62 points63 points64 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Uh... idk. I’ve actually ran into some very creepy 100% gay males in my life. Many are also misogynistic as hell. Honestly.... I just don’t trust males period. Doesn’t matter the orientation. I don’t feel safe with anyone.
[–]XRozeFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
same lol. for every safe dude there's several more who are as risky as hell. the ratio is prob the same for HVW and pickmes too. safest bet is to not let guard down ever.
[–]StrawberryMoon3FDS Apprentice 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly
[–]KompottkopfFDS Newbie 119 points120 points121 points 3 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
I have had many friendships with men. Close, best friend situations.
Many of them were ruined because the guy fell in love. Ruined because I, as the proud lesbian woman that I only recently accepted myself to be, would of course not share the sentiment and had to turn him down.
It is devastating to have your best friend suddenly not talk to you anymore because he got feelings and you let him down and now he pulls back. It's an absolutely understandable reaction on their part - yet being on the receiving end of this, several times even, is soul crushing.
Without having done anything wrong, I lost my best friend and had to cope and had to continue my life without them. Of course none of them came back after they dealt with their emotions.
The only two times it did not happen was with my highschool best friend (who is also gay) and my current best friend, who knows I am a lesbian, who is otherwise engaged romantically and whom I have talked with this about extensively.
[–]yolosunshine 57 points58 points59 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I have had my (bi) heart broken many times by male friendships angry and in tears that I just don’t want them back.
Then they swan off and never contact me again.
My dude. I said friendship. I explicitly said ‘this will not be romantic.’
Then it’s my fault. Do they need a fucking contract on paper ?
It’s the feelings catchers fault for misrepresenting themselves originally which has basically been the case.
I love my gay male friends bc I know we’re bot there because we have the same humor or both love x hobby.
[–]orangechickengeneralFDS Newbie 35 points36 points37 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I explicitly said ‘this will not be romantic.’
"You are a woman so your words have no power, that's why! Also, all women have shit for brains and they change their minds like every second, so why bother taking their words seriously?"
[–]BbqchilifriesFDS Newbie 83 points84 points85 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is such a pattern with some guys. Falling for all their female friends.
In the case of my female best friend, the guy she was best friends with for over 3 years felt her up while she was sleeping and then bragged about it to everybody but her. When he finally professed his love in an ultimatum and she rejected him because she had no interest in him romantically, he went around telling everybody what a b**** she was and that she knew the whole time that he was in love with her and lead him on for three years. Forced everybody to take sides.
[–]yolosunshine 17 points18 points19 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yuuuuuuup
[–]nymphaetamineFDS Disciple 36 points37 points38 points 3 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
Yup, I lost a 7 year friendship because of this. My life fell apart a few years ago, I got laid off, lost my apartment, and I had no choice but to accept a male friend's offer to move into his spare room. I wasn't really comfortable with the idea but my only other option was living in my car. I grilled him pretty hard up front to make sure there were no strings attached to the offer, no 'expectations' other than the arrangement we both came up with where I'd do housework in lieu of paying rent/bills. Even back then I'd had many other guy friends ambush me with feelings or even physical stuff so I was pretty wary of hidden catches whenever a guy was being a little too nice to me. He swore up and down he just wanted to help me out and had no ulterior motives, and it actually worked out okay for the first month. Just two buds having fun and hanging out, and they were roommates! But soon... the advances began. He started getting too close and trying to touch me, started making comments about my body, inviting himself into my room, even walked out of his room carrying a sex toy once. I was really uncomfortable and tried to be gone a lot, and started locking my door when I slept. I realized he installed some kind of keylogger on my computer too when he started mentioning things I'd said to other friends in private chats. It ended with him kicking me out in the middle of winter when I started dating someone else.
It was honestly really upsetting. He became a total creep who I was glad to never speak to again in the end, but this was someone who I thought was a real friend for many years. Being tricked like that seriously does a lot of emotional damage. It really fucks up your ability to trust anyone at all when someone you thought was your best friend, who you thought you knew SO well and could rely on, turns out to be a wolf in sheep's clothing the whole time.
[–]KompottkopfFDS Newbie 18 points19 points20 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
That is so fucked up :O damn...
Honestly, at this point I wonder what kind of boy-dream-fantasyland it is to honestly believe wriggling your way through friendship / living arrangements into a woman's heart.
