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Truer words have never been spoken. Don't believe those fairy tales ladies.

June 12, 2021
3919 upvotes
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Post Information
Title Truer words have never been spoken. Don't believe those fairy tales ladies.
Author azureangel35
Upvotes 3919
Comments 73
Date June 12, 2021 5:25 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/truer-words-have-never-been-spoken-dont-believe.782835
https://theredarchive.com/post/782835
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nybqnq/truer_words_have_never_been_spoken_dont_believe/
Comments

[–]binbeenbetterFDS Newbie 581 points582 points  (23 children) | Copy Link

I just saw an article on twitter about a group of seven boys between 10-12 year old raping a 10 year old girl. How are kids that young already so fucked up?? Porn of course

[–]azureangel35FDS Apprentice[S] 449 points450 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I saw similar story about 14yr old gang raped by boys 12-14. She killed herself. and still, no one is listening.

[–]thatjimmyloveFDS Newbie 162 points163 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is horrific did they find anything concrete connecting porn to the incidents or are they going to spin the good old "born evil" thing

[–]azureangel35FDS Apprentice[S] 151 points152 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

probably will depend on how much money their parents have 😥 but honestly? my first thought was thank god she's no longer suffering. everything was put online like Stubenville. I'm not sure I could live through something that horrific. my heart breaks for her and the repetition of 'ALLEGEDLY' makes me homicidal.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9643371/amp/Girl-14-kills-gang-raped-Belgian-cemetery-five-attackers.html

[–]throwaway88043468FDS Newbie 146 points147 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

Used to be that these kinds of things were HUGE red flags for sexual abuse. Kids shouldn't even be able to conceptualize sexual assaults and act it out, it has to be learned. But porn consumption (especially the hardcore mainstream shit) and sexual abuse have similarly traumatizing effects on young minds. Whether they're experiencing it or seeing it, they're internalizing the same concept of rape. I usually get hella bashed in libfem spaces for saying this so thank god I'm here, but fr, letting any child consume porn is sexual abuse. Men who love the gross tradition of turning over their porn collections to young boys? They're predators as far as I'm concerned. Just the IDEA of a child seeing it is bad enough, but people are really out here saying 'it's not a big deal,' 'it's just curiosity,' 'it's a rite of passage to manhood,' 'scolding them for watching porn will make them ashamed of their sexuality,' and so on.

I'd muster an ounce of respect for MRAs if they would stop desperately clutching onto their porn and take accountability for their part in sexually abusing/grooming generations of boys by supporting it. If they gave a single shit about men and boys this would be a priority. They moan about how nobody cares about their mental health while they simultaneously support consuming porn. Make it fucking make sense.

[–]XRozeFDS Newbie 73 points74 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Dude you just BLEW MY MIND. Thank you so much. I actually am tearing up bc I’ve been distressed for so long not understanding why I was so sexualized as a child. Why did I fantasize about having sex when I barely understood what it was? Why did I make my Barbies 69? Why did I pretend I was being walked on a leash by an imaginary leather Dom? I distinctly remember doing these things and feeling “sexy” about it when I was literally 6. I hadn’t even seen porn yet. Where did I get these ideas from? I first sought out internet porn when I was 11 and I still remember the keywords I searched on AOL. I remember the name of the website. The way it felt to see the photos. I DID NOT understand those were “actors”. I genuinely thought porn stars WERE what the porn titles said they were. That became my “””fetish””” at fucking 11. Imagine what happens to children whose first exposure to porn is incestual or BDSM???

Seeing porn as a child ABSOLUTELY affected me the way experiencing sexual abuse would have. I am not equating the two as I was not a victim of physical child sex abuse, but based on what I’ve read about how child sex abuse victims behave, I feel like I finally have answers to so many questions about what drove my behavior and sexualization from childhood on.

