Women are getting it now. Slowly but surely.

arnezuara · 2021-06-20T06:48:46+00:00

Looking at my HV mother, that was something she’s dealt with her whole life: a husband who, although provided for the whole family, did not see any value in her immense efforts. She deserves the best and I want to have her live a better life with me, now that I’m older.

hologothic · 2021-06-20T02:08:39+00:00

The saddest part of this is that it's clear she doesn't trust her partner to take care of the baby, otherwise she'd go to the store herself.

grandeoofs · 2021-06-20T02:34:56+00:00

It sounds weird but “learning” I could opt out of having kids breathed life in me. I looked towards my future with a grave disposition because I assumed I was born to bear and be anything but an individual because that is all I was taught and all that I saw from every woman in my life with kids. Thankless sacrifice after sacrifice made the misery so apparent.

Why the fuck would aspire to life like that? Why would anyone do that?

daenerysstormbornfan · 2021-06-20T02:41:32+00:00

Exactly, I’m 22 and I refuse motherhood until all of my conditions are met. Remember ladies we have all the reproductive power, in early human societies 17 women reproduced for every one male, which means that ancient women were far more selective than the modern women. The vast majority of males who ever existed died out and never passed on their genes, we have a lot more female ancestors than male ancestors. The males fought and competed with each other for the chance to be with us and women then proceeded to choose from the winners. That’s how it’s always been, that’s how it still is (but in a non-violent form), embrace your biology and know your true power. Women are the gatekeepers of sex, relationships, reproduction AND human evolution. I’m proud of my power. We get to choose which genes get passed on to the next generation, do NOT breed with LVM, next.

ChelseaG12 · 2021-06-20T01:26:30+00:00

As someone who chose not to have children, I hate this. I've never wanted kids. Some of my siblings have kids and I always get "why don't you have kids yet?" or "that's really sad, you're gonna have a lonely life". Even if I wanted to, there is no incentive. Awful work leave, terrible economy, environment worries, current wages and all that. Government is big mad that there won't be enough people to replace the current workforce when they "retire". They make no effort to help lift families from poverty, at least give these kids a fighting chance. They're all about how kids matter, babies matter. They only care about kids pre-birth. As soon as your kid is born the government could care less

I'll also add that I am one of ten kids. I figured I'd have enough nieces and nephews that I wouldn't need my own kids. I like having my freedom and money.

TrixieFriganza · 2021-06-20T08:40:41+00:00

So true, so many men can't even bother to get their ass from the he couch to get medicine for their sick hild, seen this too often. Even bad mothers would usually do this.

EurasianEmpress · 2021-06-20T11:06:28+00:00

Honestly, even if I were in perfect conditions to have a child-100% supportive husband who pulls his weight and then some, no health risks for me and my body snaps right back, the child is easy to raise, still have freedom and time and low-stress, financially stable with more than enough money to afford whatever a family wants or needs-I still wouldn’t want to have kids. And all of these huge risks just solidifies that choice for me. I guess I really am child free and would be no matter what.

roxemmy · 2021-06-20T05:37:30+00:00

I figured this shit out when I was like 4 years old when my parents divorced & my dad just dipped out. Didn't pay child support most of my childhood, wouldn't know where he was living or working, wouldn't hear from him for a few years at a time.

This helped me make the decision at 10 years old that I was never going to have kids. I never wanted to be stuck taking care of kids by myself because so many fathers bail.

NoodleEmpress · 2021-06-20T10:19:16+00:00

Personally I had a great experience growing up as my father was very hands on, and took care of my siblings and I giving my mom ample breaks to do her own thing.

That being said, I always flip flop on whether I want to have kids or not because I'm not sure if I'll be able to recreate what my parents had. And I definitely don't want kids if I don't even have the money to buy a house yet (which is another thing the government should be looking at. People aren't going to want children if the only place they can truly afford is their parents' place)

So many men seemingly have that "Fuck you, got mine" mentality, and they know most of us want so they hide their mentality to get what they want. They want to be able to slang their dick around, with no repercussions. Having kids just doesn't seem worth it anymore, and many men and governments don't MAKE it worth it.

Anyway, I have a question/suggestion about the vetting process/ "dating" strategy part of the sub.

Bear with me here in case I sound insensitive or I'm generalizing... So I acknowledge that many men can hide their true intentions/bad traits very well before getting married, especially if you haven't "vet" them properly yet. But I find that many women end up settling (and when I say settling, I mean having babies and/or getting married within the first few months or only after a year or two of dating)very young for men that they hardly know.

And I know there's like a "checklist" of stuff you should experience together before getting married like living together for about a year, have a big fight to see what their conflict resolution is like, Would, "Seeing how well they take care of me/my family when sick" be good for the checklist? Or would it not make a difference? Was it already a given, or am I just oblivious?

Also, are men just that good at hiding their callousness? Or do some women ignore the "red flags" needed to see whether if thse men are good, viable partners or not?

I never thought about it before, but I have been reading soooooooo many complaints from women stating that they have to do everything in household from cooking, to cleaning, to taking care of everyone else when they're sick or busy, but no one is there for them?l.

modernmedusaa · 2021-06-20T07:24:35+00:00

Yup a lot of us observed the bullshit our mothers went through & said to ourselves nooooo thanks not unless a supportive mature & faithful man comes along or we get struck by a lightening bolt & lose our common sense. Most of us do not envy our mothers lives.

