Everyone is usually on their "best behavior" when you first meet them. I refer to that as their representative but no one can hold on to that for long. Eventually you'll start seeing them break apart from that. The mask slips, they can't keep it on forever.

As soon as you see contradicting behavior, or something you consider "out of character" from their typical personality, watch out for that. Men in particular because they have many, many strategies in the manosphere that they will use to manipulate women. And they have no morals in regards to tricking and using women for their benefit.

Even if something "feels" off, it's your intuition/instincts picking up on something. Not everyone is who they appear to be. People wear masks and come off as charming when they're really conniving. People are NOT one dimensional, they have many different aspects. Some guys are just pieces of shit, you'll know up front. Some are sneakier and covert.

Don't tell them what you're looking for. Don't tell them what kind of guys you like. Don't reveal past abuse or how many people you've had sex with. Observe him. Be evasive and redirect any questions back at him.