[–]throwaway88043468FDS Newbie 38 points39 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

If it helps, I wrote that from the perspective of being molested at 3yrs old. It deeply fucked with my psyche, I also sought out internet porn when I was around 11yrs old because of how early my sexuality (or really lack therof) was warped. I was repeatedly raped during my teens because I had nooo idea what healthy sex was. I thought I was just...never supposed to like it. This is a such a heavy topic, I'm really glad what I said resonated with you. It took me years to recover but the veil was lifted once I did!! Cheers sis🤗

[–]XRozeFDS Newbie 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It does help a lot. It’s a life changing paradigm shift for me, honestly. ❤️ Thank you for your openness. It’s so important to tell our stories because others will hear echoes of their own within them. (I believe audre lord wrote that but more eloquently.) Thank you again ❤️

[–]throwaway88043468FDS Newbie 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

♥ :') seriously my pleasure queen! god I love this sub. The best energy

[–]XRozeFDS Newbie 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Me too 😭❤️

[–]StrainingMyNeuronsFDS Newbie 28 points29 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I hope I am wrong, but you may have been either exposed or subjected to what you described. Barbies in 69 might be just a way to stack them, but the other things you described, would not be something a young child would come up with independently. I am just hopeful that maybe you accidentally got a peak of what adults were watching and that was that. But our memory has a way of blocking things out to protect our young developing brain in the moment of trauma. There is also very little evidence to recovered memories, so you might never know what actually happened, but I’d suggest taking this to a psychodynamic (old school) therapist.

[–]XRozeFDS Newbie 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah. I have never told anyone that before writing that comment. But writing it out, it seemed even more odd that my memories. I’m guessing I was exposed to something inappropriate, or someone taught me some inappropriate things 😔

[–]MorthaPFDS Newbie 17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

yeah isn't it actually still illegal and would be considered sexual abuse if an adult shows porn to a child (as it should be ofc) but if said child just finds porn on the internet then it's supposed to have no bad effect??

[–]throwaway88043468FDS Newbie 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly!!! Yes!! This drives me insane

[–]CityOfBirthFDS Newbie 117 points118 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

scolding them for watching porn will make them ashamed of their sexuality,

I'd rather men be ashamed of their sexualities than the mass harm of women caused by their current sexualities

[–]throwaway88043468FDS Newbie 47 points48 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've seen it the most in boymom communities. They throw away the fact that porn is horrible in 38589374 different ways and say something to the effect of "you're going to give him a complex by shaming him for having sexual thoughts." Which is such BS, watching porn =/= having horny thoughts. But the commodification of women is so painfully ingrained, it's excusable to say someone's consumption of it is just equivalent to fantasizing.

[–]RowbloksFDS Newbie 66 points67 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's such a stupid statement, unless they're saying that violence and rape is an inherent part of male sexuality (because it is an extremely pervasive part of porn for sure), in which case men should indeed be ashamed. But it's not an inherent part, I like to believe that most men are capable of not being sexually violent if they're taught not to be that, so shaming hardcore porn and shaming men's sexuality by itself really have really nothing to do with one another.

[–]LWF3957FDS Newbie 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

fr, letting any child consume porn is sexual abuse

One way that pedo's groom girls is exposing them to porn. Seeing those acts, seeing what happens (usually in child porn) will make them more likely to engage in those acts. They're being shown as the normal, healthy, natural thing to do, so the girl squishes that feeling inside herself saying this is wrong and does what the adult says.

[–]BusinessTwistofLimeFDS Newbie 29 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The fact that hardcore and mainstream are being used together in a sentence makes my heart hurt. Those two words shouldn't coexist in a sentence. 🤢I wish men's porn would stop warping innocent children's minds.

[–]StrainingMyNeuronsFDS Newbie 30 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I had a childhood friend, who was from a well to do family, her father was a nationally known architect. He was also a revolting 200kg blob, who used to leave porn tapes lying around in the hallway, and, when my friend saw the shock on my face, said: “oh, it’s just my dad and brother who watch them together”. TOGETHER! The brother was 14 at the time. There were other things, like her father would refer to me as “that friend of yours with big knockers” (we were about 15-16), she also caught him masturbating once (with his bedroom door open), which made me think he left it open on purpose. Then there were other things, like she once tearfully told me how her paternal grandfather used to abuse her when she was little, but the story was so convoluted - apparently he also used to abuse her mother as a child (huh? Her parents only met in uni), then the mother would leave her to be looked after by this grandfather, cause apparently she thought he “wouldn’t do that anymore”. I asked her why she’s not going to the police, especially as she had said she believe other little girls were at risk, but, according to her, her mother had said that “it would taint the family name”. I also remember that her mother was always neurotic, always unhappy and worried about something and for some reason didn’t like her friends visiting. My friend also had a bunch of mental health issues (undiagnosed, but acting out in many ways).

