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Why is this so accurate? Have men always been like this?

kittycakes22
January 5, 2021
1480 upvotes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

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Title Why is this so accurate? Have men always been like this?
Author kittycakes22
Upvotes 1480
Comments 64
Date January 5, 2021 8:14 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-is-this-so-accurate-have-men-always-been-like.359904
https://theredarchive.com/post/359904
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kr6og3/why_is_this_so_accurate_have_men_always_been_like/
Top posts by kittycakes22

Why do men “not want a relationship” because of a breakup ages ago, but women are still willing to seek real connections and love despite the amount of horror we’ve gone through?

1218 upvotes
November 27, 2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Make sure you are his first option. Men can fake and pretend you’re his #1 because they’re lonely, when in fact you aren’t the one they want.

1087 upvotes
October 21, 2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Why do men think we are in love with them after 1 date?

978 upvotes
August 3, 2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Her man of 6 years faked a proposal. I’d leave in a heartbeat.

930 upvotes
December 26, 2020
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

This is horrible. If dating is hard in my mid-20s what is it going to be like when I’m 30?

859 upvotes
February 13, 2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

This PostSecret shook me, I think most women can relate to this.

787 upvotes
December 8, 2020
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

It should be that simple. I’ve had a guy literally do all of these things, then proceed to say he doesn’t want us to be “official”.

729 upvotes
December 1, 2020
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Men won’t even put in the bare minimum these days and it’s because there are women who tolerate it.

677 upvotes
February 14, 2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Comments

[–][deleted] 446 points447 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

If you have to ask where it's going, it ain't going anywhere.

[–]PearlEarringGirlFDS Newbie125 points126 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

True. Should we just walk away? I wouldn’t like to ask only to have him ask me to be his gf just to string me along, cos you know, if you ask you give them the chance to do that

[–]honeybeerollFDS Disciple69 points70 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The handbook says to not divulge what you're looking for/never ask what you are, because well, if he really wanted to be your boyfriend you wouldn't have to ask. When you tell a guy what you're looking for (even something simple as "I'm looking for an LTR") you're just giving them the script to play you with. If you find yourself wondering what you are, if you really want to ask him, walk away because he's not serious.

[–]callofktululuFDS Apprentice28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly this! We're hiding what we actually want so we can vet harder. Never divulge these details, it just gives them a chance to string you along by weaponizing what you want and dangling that carrot in your face.

[–]maj0relleFDS Newbie15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What is he asks you directly ‘what are you looking for?’ Is there a way to answer that question without divulging but also not sounding like you want something casual? I’ve always struggled with that question

[–]honeybeerollFDS Disciple13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have heard some women here say they just respond that they'll know when they see it. I am not sure if the handbook offers tips on this directly but I would recommend you ask this like here or on askFDS so some ladies who have skillfully answered this can chime in!

[–][deleted] 127 points128 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

In all my long-term relationships, I've never had to ask. This has actually always been the norm in my country, so I'm sad to see this modern American trend of "seeing where things are going" while having sex or even dating become the norm (thanks to OLD). We never did dating in that sense here since you never knew you were dating until you were already together lol. You just met someone through friends or hobbies and you would do stuff together as friends. If the guy started asking you out for one on one activities and paying for you, you could guess he was probably courting you but as a woman the ball was always in your court to initiate a kiss (at which point it was understood that you are a couple, no talk needed). It was also a very normal thing to wait some time before having sex. Hell, I have friends that even established they were a couple a week before they kissed. When you know, you know 🤷

I just liked how the onus was on the party that didn't feel the spark to bring up that they didn't want a relationship (once physical contact has been made) as opposed to the person who wanted the relationship to ask for one. I guess this is why so many women nowadays are feeling confused and mistreated because everything is in reverse now!

[–]balanaiseFDS Newbie21 points22 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is so much better than what we have. I wish it worked that way here

[–]thowawaywookieFDS Newbie15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It used to work that way from what my grandmother said.

Abuse was hidden and many women just endured.

[–]nostradamusapologistFDS Newbie5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What country/region is this? You don't have to answer obviously, just curious

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Let's say I'm in western Europe ;)

[–]autumnxo92FDS Newbie36 points37 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Run, don't walk!

[–]iamwildflowersFDS Newbie28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

When in doubt "Run, don't walk" 😄. I'm adding this to my list of 2021 mottos.

[–]Revy_Ur_EnginesFDS Newbie19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Personally I just walk away because I lack patience. But you also can tell them what you want and if they want to come on board then let’s go. Anything other than an enthusiastic yes means you have to go.

[–]LevelupmamaFDS Newbie2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Treadmill lol

[–]souredskittlesFDS Disciple431 points432 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Basically they want you around without the responsibilities. Don’t do it ladies!

