So this friend group is extremely left leaning, very progressive. All very much committed to a lot of woke causes. A close friend of mine and I spoke on a walk about feminism and I can confess to becoming angry. The conversation went pretty much like this:
I expressed some pro women stance on an issue.
He said "guess what! You're a feminist!"
"Of course not. Feminists don't have some sort of monopoly on equality"
"Well if you agree with them on this thing why do you take issue with being called a feminist? The word doesn't mean you're less manly or anything. Feminism is just the name."
I mention the extremists
Queue the "those aren't real feminists"
I rattle off the Duluth Model, Mary Koss, Erin Pizzey, Emmeline Parkhurst, Sally Gearhart, Earl Silverman, yadda yadda yadda.
Basically I laid out why I think Feminism is, at the very least, influenced by people who sought the conclusion of the patriarchy, as opposed to legitimately finding it through research. I also brought up that feminism has a history of intentionally impeding equality, and I couldn't call myself one just because I agree on some ways we should treat women better.
He, of course, didn't really buy this.
Months later I begin dating a close mutual friend. Things are going well. I was wondering when the broach the subject. To my surprise, she brought it up. Our mutual friend had asked her in private if I was "... better about feminism."
She explained to me that "feminism is fine, it just has some crazies." I, having learned more about discourse in the interim, started asking her if she knew about certain figures and events.
She didn't buy into everything I said, which I respect. We basically agreed that I still respect women, even if I fundamentally disagree with feminism.
I sent her one interview with Erin Pizzey. I don't want to send her a whole Google doc of anti feminist material. Just one interview where Erin Pizzey tells her personal story. We're still seeing each other and I'm glad she respects me enough to hear me out and I'm happy to respect her enough to make up her own mind on things.
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