I once moved into a city for a trainee program. I moved in with two Guys who had a spare room. Everything cool so far. The one guy and I started hanging out. Eventually, this led to a several years relationship (that was before I knew I was gay). It was like last month that I could pinpoint the exact moment this whole thing got off the grounds of friendship and into another sphere: when while watching TV on the same couch and smoking weed, he started subtly playing with my nipple. Dude. I had mistaken sexual arousal from having my nipple played with, with butterflies in my stomach. This set this whole fucking Trainwreck in motion in the first place! Up until then I thought we were just roommates.
Do you know what's so entirely convenient about this whole setup, now that I think about? Yours as well as mine?
They already got the women! They got her close: She cannot leave so easily, because the bullshit threshold is set higher if you live together. You don't move out because somebody forgot to flush the toilet once, but a woman with standards most certainly won't date somebody again who shits into her toilet and does a no-flush in the dating phase.
Then: no dates required! No 'best behaviour', no effort. Just dropping hints 'subtly' by walking out of your own fucking room with a sex toy in hand.
And then the safety of the eerie pastures of gaslight-ville, because if she finally gets that there is something going on and does not like it, of course it's very easy to shove her into the fog: it was just a joke! He didn't mean it like that! Don't feel weirded out, I can put on a towel the next time after a shower - I just thought since this was my home, I would not be required to, geez.
Damn man... I think I just found a pattern...
[–]nymphaetamineFDS Disciple 14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You've definitely found a pattern, that's exactly what it was with my former friend. He knew I was pretty much trapped there with him, so he didn't have to go through the normal motions of gauging interest and making effort. Just "date me or be homeless" Disgusting.
Thank god for my mom though, she found out what happened and moved me in with her right away.
[–]KompottkopfFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You were so lucky you had your mom! I honestly don't even want to think about what would have happened to you had you been forced to stay there
[–]nymphaetamineFDS Disciple 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh yes, I owe her a lot. Since all this happened I've more than gotten back on my feet but I haven't moved out cause I honestly enjoy living with her, we have fun.
[–]MySonderStoryFDS Newbie 18 points19 points20 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I relate to this so much. Till this day I don’t have close straight men friends; all my best friends are women or gay men. All the men that I’ve considered as my close friends have either told me they fell in love with me or I found out from mutual friends which always made me super uncomfortable knowing that they were acting a certain way to try and get what they wanted and crossed boundaries even though I made it clear I want friendship. Needless to say, I either had to distance myself to stop them from thinking I am “leading them on” or they get awkward and the friendship fades.
[–]SewudFDS Apprentice 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah it sucks most male friendships are ruined because of their feelings.
[–]RewindsunshineThrowaway Account 88 points89 points90 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I can’t say I agree with this. I used to hit up the LBQT+ clubs with my lesbian sister, her girlfriend & my gay friends & the rudeness from gay and/or bisexual men was ridiculous. I had guys straight grabbing my crotch and I never even so much as looked at them. Eventually it became too uncomfortable for me and I stopped going. There was this vibe of “anything goes” with that crowd and I wasn’t having it. If they figured out I was straight my treatment was even worse. Definite shade thrown my way. My guard is up 100% if I am in public. That’s just how it is.
[–]AocwannabeFDS Apprentice 87 points88 points89 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hmmm. I’m wary. I’ve met too many gay men (especially white gay men) that reproduce misogynistic behavior. “Sex and the City” & Marc Cherry...
[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH 37 points38 points39 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep. Same. A lot of them strongly dislike women. I’ve been around many gay men and I can confirm this. I absolutely do not paint them all by the same brushstroke but my overall experience has not been great, my best friend is a gay man but he’s had terrible experiences as a gay man, he should have been born a woman, he loves women, he’s very gentle and kind and has never managed to find a partner, it’s just endless hook up culture and he’s not into that. I’ve seen what he’s gone through. It’s been a very tough existence for him.
[–]Fun_Tangerine4494FDS Newbie 52 points53 points54 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Unfortunately some men pretend to be gay to get women to let their guard down. I learned this unfortunate behavior from an ex of mine that’s proud of how fast the girls let him feel their breasts when he pretended to be gay. So gross.
