What's your mAlE FemInISt story?

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-10-25T18:17:44+00:00

Yeah I was with a guy who was "super feminist" and had a minor in women's studies. We even had many in-depth conversations about feminism and he had a real good grasp on it. After we dated for a while he became abusive. He got upset that I wouldn't engage when he would have his narcissistic rage fits. When I told him that he couldn't be an abuser and also a feminist he said "well I'm not a feminist anymore then."

LilyChickadee · 2020-10-25T19:58:34+00:00

Male feminist was in a literature class with me, always talked about his girlfriend that he loved. Always talked about feminism.

I remember him read my writing once and said “awww it’s cute how hard you try.” Lmao. I got an A+ in the course and he got a C and hated our professor with a passion.

He invited me to his house for a house party which was with him and his roommate. I remember they burped and I was like “I can do you one better” and let out a huge belch and he was like “sweetie, no.”

We all watched a movie and I fell asleep on the couch. I thought I was safe as he said he was a feminist, had a girlfriend, and knew I had a boyfriend. I woke up to him rubbing my thighs. Starting at my knees and going father and farther up. I honestly didn’t know what to do, i froze after first hoping if I “didn’t wake up” he would stop, but when he didn’t I excused myself to the restroom and called my boyfriend to pick me up.

I never spoke to him again. I wish I had told his girlfriend. I still had him on my old tumblr and looked him up, he is obsessed anime and is transitioning now. Thankfully, it appears his girlfriend escaped.

2020-10-25T18:42:02+00:00

First ex - called himself a feminist, acted very interested in my thoughts, explained how "progressive" polyamory was and that he thought it would be hot for us to have a threesome. Last I heard, he's living with his mom. Makes sense for a man who can neither cook nor deal with his own laundry.

God, but I was dumb at 21.

sailorstrong · 2020-10-25T19:20:14+00:00

A very public man in my community claims to be a Male Feminist.

Yet had no issue choking my gf who he had a FWB relationship. Non-consentually, did not stop when she panicked and asked him to stop. And he did it multiple times.

Piece. Of. Shit.

Sister_Winter · 2020-10-25T20:14:15+00:00

A very notable "male feminist" worked at my university and was of one of the left-wing political clubs. He paid sooo much lip service to consent, male privilege, etc. He also had a long sexual relationship with (raped) a girl who was in her mid teens. He also harassed my then-20 twin sister (he was in his 30s at the time) and made her so uncomfortable that she quit that club, despite loving it. It all came crashing down when she publicly called him out on facebook a few years back. So many women came forward after she did and he had to leave his lucrative job on campus where he had easy access to young, inexperienced women.

ahsiemkcip · 2020-10-25T20:41:01+00:00

I was at university and feeling super vulnerable after getting out of a long relationship (big surprise he turned out to be a LVM who dated me at 14 when he was 19) when I met a guy who seemed lovely and was happy to have a FWB-style thing with me while I recovered. After multiple red flags such as telling others we were in a serious relationship, awful hygiene, horrible slut shaming and comments about other women and his exes I told him I was ending the the WB part of our FWB and that we could just be friends. The next time I saw him alone he ended up raping me.

Afterwards he became the beacon of mAlE fEmInISm. He wrote blog posts about how important consent was, always endorsed sex positivity (with an emphasis on porn and prostitution of course), was always talking about how women are equal and the rest of it blah, blah, blah. He was only doing it out of guilt and in case I exposed him.

So yeah “male feminists” are gross. If they wanted to support and protect women they’d quietly do just that, letting us speak with our own voices.

SeaNegotiation8 · 2020-10-26T08:08:33+00:00

Knew a “male feminist” from school.

He was such an awesome feminist that he campaigned for a leadership position as president of a local feminist organization.

He became irrationally angry because he lost. To a woman.

Let me repeat that. He was angry because a woman won an election to lead a women’s organization. Instead of him, a man.

Wise-Jelly · 2020-10-25T22:58:02+00:00

The woke Boston "bro" who took me to the esplanade for a picnic date right before covid hit. He was espousing all of his liberal beliefs in "feminism" but then got irrationally angry and started blowing up my phone after I went home because I didn't have sex with him on the first date.

