As Gavin De Becker writes in The Gift of Fear, pushiness is a universal red flag of LVM.

On OLD, I'm sure you all have come across low-value men who have tried to push you into meeting them quickly, meeting them tonight, meeting right this very second. They create a false sense of urgency to alarm you and distress you, and to trigger a scarcity-mindset reaction. You're supposed to think, "oh no, I have to comply to his demands immediately or else I lose this man forever!" When you're caught up in the moment, or a recovering pickmeisha, it's hard to see these tricks for what they really are- manipulation tactics.

You, at no point, should ever feel rushed into anything. Not first dates. Not phone calls. Not sex. Not marriage. Not moving in together. You are the one who gets to decide when things happen in your life, and no one else. The LVM will try to dictate the pace, and it's up to you to ignore the fuck out of those feeble attempts. There is no rush to do anything at all, especially things you never wanted to do or set out to do.

Do you want to talk to him more him more before meeting? Totally a-ok. Do you want to date longer before feeling comfortable enough to have sex with a new bf? Totally fine. Do you want to chill at home instead of go out, but a LVM keeps trying to force you to go out? Literally, just block his ass. Not only is dick abundant and low in value, but if the man cares about you, he is not going to have an issue with your boundaries or with waiting (for anything).

A few years ago, Real Housewife, Bethenny Frankel, promoted a philosophy of saying "yes" to everything. Her idea was, that some people are too closed off to new experiences and play it too safe. She advised women to start saying yes to everything.

In reality, we should be saying no a lot more. We, as women, should be honoring our own boundaries, a hell of a lot more. You are not a supporting actress in your life, waiting for things to happen to her. No, you are a queen, and a boss ass bitch. You are the one who sets the tone, the pace, and the precedent for all your relationships. You are not someone who is about to get pressured and cajoled into doing ANYTHING you didn't set out to do.

If your boundaries are weak or permeable, I encourage you to get to the core of that issue before dealing with men. LVM are opportunists, and they are thrilled at the chance to take advantage of someone naive, trusting, and gullible. Don't fall for it.

YOU are the one who sets the pace.

YOU are the one deciding when you're having sex for the first time with a HVM.

YOU are the one deciding when a date is convenient for you. You don't need to compromise if he won't compromise. Your time is not less valuable than his. Yes, even if he is a doctor, FDSers. His "crazy hours" amazingly don't seem to interfere in his 7-9pm Tinder swiping session that he is never late for. Stop bending over backwards for "workaholics".

YOU are the one who sets the pace.

Remain unbothered & unpressured, ladies. Ignore a LVM's desperate attempts to get you to accommodate him and do what's convenient for HIM. Take a step back from the situation and rationally think about what's going on. Your boundaries and preferences are being stamped on, by a person who gives 0 shit about your comfort and your boundaries.

There is only one reasonable response to you expressing a boundary- and that is a man respecting it. Not pushing it, not sulking over it, not crying over it, not throwing a temper tantrum, not launching into a lecture as to why you should change your mind, and definitely not trying to convince you otherwise.

Y'all are queens and should be treated as such. Your opinions and boundaries are worthy of respect. Don't let a LVM trample on them. LVM have an easy time thinking of their wants, needs, and boundaries, and disregarding all of yours.

You must take a proactive approach and tell yourself, before every situation, how you want the exchange to go. Remind yourself what your boundaries are and what pace you're comfortable with. Start getting offended when your boundaries are ignored. Do not give the benefit of the doubt, they know you're uncomfortable when they boundary-cross, they just don't give a shit.

Stay woke.