[–]StrawberryMoon3FDS Apprentice 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I saw this in a film
[–]oh_shit_oh_fuckFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I remember they did that in Kickass and I get annoyed at the film because Katy just forgave him and pursued a relationship with him. In the comic she told him to fuck off and sent him a picture of her sucking off someone else (not recommended but still an improvement).
[+][deleted] 3 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]LikelyWritingFDS Newbie 41 points42 points43 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is pretty much my experience too. Especially with gay men, a lot of them would talk about my body parts and tell me how nasty they were. I don't hang out with ANY men these days.
[–]MadameDestructionFDS Newbie 39 points40 points41 points 3 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Indeed, gay men come across to me as less threatening or dangerous. It is also nice to be seen as just a friend, and not some object or thing to be conquered. However, they can be just as sexist. A personally close example is my younger brother who's gay and regularly brings up sexist video games, movies and memes. He's a weeb and when he was a few years younger told me his favorite genre is ecchi (que weeks of him playing big breasted lolita girls in bikini on the living room tv). It's like he's so uninterested in girls it made him overall just ignorant and unbothered by anything misogynistic. And everytime I try to educate him on it he just tells me I should look past the sexism and enjoy the video game/show...
Another thing that some gay men I know do that kind of annoys me is that sometimes they think their sexuality means that we immediately have a lot more in common and they know what's it like to be a woman. They usually don't mean it mean-spirited but literally the only thing we have in common is an attraction to men; why the fuck do they reduce all of womanhood to being attracted to men.
This post also made me think more deeply about how you have that trope about women being excited about having "a gay best friend!!" while you don't really have an equivalent in which the genders are reversed and men say things like "my lesbian best friend". Rather, I think it's more common of a thing that when a lesbian is with male friends, those men often see her as something they can fix. Like I hear "she just hasn't found the right guy yet, I should get her into bed and change her mind" a lot more often from men talking about lesbians, than I have ever heard a woman say that to their 'gay best friend'. So it's either "my dick can cure her", or they just want to see porn girls making out... Suddenly, that trope about girls saying 'my gay best friend' honestly doesn't sound so bad anymore in my opinion.
[–]savedempathFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This times a million.
[–]StrawberryMoon3FDS Apprentice 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Their caricaturizing of womanhood is definitely problematic
[–]funky_wormsFDS Newbie 36 points37 points38 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
i just had to cut a guy ive been talking to off because of a few weird comments he was making here and there. I thought at first i was being overly hyper-vigilant but then he made a “step sis” comment today. I’m pretty disappointed. but whatever
[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH 10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
My best friend of most of my life is a gay man, but some gay men hate women and have even assaulted them (as I was). I just think it’s important to acknowledge that men are still men and can be aggressive even if gay. I do feel much safer around them as a whole but recognize some do dislike women. It’s dangerous territory to stereotype this way.
[–]sleepykittnFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If gay men put in effort to make women comfortable why cant straight men? Its their own fault that we are hypervigilant and we dont deserve to live like this with our guard always up just minding our own business. I just dont understand the men that say they shouldnt have to do anything like cross the other side of the street or resort to saying how its not equality or something. Yeah dude, 1 in 3 so fuck right off and show some decency. Not all men, but its still men.
[–]Emergency-Feed8216FDS Apprentice 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As a teen, I was attacked, nearly strangled and nearly raped by a psycho whom everyone believed was gay at the time. It's why I accepted his invitation to do my laundry at his apartment when I was traveling. I believed he was safe. But as soon as I got in the door, he wrapped a leather belt around my neck and shoved me onto a sofa.
But just to prove that the point of the post is still generally true, I managed to kick the would be rapist six feet across the floor using a very clever self defense maneuver taught to me by a tiny gay ballet dancer. My dancer friend told me to swing my legs around the shoulders of an assailant in the rape position, let them get in close and then snap my legs straight like a jackknife.
Worked better than expected. I could hear the air forced out the psycho's lungs when he landed on his ribs on the other side of the room. Big guy too-- fell that much harder. He was too winded to give chase and I flew out the door. Thank God there was no dead bolt.
Remember that gay men are still men and vet accordingly.
[–]ConfusedMegladonFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I can definitely relate to letting my guard down, knowing that they're not pretending to be my friend b/c they want something more.