[–]2340000Ruthless Strategist114 points115 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Preach girl! And you shouldn't have to ask, "where is this going?"... Wtf.. Have you even asked yourself if you want it to go somewhere?🙄

It's not, "I accept the relationship because he's kind enough to consider me for a relationship". Or keep dating him because he gave the DTR talk🙅

The point isn't to get every man to commit. Or even want to. Put the focus back on the woman. Geesh...

[–]CanijustbekimFDS Newbie58 points59 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This! If a man wants you, you'll know. Unfortunately "He's Just Not That Into You" is still a very accurate book.

My boyfriend said he knew on the first night he met me that I was the one for him, so men know what they want, if they say they don't know, it ain't you, sorry.

[–]callofktululuFDS Apprentice40 points41 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My boyfriend was the one to initiate the relationship talk in just two weeks of dating. He was the one asking me where it's going by the fourth week, since I was still vetting by then and had a rotation going on. There was never any confusion, mixed signals or inconsistency. They ALL know.

[–]oceanstainsFDS Newbie151 points152 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

In 4th grade 😭😭😭😂😂😂

[–]HolyIsTheLordFDS Apprentice35 points36 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That was my favorite part.

I love this lady.

[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My NVM abusive ex was always accusing me of lying about the littlest things that no one would lie about. Straight projection. Like, if I said I went to X on vacation when I was a sophomore in high school, he said that it wasn’t true. 😳 If I said I had gotten a X on the SAT test, he said it wasn’t true. 😳 If I said I routinely ski down black diamond ski runs, he said it wasn’t true. 😳 He seemed to think he was omnipotent and knew facts about me from years before he even met me. I finally told him it was annoying and I really didn’t like having to defend every single thing I’d ever said and he said that it was because he has “trust issues.” A girl he had been on a date with once when he was in high school had told him a lie once. Once. In high school. 🤡🤡🤡 I still kick myself that i allowed him to waste my time and energy trying to prove myself to him when I should’ve just said, “bye, little man.”

[–]autumnxo92FDS Newbie126 points127 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Man fetus" 💀

[–]sunologieFDS Newbie114 points115 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is so accurate lmao! Men just want everything in the world with no effort and no responsibility

[–]eluriaeveFDS Newbie48 points49 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bahaha so accurate

[–]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple50 points51 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don’t even ask. He’s showing you. Run.

[–]KristeninmyskinFDS Apprentice46 points47 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

While this has been all of us at one time in our lives, I think we can all agree to not ask a man where something is going or what they want. We don’t have to ask, they will tell us with their actions!

[–]RedditRabbittFDS Newbie8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

SO TRUE! I asked my now husband bc he was foreign and I thought I needed to “make sure we were on the same page” since it was a long distance thing. As if... him talking to me every single night on the iPad he bought me so that he could see my face, and the trips he took from Australia to visit, and the gifts he bought me, and him waking up in the middle of the night to be on my time zone to talk bc I had to work, and flying in to meet my crazy religious family... didn’t solidify that we were together. I still cringe at the fact that I asked.. 😖

[–]Dontstopmenow2021FDS Newbie48 points49 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm 100% sure she's one of the us...the "I've been cheated on when I was in 4th grade" gave her away XD

[–]ChocolateBiscuit96FDS Newbie29 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

loooool. This dude was like “I told you my secrets and I said I loved you”. He never referred to me as his girlfriend of course. The games boys play 🤦🏾‍♀️

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

No sex weeds out the fakes.

[–]laylamillerFDS Newbie25 points26 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

This! This guy had the nerve to ask why after two weeks we weren't having sex. And I was like, "We're not in a relationship." And he then claimed that such terms were "archaic" and that we had a "connection" we needed to express physically. But he also claimed he wasn't just out get sex but to feel desired. Dumb shit but it was highly amusing reading the texts.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

“We HaVe A CoNneCtiOn wE nEeD tO eXprEsS pHySicAlLy.” But only through sex, not through the other plethora of ways to be physically affectionate.

Also, women are in a bit of a pickle now because guys can think because of most women “only having sex in a committed relationship” (not married) that they can slap on the “girlfriend” label and now we have to sexually service them because we are their GiRlFriEnD, which has no real tangible commitment and is totally arbitrary. But unless we want to date die-hard followers of Abrahamic religions, with all the drawbacks that entails, this is what we are dealing with.

This is why I advocate #DitchMen2021 lol. Don’t tell my man.

