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Yes, FDS ladies preserve warm and positive vibes for those who deserve them and say no to the rest

January 6, 2021
2042 upvotes
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Post Information
Title Yes, FDS ladies preserve warm and positive vibes for those who deserve them and say no to the rest
Author MysteriousLife7
Upvotes 2042
Comments 35
Date January 6, 2021 6:29 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/yes-fds-ladies-preserve-warm-and-positive-vibes.729805
https://theredarchive.com/post/729805
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kri6xv/yes_fds_ladies_preserve_warm_and_positive_vibes/
Comments

[–]_xyoungbellax_FDS Apprentice205 points206 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

I used to people please a lot by being polite and always smiling. As a result, men thought I was weak and vulnerable and took advantage of it.

But after doing some spiritual cleansing, I improved my personality. I have become intimidating to many men to the point where they try to downplay my intelligence, worth and then try to tear down my self-esteem but they fail. I've become quite bold and angry with my opinions and I express it openly but then they hit me with the "you don't need to be rude". I am done preserving men's fragile egos. I'll smash them like anything.

[–]evil_mom79FDS Newbie68 points69 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I like saying "I don't need to, but I enjoy it", then I smile really wide and slightly crazy.

[–]Revy_Ur_EnginesFDS Newbie20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Username checks out 😂

[–]evil_mom79FDS Newbie20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's a silly nickname my college friends gave me twenty-(mumble) years ago. I have since worked hard to earn it ;)

[–]poloniusTheElephant13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Can I ask how you did this? Unfortunately I still have the people-pleasing problem of being overly polite and smiling and it drives me crazy — would LOVE to improve my personality

[–]_xyoungbellax_FDS Apprentice7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well, I did do some therapy sessions during which my therapist said "Stop being an empath, start being a little narcissistic" and that stuck with me. I have practised saying NO. Whenever, I think a man is being rude to me or making me feel like I'm not good enough, I immediately block him. He does find other ways to apologize but I don't pay heed. That sort of makes him think "This girl has started taking no shit." About the smiling, I've realized most often, they say stuffs that aren't even worth to be smiled at so why give them validation? Reading FDS posts religiously every single day helped me reach this stage too. Also, listening to music that have a strong independent woman vibe, helps as well.

[–]IgetUsernameScrapsFDS Newbie4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have this problem. I just had an idea. Keep a “no” in my mind. When someone asks me, “Could you...” I’m going to say no. I don’t care what it is. I have a bad habit of saying “yes” before I’ve even processed the information cause I’m such a damn people pleaser. 🙃

[–]captainosaur8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I would love to know more about the internal process you went through for that change to happen.

[–]light_workerx3FDS Newbie8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Same here . Omg I could have written this !! You go girl !

[–]ItsFreezenFDS Newbie178 points179 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

When a woman reject's a man what does he say "she's a bitch".

[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple132 points133 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

“You’re fat and ugly anyways.” Lmao! Then why were you trying to get with me? Scrote Logic 🤡

[–]Revy_Ur_EnginesFDS Newbie27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sour grapes

[–]light_workerx3FDS Newbie34 points35 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

" you're probably a cheating slut anyways " ... Says the dude messaging me while his girlfriend is in the bathroom getting ready for their " date night" 😂😆 yeah okay buddy 🖕🏼

[–]ragingchumpFDS Newbie84 points85 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

A couple years ago i got into a rather heated confrontation bc i was sitting at a brewery drinking a beer and not responding to attempts to get me to talk to a group of guys.

Finally they said something inappropriate enough that i responded...and the whole brewery came to a stop while i lit into them and told them to fuck off. And this is exactly what i said.

They tried to call me a bitch and i slapped that down as well.

Did i cause a scene? No! They did.

[–]Reporter_ComplexFDS Newbie110 points111 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Seriously, I was at a licensed Cafe having a work meeting. I was at a table with around 15 people in high up government jobs. (I'm talking paid over 300k a year - extremely high up) and some fucking man came over and asked me for my number.

I was mortified to say the least. He kept pushing after I said, "sorry no, im busy".

So after his 4th attempt, and all of my efforts to shrink myself out of the room from the stares I was getting I turned to him and let rip.

"Who the fuck do you think you are? Pestering me when you can clearly see that im in a meeting, with people who probably pay your fucking wage in tax each month. Get the fuck out and stop being a parasite." - I didnt even raise my voice. After I said it, I turned away, and looked at the boss and said "im sorry, please continue".

That day I learned - men can be fucking horrible. And also, doesnt matter how much a person gets paid, no one ever questions confidence. "Please continue" got me a recommendation from their leads :) apparently im a "powerful young woman, with radiating energy"

Its still embarrassing as hell thinking about it though

[–]lilac2481FDS Newbie47 points48 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He's the one who should be embarrassed. I've never been in a relationship or dated, but if this is what's out there, I would rather remain single.

