I dropped a friend a few months ago. Just because although people think she’s super confident and an angel there were microaggressive elements of jealousy and competition and comparison coming from her unsolicited in the relationship.

Just reminded of when I stopped dealing with a guy at work we knew in common. In actuality, he’d been sexually inappropriate with me. Trying to date me and just generally trying to get his d-ck in. Trying to bring up things with sleazy innuendo and trying to get inappropriately involved in my personal and dating life to the point of trying to get between me and other men there on the job he felt i must be too close too and demanding to know if we see each other and getting angry. Anyway, although I couldn’t report him at work because our HR is ineffective, I cut him off for his inappropriateness and just decided not to deal with him entirely.

Fast forward, this guy is friends with one of the old secretaries on the job and would be whispering and gossiping with her constantly just like a little bitch. The old secretary is in turn friends with my “friend”.

I can tell he ran to the old secretary with- he don’t know what wrong with me. I don’t deal with him anymore wah wah wah. I’m so moody. I got female moods and you don’t know how I’m gone be one day to the next. Fucked in the head.

And she in turn ran to my “friend” with it. I didn’t realize it at the time but this friend had always been jealous of me and kinda wanting to see me fail. Next time friend calls she tries to casually lay into me asking about the guy, obviously already having heard we don’t talk/ fell out. Asking in a rude and aggressive over loud snappish tone like she’s calling me out on smthng or exposing me- Oh how is x guy doing????!!!! Is he ok??? It’s obvious she’s found out through other means he and I don’t talk much and is stirring the pot. I say “good I assume. we don’t run into each other much”. I get in this aggressive tone *But you still see each other right???? You talk??! You get along??!!”

It was super obvious she heard something about the rift and her and the other woman discussed it like I was the problem- mental and moody. Don’t know what you’re gonna get from her one day to the next. It was obviously discussed like it was typical of me- I’m a litttle bitchy and problematic and don’t know how to get along with people

In actuality, he was sexually inappropriate with me. The irony is she’s incredibly bossy and boundaried and would’ve shut him down for just 1/10 of the things I could cite but was trying to shame me as problematic for not dealing with him.

I just woke up thinking about how wrong it was for her to get aggressive with me trying to slickly suggest I was the problem and needed to be put in line/ corrected on how to deal with people appropriately and with class. Meanwhile she doesn’t even know the story

Ironically, she’s made a slew of pick me mistakes and always tries to seem very girl boss ish and correct and smart with them. She married a poor guy 20 years older than her who is controlling. She was desperate for babies so had a sped up rebound courtship with him where I don’t think she saw his true face. She immediately got baby trapped by him, pregnant out of wedlock just a few months into dating him and then trapped with another baby just a year later, in addition to his 2 kids from a previous marriage where the wife left him.

In spite of this people view her as so boss and in control of her life and think I’m the one constantly needs to be questioned on what they’re doing or making mistakes.

I didn’t think of it at the time but I was basically being sexually harassed by the guy and was gaslit and blamed, shamed as moody and crazy by her for setting boundaries and refusing to deal with him

Why would a real friend jump to that conclusion and then come for my neck on it in an ugly way without first hearing why I cut someone off.

Your immediate move is to assume he couldn’t have done anything wrong and i’m just difficult and bitchy??

It’s ironic that she tried to come for my neck on things that weren’t even really mistakes or failings while I graciously avoided making her feel bad or calling out any of her very real life mistakes above, the list of which rolls out the door.

What a bitch, pick me. I didn’t think of her in those terms before because she plays super confident and in charge on the outside but anyone quick to disbelieve or blame a woman really kind of is

Look closely at your friend group. Women who instantly believe you’re the problem or acting up, being crazy moody in any dispute with a man, ain’t your friends

Feels good to be free of her. I didn’t recognize her jealousy for a long time but she obviously learned i didn’t talk with the guy, who was just an acquaintance anymore. So she calls in this super aggressive tone demanding to know about him, thinking she’s being smart and snatching the sheet off me, exposing me for some failure in my ability to maintain relationships with people.

Bitch.