Now, that I am a lot older, I think I am starting to make sense out of it - her father must have been the abuser, my friend wanted to tell and was possibly using the grandfather as a safe way to test whether she would be believed. Her mother knew it all, but refused to do anything about it, as she was more concerned about the money she would lose if her husband got incarcerated, and possibly saw her daughter’s friends not as potential victims of her disgusting scrote of a husband, but as her competition.

[–]vvioletwwitchFDS Newbie 181 points182 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men are brought up with a romanticised image of women too, but what they get is women sidekicks who’s affection will be won by acts of romance and heroism who then become subservient property of the man. You can see that this influences men to think that if they act in a certain way that they are entitled to the subject of their affections. Its why the act comes right down when women reject them, because it’s not authentic and doesn’t come from a place of love or caring. It’s like they’re conditioned not to see women as real people and they can be unlocked with a formula. Then as they get older they discover porn which just reinforces this, that women only exist for the pleasure and servitude of men. Unfortunately, most men don’t self reflect on this though and just blame women for not acting the way they believe they should.

[–]aquarieuxFDS Newbie 162 points163 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This has been on my mind ever since I read that quote from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie that goes "We praise girls for virginity but we don't praise boys for virginity (and it makes me wonder how exactly this is supposed to work out, since the loss of virginity is a process that usually involves two people of opposite genders)."

"Lambs for the slaughter" is an incredibly haunting way to put it as well, and it really is the truth.

[–]bleda_princeznaFDS Newbie 424 points425 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Sad how true this is. By the time women realize this is the reality we live in, they have so many bad experiences they need thousands of dollars for therapy.

[–]azureangel35FDS Apprentice[S] 247 points248 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

and we've wasted seasons/years/decades. it's not an accident.

[–]thatjimmyloveFDS Newbie 142 points143 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am so happy I have found FDS so early on , you queens are saving me I was the kinkmeisha of kinkmeishas

[–]dembar126FDS Newbie 84 points85 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Ah, you've described my life.

[–]bleda_princeznaFDS Newbie 44 points45 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, mine as well

[–]XRozeFDS Newbie 35 points36 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

same

[–]europoor24FDS Newbie 29 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

same, I'm just glad I learn fairly quickly

[–]missgelassenheitFDS Newbie 26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

True for me too

[–]AcadiaLeather5071Ruthless Strategist 102 points103 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

It’s like... women’s first experiences with men are traumatic. Just because of how men are socialised to treat the women they date/ have sex with. Teenage boys haven’t been socialised to understand empathy and selflessness like girls are. They’re also taught that women’s bodies are trophies and that it’s okay to lie and manipulate to get what they want.

If I had a daughter I’d 1. Pray that she’s a lesbian or asexual... and 2. Send her to an all girls school and ban her from dating men until she graduates.

But having a daughter is basically just bringing a lamb to a slaughterhouse.

[–]Quick-Supermarket-43 48 points49 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My parents banned me from dating until I graduated, and I went to an all girls Catholic school. I ended up with an abusive lecturer who fully took advantage of me. It is no guarantee. I feel teenage girls who have found out what teenage boys are really like smarten up by the time they are in their 20s.

[–]RowbloksFDS Newbie 32 points33 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Send her to an all girls school and ban her from dating men until she graduates.

The all girls school part is a great idea I think, but I'm pretty sure that banning a teen from dating never works. If they meet someone that they like, they will do it anyway 9 times out of 10.

I think it's best to not impose any bans, but instead just tell true anecdotes about scrotes being untrustworthy, disrespectful, disappointing, dangerous etc and she'll decide to stay away from them all by herself out of (justified) fear

[–]sillychipmunk0101 33 points34 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Better not. Don't have a daughter. For the sake of Goddess. Don't create another baby making machine and rape victim for men. NATURALLY don't have sons too, our world does not need more rapey pedophilic porn-addicted scrotes.