[–]evil_mom79FDS Newbie29 points30 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I would love to know if anyone in that meeting said anything, to you or him.

[–]Reporter_ComplexFDS Newbie37 points38 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My boss told him to go away after I told him to get fucked. But boss knows that I can handle myself, and that if he was to say anything before I said something, he would have been snapped at as well lol

One of the other lady's as the table told me I handled it brilliantly. There were a couple who just couldn't get their jaw off the floor to say anything.

To be honest, im glad everyone treated it like I was shooing a bug lol

[–]evil_mom79FDS Newbie10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like you work with great people! Good for you (:

[–]Ana_jpFDS Newbie81 points82 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The number of times I have been called rude by the actual rude party is truly astounding.

Hell, even a prof in university tried to say I was distracting the class because I was sitting quietly doodling after I’d finished the reading and assignment. I was like “no, sir, your yelling at me is what’s currently disrupting the class. Perhaps you should apologize to me and the rest of the people here who are paying for this...”

He tried to kick me out. But I kept coming back out of spite lol

[–]quarterlyavocadoFDS Newbie25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I had a prof who would stop in the middle of a lecture to scold students on their phones. I purposefully sat in the front row so I wouldn't be distracted by other people on their laptops/phones, but the prof created an entirely new distraction with his "excuse me, you in row 104 on the left, blue t-shirt, please put away your electronics!"

[–][deleted] 85 points86 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

If they just expected civility (could you, would you, please, thank you, excuse me), it would be fine. But noooo they want you to be warm and act like BFFs and be super kind to them when they don’t do that for us.

[–]CarpedictumFDS Newbie25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If they come at me with “Please, ma’am.” (at an appropriate time and place) then it’s reasonable to expect a “No thank you, sir.”

If they aren’t being civil, “Fuck outta here” is a perfectly appropriate response.

[–]thehappiestelephantFDS Newbie28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

When "no thanks" is considered bitchy, you realize the only PoLiTe response doesn't include a "no" at all.

[–]ughthanksbutnoFDS Apprentice26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I get so many negative responses from men at work for sounding dry. It’s just how I speak - flat and nonchalant. men think that once we see them and they bless us with their words we should automatically turn giddy, welcoming, and grateful. my office manager once, after i bid him a good morning as i came in, remarked “always such a ray of sunshine” sarcastically. i am not changing the inflection in my tone to make a man happy.

[–]AnneRB13FDS Newbie19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

In one of my works they had 2 guys who had lasted years on the store. They always did their best to made life difficult for the women on the store because they believed it was more easy to women to sell (half the pay was commission based). And it was always a thing of trying to made you to fight them in their own terms. It was too tiresome for me to pull the chain that opened the store "doors" so of course it was always a issue. They always nagged me because I was the last to enter the shift (not late, just after them) but I stayed late many times hours after them and that was never relevant for them. At the end I left the store. They can continue there the rest of their lives and probably will, I learned another language and got a job that pays me the double I earned there and enter college, and then I got another job that let's me work remotely always and pays even more. Sometimes I pass for the mall and they are still there, 30-40 years men working in a job for high-schoolers and their mediocrity still reminds what I can do better.

[–]Suspicious-Leg-1407FDS Apprentice19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Omg, yes.

Headphones on, sound off.

[–]imarriedmybookshelfFDS Newbie14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was always known as "the bitch" at work because I was super selective when it came to choosing friends and everyone shamed me because I wasn't warm and friendly. I felt so bad for myself because of it for a long time but I knew that I shouldn't waste any attention on people who aren't close to me.

[–]Confection_EfficientFDS Newbie6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think it's wonderful that Aaron is also involved in Next Gen Men. It looks like he's part of a new movement invested in developing HVM. I'm excited to see this. I hope this catches on. We need this at scale.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow, a male with a functioning brain. That's refreshing. He's not like other boys :)

[–]GoldandGlowingFDS Newbie3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, Aaron, speak on it 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 I’m frigid and proud dammit; I’m not on this earth to be every scrotes female friend that teaches them emotional intelligence and shit

[–]o-no9FDS Newbie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is fantastic. I have two male coworkers whom I adore, and according to them, I’m the most bubbly, helpful, cheery coworker they have. To my boss, however, I’m cold and strictly professional. When he tries making small talk, I ignore him completely. I don’t have time or energy for him, because he’s selfish, sexist, homophobic, racist, and flat out rude. I don’t care what he thinks of me because my work speaks for itself. Why WOULD I care what he thinks when all women, according to him, fall all into one of two categories: 1) ditzy, happy, helpful, slightly dumb women, and 2) bitchy, rude lesbians.

I don’t modify my natural behaviors for any man. When I’m around pathetic men, my natural disinterest or disgust shows. When I’m around men who are actually positive and caring people, my natural, happy personality shows.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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