[–]laylamillerFDS Newbie8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. Long story but my first everything I was engaged to him. Turned out he was living a double life. He had a 2nd apartment for his side chick. I thought because I had a ring, we shared an apartment, he even called me his wife that meant we were serious. Chick in the other apartment that didn't know about me must've thought the same thing.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I cannot with these scrotes. Lol we have to extend past men paying for all dates to give less resources to date other women and make sure they also pay for all bills so they don’t have whole ass second families!😭😹Guys are out here trying to live like kings in 200 B.C. while making 60k a year and having their women subsidize their fantasies and it shows.

[–]laylamillerFDS Newbie2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He was a provider so that bullshit was all on his dime. I'm not gonna say that made me trust him but it made me feel like he loved me because he was so generous, why else would he invest so much of his resources in me/us?

Turns out he simply had a different scam going on because he was a narcissist.

[–]RedditRabbittFDS Newbie5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It really does and I tell my friends this. They don’t listen. Then complain the guy they fucked from the bar isn’t interested in a real relationship! Like, my friend genuinely can’t figure out why she can’t get a relationship and she sleeps with every guy the first night. She doesn’t even wait for a first date!

[–]SansaDeservedBetterFDS Disciple19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I keep thinking she’s using the music from Gone Girl in her tiktoks but I’m not so sure. Either way, I love her.

[–]BungalowBootieBitchFDS Newbie18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't use tik tok but I'm so tempted to make an account just to send this to my good friend. She's literally in this situation. Except she's also unsure of what she wants. It killed me that she was trying to figure out how to ask the man to not sleep with other women while gone for the holidays. Like that's probably why he hasn't made it clear to her what's going on.

[–]RedditRabbittFDS Newbie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just send it from reddit!

[–]Revy_Ur_EnginesFDS Newbie16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Textbook lvm. Boy bye 🏃‍♀️💨

[–]verhoodled_chicken14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

They want the perks of a relationship without having to put in the effort for one!

[–]laylamillerFDS Newbie7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Relationships only take effort if you're immature and selfish.

[–]ermadelsolFDS Newbie12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hahaha this is a work of art

[–]Ola_the_PolkaFDS Newbie12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Omfg I’m dealing with this exact situation right now. I’m heartbroken, but I walked away and blocked his number.

He’s a specialist doctor in his mid 30s like WOT?? I was banking on you having atleast SOME emotional intelligence and interpersonal communication skills 😭😭

[–]pascalinesFDS Newbie7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh no girl. I’ve dated a 35 year old emergency medicine attending, a machine learning engineer at Google, an M&A corporate lawyer, they were all dumb as fuck actually. Skilled in 1 career thing ONLY and idiot children in all other aspects, tragic.

[–]mysecretdiary2Throwaway Account12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can confirm if they want a relationship they’ll make it clear very soon.

[–]iamwildflowersFDS Newbie11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Omg this made my day 😂🥰

[–]leiimoo78FDS Newbie11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This reminds me of when a dude asked me what I thought about a half way open friends with benefits . Where only he could be interested and mingle with other people . I quickly said: “no not into that.”

[–]One_Olive_8933FDS Newbie11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My last relationship in a nutshell. Hilarious now... emotionally taxing and painful at the time -10/10 would not recommend.

[–]rth132FDS Newbie8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Recently talking to a guy like this he always deflects the question makes me feel like im in limbo 😧

[–]Squidwrd_TortelliniFDS Newbie16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

these scrotes really are 32 years old being sadistic and toxic to women cause they're still trying to get back at their 4th grade "girlfriend" for "cheating on them" AKA holding another boy's hand on the school bus

[–]lessadessaFDS Newbie8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Omg I busted out laughing...

[–]onceuponaseaFDS Newbie5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you have to ask and explain to him that he needs to move from the past, just go. It won’t worth it.

[–]livelyfire4FDS Newbie5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

😂😂😂 this was so creative

[–]spicyspaFDS Newbie6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hold your head still. I'm going to try that next time. If only for kicks.

[–]gummmybeanThrowaway Account7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

LMAO

[–]spicyspaFDS Newbie6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So true

[–]clairemaffeisFDS Newbie8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And they say women aren’t funny. This is comedy gold. 😭🤣🤣

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is priceless.

[–]throwawayproperty1271 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Also I don’t think men have always been like this...it’s a new thing stemming from sex positivity and hook up cultures. Back in the day the only time a man could wet his Willy was to get married! There was prostitution and cheating with mistresses still but it was way more ostracized and harder to back then than now...so if a man wanted consistent sex he had to be a provider and had to be committed to a marriage. Now men don’t need to have any redeemable qualities or any commitment to get pussy thrown at them.

[–]LevelupmamaFDS Newbie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The accuracy.

[–]andyyyrah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

They want all the benefits of a relationship without staying loyal

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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