Pray that she’s a lesbian or asexual...

She most likely won't. Bad idea

Send her to an all girls school and ban her from dating men until she graduates.

This just sounds like a strict upbringing we all had from our mothers and ended up resenting her and joining libfem to feel the freedom. Bad idea.

[–]jasmine-blossom 238 points239 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Raising girls and boys on porn is also raising lambs for slaughter.

[–]hiraethsidharthaFDS Newbie 216 points217 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

This was my thought when I read this too. Girls are raised on both on the mad disney romance ideal and hardcore porn. It is some crazy cognitive dissonant stuff.

I am really grateful that I don't have kids at the moment. I worry so much about both my younger siblings and the kids of my close friends.

When I was small it was hard and confusing but with the amping up of social media and the instagramation of everything it honestly fills me with dread.

[–]srkambbs1FDS Newbie 58 points59 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's like girls wanna do all the romcom stuff outdoors but then expected to do hardcore stuff in the bedroom. It would definitely take a toll on the mental health.

[–]RowbloksFDS Newbie 49 points50 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

And unfortunately, their solution to solve that cognitive dissonance is to convince themselves that they like the hardcore stuff and they don't find it degrading at all.

And then you find some of them on some subs here making posts about how low their self-esteem is low and wondering why they have a hard time regularly sleeping with their partner, who chokes them and calls them misogynistic slurs in the bedroom

[–]XRozeFDS Newbie 43 points44 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Speaking from personal experience, it makes sense to convince ourselves we enjoy the hardcore stuff bc we have no tools or resources to give us better coping skills. It’s so hard to find men who will actually commit to a relationship that we think performing like a porn star is a small compromise. It’s not until we’re older and men expect our labor in numerous other forms in return for commitment -cooking, cleaning, paying 50/50 and birthing and raising kids- that we finally wake up and say fuck you, you don’t deserve my sexual labor too

[–]RowbloksFDS Newbie 22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It’s not until we’re older and men expect our labor in numerous other forms in return for commitment -cooking, cleaning, paying 50/50 and birthing and raising kids- that we finally wake up and say fuck you, you don’t deserve my sexual labor too

Bingo. Plus at least cooking and cleaning is not degrading, everyone has to do that at some point in their lives. But having to let someone do unnatural and gross things to your body for his pleasure definitely is. It makes sense that once women can make themselves valuable in other ways, the sexual way is the first thing to go.

I also understand that women (people in general) delude themselves to deal with a lack of alternative ways to cope... I do wish that more women saw remaining single and building strong bonds with their female friends as a viable alternative though.

Men say terrible things about women but at the end of the day, they don't like to be single either. They want a woman in their life. So if all women enforced high standards together, men would actually defer to those standards.

Women forget too often that they have power over men who find them attractive. They're always scared that if they don't do something, the guy will move on to another girl who will. And for many guys that's true (especially the guys who don't really like you and are wasting your time, so good riddance actually) but there are guys who like their girlfriend enough to bend to her standards to avoid losing her... the catch is just that they will never admit to it.

Men act tougher than they are. All the time. As a woman, it's very important to be able to tell when a man really isn't into you and when a man likes you but acts low value just to see how much you'll let him get away with (which happens a LOT in relationships). Women need to be taught the art of calling a man's bluff and the art of being ready to leave a scrote immediately when he starts to slack on purpose ("when" not "if", it's that common). The woman is the prize, because the woman invests more into the relationship. Women should not be acting in any way other than the prize in a relationship.

But because of all the not-all-men-ism going on, and the "women and men are exactly the same, none is more predatory than the other" propaganda, women are now shamed for having a healthy distrust of men. They're encouraged to be naive even if it increases their risk of giving the wrong scrote a chance and having her whole life ruined because of it (either through assault or because she had a kid with him).

Relationships with men are only worth it if you're ready to threaten that you'll leave him and ready to follow through on that threat the second that the guy violates your standards.