LevelTurbulent · 2020-10-26T00:56:34+00:00

My ex husband. He's such a feminist and cares so much about women that he beats the living shit out of them and then takes pictures of their naked, bruised bodies with dildos and buttplugs sticking out of their holes and posts them on the Internet.

Clearly he cares so much about empowering women.

HungryExamination · 2020-10-26T06:53:32+00:00

Theres almost too many. My friends man (they have a child together) who is openly left, political, feminist. She does almost all the childcare and domestic chores and has done for years. The woke lecturer I 'dated' who nevertheless treated me like a sex service industry. The teacher i dated with 'The Second Sex' on his bedside table who wanted me to dress up for sex but flipped his lid and called me a 'fucker' when I jokingly suggested I'd get him a g-string to wear in return.

Fortunately open 'allies' ended up on my shit list and life has never been better. If you think about it, the act of broadcasting your allyship is suspicious.

m_inthemiddle · 2020-10-26T01:37:30+00:00

NVM ex claimed to be a feminist, and when I told him that a senior man at my work had said something very sexist and offensive to a female colleague, ex told me that I needed to leave that job and it reflected bad on my to stay. That’s right, it wasn’t the senior man at work who was the problem, it was somehow my problem. So, I should leave my job because some old guy at work can’t behave. And, the icing on the cake was that he claimed that he couldn’t work anywhere where that happened. Boy, you wouldn’t even speak up if something like that happened! And, you probably wouldn’t even hear about it, because women tend to tell those things to other women, not men at work.

romantickitty · 2020-10-25T22:28:25+00:00

It's been a while so tbf, I don't remember if this guy self-identified as a feminist. But he did name check bell hooks to me on our first date. I was not in a great place personally so I found myself charmed by his ability to have a thoughtful intellectual conversation even though he displayed alarming energy in our written communications before and after that date. At the time, I thought he just didn't have the best grasp on his mental health. But he was certainly able to try to make me jealous (it didn't work) hinting about the other women he was seeing and sleeping with. Now, after reading the FDS handbook, I wonder if all that confessional, manic energy and the lovebombing (like, he actually said he was falling in love with me) was just a manipulative way of making me open up to him emotionally and throwing off my ability to maintain distance and perspective.

2020-10-25T21:08:32+00:00

Any man who thinks porn and sexuality is EMPOWERING for women. It's not empowering to be used as a flesh light to a man who isn't nuts about you and committed. I'm not even having sex till marriage anymore because guys just use you as a forever girlfriend and then it's been three years and you've been giving them your body risking pregnancy for what? Nice for what? #prude2020

2020-10-26T03:56:43+00:00

One former friend of mine loved to pat himself on the back for being a male feminist.

One time we browsed the internet looking at female genitalia and he would tell me all the ideal looking types (photoshopped and surgically altered) and the "gross" kinds - anything that looked natural.

He told me he specifically sought out prostitutes of different races to "try them out"...like women are different flavors of ice cream or something.

My days of trying to be a cool girl really fucked me up ugh.

vitryolic · 2020-10-26T09:16:53+00:00

Dated a 'male feminist' for nearly a year (pre FDS), and it transpired he had treated every single woman he had ever dated like shit, but still kept saying he believed in feminism when he had even admitted to treating women badly.

So women should have the right to vote, equal pay, abortion rights... but the ones you have sex with are not deserving of respect? WHAT?!

He was also extremely porn sick, had paid for numerous sex workers (dominatrixes), and bought them elaborate gifts as tributes, but couldn't take his partners out for dates or spend anything above the absolute minimum on them.

eveninghope · 2020-10-26T12:32:44+00:00

[deleted]

sahu_ · 2020-10-26T05:58:57+00:00

Male feminist I dated, wanted an open relationship/marriage. Enough said.

idiosyncraticg1 · 2020-10-29T03:10:26+00:00

I had a friend who was a huge feminist, worked for the Democratic Party and was fairly left-leaning, but would regularly call women bitches. Awful.

ladylabrys · 2020-11-02T08:02:32+00:00

I know three (3) outspoken "male feminists" that ended up taking hormones, transitioning, buying kink gear and started posting their own nudes/porn on the internet.

Title	What's your mAlE FemInISt story?
Author	eveninghope
Upvotes	103
Comments	29
Date	October 25, 2020 3:25 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jhv593/whats_your_male_feminist_story/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/whats-your-male-feminist-story.322378 https://theredarchive.com/post/322378