[–]Interesting-Bat3992FDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Now sit back and watch how men will falsely claim to be gay so as to avoid repercussions for their action.
[–]ferociouslycuriousFDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I remember in college wondering why the guys I knew were almost always homophobic but none of the women seemed to be. Was it politeness on the women’s part? Nope. We didn’t see gay men or lesbians as a threat. You find out a guy’s gay, you breathe a sigh of relief. Men know what guys are like, though. They were preemptively worried about their own personal safety. And also offended that lesbians wouldn’t be interested in them. At least those are the conclusions I drew.
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don’t think straight men care about the extent of this.
[–]Imaginary-Driver-767FDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What’s stopping straight men from saying they’re gay to get you into a false sense of security, I know most of them are homophobic but still? I wouldn’t be too quick to let my guard down.
[–]ceramicunicornFDS Disciple 19 points20 points21 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
For all the comments describing negative experiences with gay men, I mean, no demographic is a monolith. I’ve been groped more times by women I did not know than I have by gay men, with the “we’re both girls” excuse. I will say that any groping I’ve experienced by gay men or women has been in a party setting, with alcohol involved. You’re in that setting and as a woman, you pretty much have to be vigilant with all strangers.
At the end of the day, there’s no perfectly safe group, but on the whole, I’ve found women (regardless of orientation) and gay men to be safer bets on the whole. And I also feel like with that demographic, it’s gotten a lot better in the last few years in terms of understanding consent.
This also reminds me of a story where my tall but not exactly jacked male friend was publicly wearing a tight fitting costume which is not the norm for him, and a larger man was following him making comments about his butt. He made it close to 30 years of life before having this experience and it made him feel really gross. He said, “Oh my God, this is what it’s like?” I said “Yep, at least a few times a month of that. Before MeToo, a few times a week!”
[–]Charming-Bee-2337 14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
They seriously cant fathom that that would be gross and uncomfortable without having it happen to them first?
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Empathy is usually not a strong feeling for men.
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I hope she stopped drinking.
[–]toredtimetravellerFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That is very true, my only male friend now is a gay man. He's always been nice to me and respectful and doesn't expect sexual gifts i return since he doesn't like women sexually. There was never any drama since the day i met him a couple of years ago til today, he's always supportive and understanding and doesn't need me to be always present in his life in anyway, we just talk whenever we need eachother or have some free time to hang out. It's like friendship with one my girls and it's peaceful.
My decision to stop being friends with straight/bisexual men was when I realised most of them are sexist misogynists in disguise, or "nice guys" waiting for my relationship to end so they can comfort me in exchange of sexual pleasure.
I never had a friendship with a straight man that I didn't have to be extra careful in dealing with them because I have to be afraid of "leading them on" and friendzoning them, because apparently being nice and considerate of your friend is considered leading him on.
[–]New_Article7411Pickmeisha™️ 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This will inspire straight men to tell women they are gay. Not that they haven't been doing that before.
[–]VivaLaSeaFDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is so accurate, my closes male friend is gay. I don’t even really have any straight male friends.
[–]toredtimetravellerFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SmolfrendFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We typically let our guard down around gay men because we can talk to each other like people rather than worry about if he just sees you as a fuckable object and if he's dangerous if you don't acquiesce.
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He has a good understanding of why women are so cautious. It's too bad this isn't the case in general.
[–]ButterShies 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not to be rude, but gay men often go over my boundaries, touch me too much (often my breasts) and often are hyper sexual regardless about my relationships. They often are as sexist as straight men as well. I haven’t had the best experiences. Imo, men are men. Just bcs they aren’t attracted to women, doesn’t mean they can do whatever
[–]f0rnow 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
1st week of University in a foreign country, I thought the guy was gay, he was super effeminate. He SA me in a dark room full of people. (we were watching a movies, so no one noticed). My guard stays UP regardless of sexual orientation.