[–]FluffandRaincloudsRuthless Strategist 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Based. This is the heart and soul of FDS. We cannot expect men to save us or act right, and we need to be ready to walk. Not beg, cajole, coach, convince, or (worse) rationalize to ourselves. We have been brainwashed by big porn and libfem (usually such industries are all about the dollars/euros) to accept double standards. No more. I'm not going to modify my body to a man's taste, dress up to his taste, cater to his twisted violent fantasies, or be the giver mommy mcbangmaid women are expected to be.

[–]NemesisNoireFDS Newbie 16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

even the phrase, "fuck you" needs to be rethought. no more fucking. it's not even sex. it's not a mutual pleasurable experience.

[–]goldenbih 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

i used to be into things like that but now it’s just weird. i don’t want to be chocked, let me breathe. i don’t want my hair pulled, i lost enough hair after birthing my son. i don’t want to be grabbed on all the time when i’m minding my own business. i’m not an object you can do with as you wish. i’m my own person and want to be respected.

[–]Mella_20FDS Newbie 72 points73 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

And the men know that we've been fed this fairy tale poison too. Its shown in how they will say anything to get in our pants. We are taught to put men on a pedestal and men are taught to devalue women.

In Disney movies and our childhood TV shows, men are always shown to be the prize or the "popular guy" or prince, and the woman's main goal is to get picked by him. Always. So we have low standards, and tolerate horrible behavior because getting picked was enough.

Its sickening. And I think women should stop fucking and marrying men until men get it through their heads that they are not the prize.

[–]anotherdamnloserFDS Newbie 47 points48 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

One hundred percent this

[–]McccyFDS Disciple 274 points275 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

It's honestly disturbing how many girls are so naive about boys, it really is a recipe for disaster

[–]XRozeFDS Newbie 231 points232 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

and women too. most mothers who grew up in the 70s and 80s were so unprepared to raise daughters in a pornified rape culture. so many of them are unknowing victims themselves of porn addicted husbands who started watching it on the internet at the same time as their pre-teen sons.

[–]nnanna11FDS Newbie 186 points187 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

porn is the worst thing that’s happened to women in generation z. millennial lib-fems and misogynists normalized porn by making buzzfeed articles that promoted it as ‘healthy’.

[–]XRozeFDS Newbie 127 points128 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Preeeetty much. Tbh tho millennials grew up in it and were powerless to stop it until recently. We were the first children without fully developed brains who stumbled onto hardcore porn on an unregulated internet market. In our adolescence we bought into all the lies about how sex would set us free that the media sold us. When we got to college and faced the harsh reality we tried to treat the symptom by fighting against rape culture. We got shouted down by the young men who raped us and silenced by the institutions who allowed it to happen. Now that we’re all adults with more power -some of us in our 40s-, millennial women need to all stand up against porn culture instead of repeating the cycle for Gen z and Gen alpha.

Edit to add - I wish I could scoop up all the girls in Gen z and take them to a planet that wouldn’t treat them the way I was

[–]nnanna11FDS Newbie 66 points67 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

i’m happy there’s still women with fds mentality. or else the future generation of girls would be screwed. millennial women were raised in the era of pornography— so i can’t really blame lib-fems for gaslighting themselves. that it was ‘normaaaaal’ to watch porn in a relationship— or single.

[–]XRozeFDS Newbie 47 points48 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I facepalm so hard at my young self. I was so brainwashed.

[–]LadyGrimesFDS Disciple 18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I want to know why porn became free to access in the first place. It wasn't like that in the early 2000's I recall all the sites needing credit cards for access. It really leaves me to believe there was sinister purpose behind it, like the people wanted to see society and relationships destroyed.

[–]XRozeFDS Newbie 10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

ME TOO. I feel the same exact way. It seems like cyber warfare

[–]LadyGrimesFDS Disciple 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It really does and its ruined both men and women. This is why it's such a relief to have a community like FDS, because so many of us know this shit is fucked up and jack all is being done to stop it.

[–]ucompostFDS Newbie 104 points105 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Reminds me of a lupe fiasco song “bitch bad woman good” that perfectly describes how women and men are on polar opposites when being brought up in this society.

