Words of advice to the Poly-debate. You aren't "radical" or "non-conformative" you are literally enforcing stereotypes as old as time. You are a HUGE part of the patriarchy. Charles Manson, other cult leaders and sultans etc all had harems of women, you are no different. We aren't buying your lies.

So one time many moons ago my friend and I were bar hopping when this giant bouncer dude jumped out of the darkness to invite us up for an “open bar event”.

Being broke af and not knowing any better I ran up those stairs as fast as my inconvenient heels would allow and ordered three drinks (2 for me, 1 for my friend to guzzle while he went to the bathroom). I was enthusiastically chatting with the bartender when I felt a man take my hand (I thought it was my friend trying to get my attention) and, like, 2 seconds later I felt a large boob.

I slowly turned around and saw a man who resembled the dried out zombie version of Charlton Heston and an older equally zombified woman with coarse yellow blonde hair and a fantastic pair of brand new boobs (like extremely brand new, they were basically on her collar bone).

She looked so incredibly awkward and just, not into it. I felt so much empathy for this poor woman that her significant other had grabbed the hand of a younger woman (who could have been their niece’s age) and just shoved it unceremoniously in her blazer. No introduction, no foreplay, nothing, just my hand on her very hard breast.

I started looking around and realized there were awkward couples everywhere (my hand was still on this woman’s boob - I was shocked and frozen in place). All the men were grinning and smiling, a few pickmes were either trying to get into it by dancing awkwardly or just occupying space and trying to hide their misery/insecurity.

My friend came back, asked what I was doing, and I slowly extracted my hand from the inside of her blazer while maintaining eye contact with Mr and Ms Crypt Keeper.

Sadly he was apparently just completely unaware of Ms Zombie’s body language - it was not of a fully secure, confidant woman - and my own. I was not excited or flattered or interested - I was shocked, afraid, and disgusted and yet Zombie Heston just stood there, silent, grinning at me with his oversized veneers.

Long story short, I was in a swinger’s/poly bar - everyone (regardless of age) was so unattractive and it was overwhelmingly male dominated. Think: bad hair, bad style, bad body odor, bad dance moves, bad bad bad.

Disregarding surface-level attraction for a minute - I don’t know how anyone can defend an entire community full of insecure, immature men who force their partners and unwitting victims into awkward situations just because they want to fuck young women.

Like no one can convince me that a woman in her mid-60’s, potentially retired, looking forward to chilling for the rest of her life was soooooo willing to get a new pair of boobs just so her partner could get his dick wet. Like that woman got sliced open and stuffed while he got veneers thinking his friggin teeth were going to land the ladies. UGH 🙄

In the two seconds I had been forced to grope that poor woman I had an insight into their relationship and was so turned off and sad that I promptly left the bar. The only wet part of my body was the front of my dress because I had sloppily downed the rest of my drink before reaching the exit.

Apologies for the long ass story but there are so many “communities” (hard eyeball @ you, poly, swingers, & BDSM) where women will never be able to gain the upper hand & they’re all gaslit and manipulated into believing otherwise by men who don’t have the balls to get a divorce.

Just go live your best life. If a man even tries, dump him.