I wrote a rant recently on Bridgerton...which then made me google Shonda Rhimes and listen to some of her talks. The irony is that she produced a show selling us a story about love and submission when she, herself, is buying none of that. She said she had a dream job...but it was just job and no dream, she never attends parties and work most of the time...although she loves what she's doing.

Anna Wintour being part of the glamorous fashion scene? She's known for showing up to parties few minutes and disappear. Also she doesn't drink....where am I going with that?

Well, successful women have developed an ability to enjoy different kinds of pleasure: the one of true accomplishments that does not derive from immediate pleasure (usually men) which keeps us stuck on the same level. I experienced it in my work and believe me it has nothing to do with the fleeting exhilaration of infatuation. It's deeper and you feel very much in control....and more importantly you derive a great sense of pride from it because it was not handed to you and you don't depend on anyone else to be happy. The risk is workaholism but I'd chose that any time over being love drunk.

I think that what we desire, and how we gain pleasure and joy is extremely crucial for our success and I'm so mad at these women in power for selling us a "dream" or an illusion should I say, when real empowerment implies that we learn to delay gratification (the attention from boys, dating as a distraction...). For me it's in continuation with training oneself to have truly empowering desire: this fuckboy? A total turn off. This healthy respectful guy? That's attractive, let's allow him to prove himself.

Now let's get to the next step and examine how we recreate, what makes us dream and where we want to put our focus, because these are not just in our heads...they end up dictating what we seek.

In 2021, we need more pleasures, more entertainment and more conversations that have nothing to do with men and that bring us long term benefits.