Women are waking up to the ‘do it all’ Pickmeisha scam. Realistically something’s gotta give if you’re working a demanding full time job whilst juggling 3 kids and wiping the ass of your manchild LVM cooking & cleaning for him. Oh & you gotta look like a model & never age whilst juggling this. It’s just unrealistic. And as we are seeing- an increasing number of lazy LVM are taking their foot off the wheel & taking advantage of this. Still living with mommy at 28 or scrounging off higher earning women. When my mom was short of cash she picked up a 2nd job & earned a 2nd degree but it seems too many men are complacent and have no drive to get more hours/qualifications. They just stay flatline. Or use untreated depression as an excuse to be fat lazy porn fried gamers. Funnily enough same men mock women on meds /in therapy making an effort.

Why would you knowingly sign yourself up to a broken home and too much bullshit for you to handle?

Either make the conditions better for mothers or STFU. Also I notice when the manosphere is whinging about falling birth rates they never want to address the big elephant in the room: how big porn and red pill etc has gifted us a generation of objectifying degrading manchildren who aren’t suitable for relationships or starting families. They don’t even want to settle down, just control women (hello red pillers). Why would I raise kids with a man who has incest and barely legal violent porn in his google history? Or with a pick up artist who spreads STIs on tinder? Do pedophiles with a lust for seeing women degraded make good longterm investments? No? So don’t ask why we aren’t popping out kids for these degenerate scrotes then.

I hope young women really do internalise FDS & realise having kids is no walk in the park & choosing a man as a father is one of the most life altering decisions you can make. So you shouldn’t do it in haste or lower your standards hoping on a mans ‘potential’ (to get worse).

Connect_Chipmunk_691 · 2021-06-20T08:28:17+00:00

This stuff breaks the crap out of my heart. Our bodies are amazing and beautiful and sacred and grow life and birth human life onto this Earth which is such an amazing miraculous thing.....I feel like men in so many ways have made us hate our own bodies and what we're capable of doing and the journeys were on because everything becomes a stressor instead of being a joy when men are like that.

Them constantly accusing us as baby trapping them is completely insane! My abusive ex got me pregnant on purpose to force me to marry him. I was livid with him because I did not want to get pregnant at that time and that was not the way I wanted to get pregnant. I wanted it to be with the man that I was supposed to marry and spend the rest of my life with but I will say that my son was and is most definitely an unexpected blessing. And just speaking as a person of faith God gave me Grace to separate my child out from his asshole sperm donor. My health has not been the same since the emergency C-section I had to have. That being said I still wouldn't trade my son for anything. I can't imagine my life without him and he is such an amazing kid! And by amazing, he has such an incredible heart! He's on the higher functioning end of the autism spectrum but he is really social, he's very articulate about his thoughts and feelings and he has a great deal of empathy and compassion for people in general, including for me. It took me awhile to feel proud of myself for that because the typical outward trappings and achievements parents rely on to show themselves as awesome parents--the grades, sports achievements, etc.--aren't currently present due to the challenges he deals with but I would take my son and his character and heart any day of the week if I had to make a choice.

For the lurkers, start stepping up and being the fathers your kids need and the husbands and partners your wives and girlfriends need! Nobody should have to live their life being miserable to walk through this life with you and carry these burdens, especially if they've born your child. Your significant other is a mirror of you so however she's being, you need to take a look at how you're treating her, and grow up.

tidalgrief · 2021-06-20T09:49:05+00:00

his behaviour is completely unacceptable. it's his responsibility to take care of his own child?? like wtf. anyway, I'm so happy to be childfree forever (and I'm glad that I don't date men in general lmao)

ThrowawayCompassion · 2021-06-20T12:30:03+00:00

It’s really sad but NOT having kids with the LVM I’ve been with has been the biggest blessing in my life. It makes it so much harder to leave and kids deserve a good stable situation to grow up in. No kids, I’ve been able to just up and leave and that has saved my life on a few occasions.

4BigData · 2021-06-20T08:10:51+00:00

We are WAY TOO MANY humans anyway. Lower fertility rates is a Godsend.

The US doesn't even have enough housing for it's current population.

greatmoonlight21 · 2021-06-20T12:03:23+00:00

I genuinely love kids. They make me happier with their sweet innocence and I feel like I have a connection with them. But being realistic, it just doesn’t help me to have kids. I get no large benefit out of it, and it’ll just cost me time, energy, and money that I don’t have. At this rate, not having kids isn’t even a choice anymore but a necessity for us to survive. The economy is collapsing, climate change is getting worse, women’s rights aren’t getting anywhere, etc. so I think it would be selfish to bring a child into this world

Davina33 · 2021-06-20T09:21:49+00:00

I would consider myself a single mother no matter what man I had. This and many other reasons was why I decided to be childfree. Will it ever change? Will most men ever become competent fathers?

TERFSareawesome · 2021-06-20T09:41:28+00:00

Also, friendly reminder to women that we can have kids on our own if that's something you want! If you don't find a HVM man, hit up a sperm bank! Sperm is cheap and plentiful and very easy to access. Or have a short term relationship with a young, hot dude, and block him once you get pregnant. Whatever strategy you choose works. But please dont make the mistake of thinking you need a man to start a family

Title	Women are getting it now. Slowly but surely.
Author	CrazyPaine
Upvotes	2391
Comments	81
Date	June 20, 2021 1:04 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/o3u7m3/women_are_getting_it_now_slowly_but_surely/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/women-are-getting-it-now-slowly-but-surely.785347 https://theredarchive.com/post/785347