[–]lansburysodaFDS Newbie 93 points94 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

It used to be that both girls & boys were brought up on romance because porn was difficult to access and heavily stigmatized. Now, boys are being exposed to violent pornography before they’ve even started puberty. In a way, it’s not initially their fault. I blame big tech and their parents.

[–]azureangel35FDS Apprentice[S] 70 points71 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

this is such an important point. my ex used to talk about what a treat it was to catch a glimpse of a topless pic in his dad's playboy. that shit is downright wholesome comparatively speaking. 😥

[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 30 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My second boyfriend had just as bad porn addiction and all the markers of porn induced sociopathy by 21 from Penthouse magazines 🤷‍♀️

[–]Important_Page_6846FDS Newbie 29 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’ve been saying this for so long, go to a locker room full of boys in middle school and see how different the discussions are compared to the locker room full of girls. We for some reason completely ignore what boys discuss and do at such a young age while keeping such a short leash on girls almost so males can get a leg up so to speak since girls mature faster mentally and are just superior on the mental front. The naivety they force on girls while secretly giving boys methods and porn so they get a leg up on keeping the patriarchy right in place for their future male offspring they covet so much.

[–]HhjjuuyFDS Apprentice 173 points174 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

We really shouldn't act like the romance women are raised on is antithetical to porn. It's pretty heavy social programming in support of the patriarchy. While porn causes direct harm to women that romance does not they both have long ranging consequences rife with misogyny and contribute to women's subjugation on a societal scale alongside material harm on a personal level.

[–]Strict_Leopard1707Throwaway Account 154 points155 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I don't think they're suggesting that romance is necessarily better than porn. I interpreted it as girls and boys both being fed dangerous unrealistic fantasies, just very different ones.

[–]XRozeFDS Newbie 110 points111 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

exactly and how romantic love is the carrot on the stick that men use to keep women performing like pick me cool girl porn stars

[–]RowbloksFDS Newbie 27 points28 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This just made me realize why so many men support the production of these romantic movies. When something genuinely benefits women and only women scrotes do everything they can to make it disappear. Romantic movies are still around because scrotes benefit from making women believe that guys like in the movies exist. Wow.

[–]XRozeFDS Newbie 20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Youre so right. Romantic movies are literally male funded, written and produced propaganda for the patriarchy.

The discussions that happen on FDS are truly fucking revolutionary feminist thought.

[–]ALISHAISHERE123FDS Newbie 49 points50 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Both make women and girls easy prey for men and boys.

[–]LadyKaitlynFDS Newbie 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

“Underachieving slacker man finds amazing accomplished woman who expects nothing from him, strings her along and frustrates her until the last minute when he reveals his feelings for her because she’s about to leave.” So RoMaNtIC 🙄

[–]paperwasp3FDS Newbie 49 points50 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly this. Rom Coms are not real. And porn is an unrealistic version of sex. Be sex positive- but make sure you’re emphasizing Positive. Life isn’t a movie, it’s messier than that.

[–]fireforestfairyFDS Apprentice 16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This. Women grow up with idea of finding "the love of their life". Meanwhile, men are conditioned into wanting a hot "official" SO to have a family with and countless other "girlfriends" for unlimited sex.

[–]midwesternwindsFDS Newbie 33 points34 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Loving romance is perfectly fine. There's ton of good romance novels out there. Terrible rom coms written by socially awkward men who want a Cool Girl? That's bad but that's different. And also super different from the p0rn epidemic going on with boys.

[–]Salt_SatisfactionFDS Disciple 18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah they're hard to find but if it wasn't for certain romance books/movies/any other format, I wouldn't have had any examples of a FDS romantic relationship to look up to. I still haven't personally seen a FDS relationship in real life but I know they're possible. I find that men complaining about romance media for women are usually just complaining about meeting those standards.

[–]t3ddiFDS Newbie 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is exactly right.

[–]fak_beauty_standardsFDS Newbie 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This and redpill. Don't forget the redpill. While porn makes them indifferent to out suffering, trp makes them want to make us suffer. Porn influence is not nearly as bad.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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