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[–]davisgirl44FDS Newbie 48 points49 points50 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]toredtimetravellerFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]davisgirl44FDS Newbie 40 points41 points42 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]thecrazywitch31FDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Alpha_AriesFDS Newbie 77 points78 points79 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH 122 points123 points124 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (4 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ForeverHoneyFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ForeverHoneyFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thecrazywitch31FDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]ciciplumFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mightyChloeFDS Newbie 227 points228 points229 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]jcebabeFDS Newbie 52 points53 points54 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]fdssavedmylifeFDS Newbie 18 points19 points20 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (6 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]fdssavedmylifeFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]ForeverHoneyFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ForeverHoneyFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]fdssavedmylifeFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lost_Kale90FDS Apprentice 49 points50 points51 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]fdssavedmylifeFDS Newbie 37 points38 points39 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thinktwiceorelseFDS Newbie 43 points44 points45 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH 32 points33 points34 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]chinchaslythFDS Newbie 167 points168 points169 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH 53 points54 points55 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MissDesignDivaFDS Newbie 89 points90 points91 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sleepykittnFDS Newbie 86 points87 points88 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LongirlFDS Newbie 26 points27 points28 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MOzarkiteFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]melonmagellanFDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]psilocybeanieFDS Newbie 21 points22 points23 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie 14 points15 points16 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]IAteTheDragonFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fds_account58 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]idiayFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ello-mottoFDS Apprentice 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]StrawberryMoon3FDS Apprentice 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Wildestrose1988Pickmeisha™️ 11 points12 points13 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]BbqchilifriesFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Wildestrose1988Pickmeisha™️ 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Wildestrose1988Pickmeisha™️ 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]300peachesFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]KittycaramackarelFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]BbqchilifriesFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]faux_maux_FDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (10 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]hoIds_up_sporkFDS Disciple 137 points138 points139 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]sleepykittnFDS Newbie 53 points54 points55 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]throhawey123FDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (4 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[+][deleted] (3 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[+][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Bubbly-Risk-3758FDS Newbie 734 points735 points736 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]pickmieshaexorcistFDS Disciple 284 points285 points286 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jiou112FDS Newbie 120 points121 points122 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]moonartemis1989FDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]toredtimetravellerFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]moonartemis1989FDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]descending_angelFDS Newbie 28 points29 points30 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Affectionate-Rush893FDS Newbie 47 points48 points49 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]r4nd0m-u53rFDS Newbie 330 points331 points332 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]purasangriaRuthless Strategist 66 points67 points68 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ZayelleFDS Newbie 88 points89 points90 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]r4nd0m-u53rFDS Newbie 89 points90 points91 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ZayelleFDS Newbie 41 points42 points43 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]_queeeen_FDS Newbie 101 points102 points103 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BasieSkanksRuthless Strategist 176 points177 points178 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]StrawberryMoon3FDS Apprentice 27 points28 points29 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]PartypuppersFDS Apprentice 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]StrawberryMoon3FDS Apprentice 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]marasloveFDS Newbie 62 points63 points64 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]XRozeFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]StrawberryMoon3FDS Apprentice 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]KompottkopfFDS Newbie 119 points120 points121 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]yolosunshine 57 points58 points59 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]orangechickengeneralFDS Newbie 35 points36 points37 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BbqchilifriesFDS Newbie 83 points84 points85 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]yolosunshine 17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]nymphaetamineFDS Disciple 36 points37 points38 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]KompottkopfFDS Newbie 18 points19 points20 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]nymphaetamineFDS Disciple 14 points15 points16 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]KompottkopfFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]nymphaetamineFDS Disciple 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MySonderStoryFDS Newbie 18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SewudFDS Apprentice 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RewindsunshineThrowaway Account 88 points89 points90 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AocwannabeFDS Apprentice 87 points88 points89 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH 37 points38 points39 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fun_Tangerine4494FDS Newbie 52 points53 points54 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]StrawberryMoon3FDS Apprentice 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]oh_shit_oh_fuckFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]LikelyWritingFDS Newbie 41 points42 points43 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MadameDestructionFDS Newbie 39 points40 points41 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]savedempathFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]StrawberryMoon3FDS Apprentice 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]funky_wormsFDS Newbie 36 points37 points38 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sleepykittnFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Emergency-Feed8216FDS Apprentice 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ConfusedMegladonFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Interesting-Bat3992FDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ferociouslycuriousFDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Imaginary-Driver-767FDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ceramicunicornFDS Disciple 19 points20 points21 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Charming-Bee-2337 14 points15 points16 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]toredtimetravellerFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]New_Article7411Pickmeisha™️ 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]VivaLaSeaFDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]toredtimetravellerFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SmolfrendFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ButterShies 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]f0rnow 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link