Wealthy men aren’t always high value men.

I was talking to someone from the sub who mentioned that a guide to wealthy men/ high value men could be useful, specifically to point out how “high value man” is not a synonym for “man with money”.

Money is obviously an important part of female dating strategy because we want to feel invested in right? We’re looking for a sign that the guy is serious about you and responsible for himself. Although earning good money is a sign that his life is together, he’s ambitious, responsible, hardworking and has been consistent, it doesn’t mean he’s a good or kind person who will respect you.

So I’ll just get straight into it. To understand what $X money means to a wealthy man, and also to understand when the guy is exaggerating his wealth, you need to have a good grip on the general scale of wealth.

In the U.K. the top 5% is anyone earning £80k or more. Top private schools cost £40k a year. A house in London will cost seven figures. This sounds like a boring economics lesson, but it really helps you to determine what is disposable income to a man. In other words if he owns a property in a big city (or even just rents a nice place in a nice area) has no children, is in his 30s, then £500 isn’t a big deal for him. He’s in a certain tax bracket and he has disposable income, so don’t be fooled into thinking his spending a sign that he’s invested in you as a person.

Here is a profile on how you can become a wealthy guy.

1. Good Honest Hard Work over a lifetime - I’m referring to the men who are actually high value, responsible and ethical and very wealthy. They just worked their way up from wherever they were, and reaped the benefits. Top signs of a HVM who is wealthy, is he’ll be friendly, confident and comfortable talking to other men, whether they’re younger, less wealthy, older etc.

You might notice that wealthy LVM flirt shamelessly with the female waitress but bark at the staff at the airport, and talk down to younger men. They might altogether not talk to other men. Those are the men who are ashamed of their journey and don’t like to be reminded of their youth, their competition or the time they weren’t as wealthy. They have fragile masculinity because they value themselves only by their money.

2. Hard work with the added privilege of having come from wealth - Not all privileged people earn what their parents earned, so its worth pointing out that what may look like his money might actually be partly Daddy’s money. Beware of the phonies who like looking generous but are spending parent’s money. That’s not investment, that’s money transfer.

Alternatively these ones might have had success young, and generally might have been sheltered by privilege. This is not a criticism, it’s just a fact of life. There weren’t gaps in their opportunities. Because of this, some of these men are unaware of the power and weight of wealth. They are they guys who can put women in uncomfortable positions by overspending, leaving the woman feeling like she’s in some sort of debt. But high value men are emotionally intelligent, so don’t settle for feeling uncomfortable.

On the other hand, they might no exactly how powerful money can be, and use it to guilt you. While wealthy is their norm, they might fully understand that it’s not the norm for the woman they’re dating. They might act as if they’re sacrificing their blood sweat and tears to invest in you, when actually they’re fairly comfortable.

3. Spending entire youth doing nothing but work - some men got great jobs straight out of graduation, and end up working in emotionally oppressive but rewarding environments in the city. Although they could be earning seven figures a year by their mid thirties, it doesn’t mean they have their shit together emotionally. The first ten years of their careers were likely gruelling. Insane hours, no time for sustained intimacy, and emotionally void. This makes for bad relationship habits because they just don’t have the emotional skills to empathise. Sometimes guys like this kept themselves motivated by thinking “one day I’ll be a wealthy senior figure who can buy the dream life including female attention, or a young hot 22 year old”. DON’T BE FOOLED. Some of those guys don’t have souls.

I’m not saying anyone who had this career path is emotionally stunted - I think it’s just important to check that guys like this have done the work or therapy they need to process the “lost time” they might have experienced.

3)Narcissism! It’s higher in men than women and in the most basic sense it’s a toxic defence mechanism. Although we can all agree narcissists are “unwell”, they’re not really suffering any ailment besides self pity. Low empathy + self consciousness + a big ego + obsession with status + no passions or interests = wealth. What else would they spend their time on?

Narcissist operate by love bombing which often comes in the form of gifts and material things. Some narcissists genuinely believe they’re in love, but they’re so emotionally damaged that they only see the world in superficial gestures. Other narcissists know exactly what they’re doing and intentionally give “generously” because they don’t want you to leave them. These guys are just bad apples - they might have many people in rotation if they can afford it, but they might act like it’s just you.

Narcissists are the ones who show off about their money. While the others I mentioned might downplay their wealth to make it look like their sacrificing it for you, the narcs tactic is more of a “look at my success, you’d be a fool to walk away from all the perks”. They usually make big promises relating to money and a shared life together. Or they’ll pretend to be invested in your goals, by literally pledging to make a money investment. Beware! These guys are actually very stingy. Lavish spending can turn into neglect real quick. Do not mess with narcissists if you want to keep your sanity, good health, and glowing skin.

Overall the lesson when it comes to money is, don’t accept overspending. It usually comes at a price. Don’t be financially vulnerable with ANY man, and always have a backup plan money wise. And finally don’t fall into the trap of thinking that the more a guy spends on you the higher value you are.