"Boys will be boys" has always meant rambunctious behavior like playing in the mud, climbing trees, etc, how were feminists able to instead change this meaning to the utterly false, "we shouldn't hold rapists accountable because, you know, boys will be boys" straw man?

Better_Repeat · 2021-06-08T13:23:25+00:00

I think you're right, I had only heard it in a benign context until recent campaigns decided to co-opt it as being an excuse for sexual assault.

azazelcrowley · 2021-06-08T15:39:27+00:00

Bad faith and gaslighting.

Same as if we just took the term girl power and started pretending it was about celebrating women being abusive.

DanteLivra · 2021-06-08T14:33:17+00:00

You are so right, it was meant to say that boys like to play outside, get dirty without thinking of the consequences. It was never a way to say "little Timmy showed his pee pee in class today, but you know, boys will be boys."

matrixislife · 2021-06-08T17:34:52+00:00

They weren't, just a few crazies and some paid-for media support this. Don't accept it anywhere, make this point every time you see it, it'll end up out of use soon enough.

ElbowStrike · 2021-06-08T15:05:27+00:00

I’ve always thought the “boys will be boys = rape” thing was some kind of bizarre southern USA cultural thing.

TheTurquoiseTortilla · 2021-06-09T00:13:23+00:00

I have heard some people use “boys will be boys” to justify some pretty atrocious stuff, it’s not how the term is usually used but it does happen.

Broken_Castle · 2021-06-08T13:23:51+00:00

It's not quite black and white like that. I have seen that phrase used both ways (as in to describe boys taking rambunctious behavior, or to refer that boys may sexually harass others and you should just ignore it.)

The issue is that you might end up with two camps: people who use that phrase innocently (or have it used on them innocently) who cannot figure out why feminists are accusing them of misogyny when 'clearly' no such thing exists.

Then on the other side you could end up with women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted and had their attack excused by that phrase... and they are wondering how anyone could defend a phrase that was literally used to invalidate the assault against them.

Both sides need to realize that humanity and language itself is not perfectly uniform, and the meaning of phrases can change especially with different cultures,, and that yes sometimes that phrase was used to ignore sexual assault, but in other communities it was used often purely innocently.

Where we go from there is a much more complicated question.

execdysfunction · 2021-06-08T18:00:25+00:00

People are actually sometimes told that "boys will be boys" in response to sexual abuse. I was told that in response to mine, as if it justified it. Most people do mean it in a more "kids will be kids" way but sometimes it's used to imply and justify disgusting things. I have no problem with the saying itself, but too many people say "boys will be boys" when especially a younger boy sexually assaults or abuses someone else.

Carkudo · 2021-06-08T14:15:32+00:00

"Boys will be boys" has always meant rambunctious behavior

Was it really? In my country the equivalent does absolutely get used to excuse the sexual and other violence of high status and/or handsome 'alpha' men.

mcmur · 2021-06-08T19:36:57+00:00

Hyperbole is one of feminists' favorite things to do.

Don't get me started on the whole calling things "violence" that literally are not violence trend.

funkynotorious · 2021-06-08T18:25:44+00:00

When I was new to the reddit. I made this same argument in a feminism sub . Got downvoted to oblivion with 0 comments.

Cookiedoughjunkie · 2021-06-08T14:55:53+00:00

Because they've always been lying shrews

DIES-_-IRAE · 2021-06-08T17:38:59+00:00

That was understood until feminism made everything having to do with men and boys evil.

Zoiddburger · 2021-06-08T18:45:47+00:00

What do you think of the phrase, "Lie in the bed you've made?"

That was a common legal response to martial rape and domestic violence for battered women until the first state to make marital rape illegal, Nebraska, in 1975. The first person brought to court on charges was in 1978.

There are more sinister stories behind common day phrases than we may personally remember.

"Boys will be boys" was absolutely used to excuse sexual perversions and inappropriate violence in boys for years. It is documented in several court cases of murders and assaults that the parents saw early signs of antisocial behavior but always excused it as "boys will be boys."

That is also another reason why rapists, to this day, get less time in prison than some people with minor drug offenses.

Times change. At least try to understand them. Also, to others in post... Why would you keep doing something that you know now, because language and symbols transform meaning with time, means something disrespectful and hurts others? No one sees your Indian swastika of peace anymore. It's taken on new meaning and life, now it is a symbol for white supremacy. Everything isn't about how you interpret it, try to at least have an iota of awareness of the world you live in.

P.S. it's not a "straw man" either. It's Brett Kavanaugh. That was his response to binge drinking as a teen and having relations with women with one, that we know of, allegedly being raped. That's why you've heard it talked about far more in the years after his hearing.

a-man-from-earth · 2021-06-08T13:27:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SpookyDoomCrab42 · 2021-06-08T13:45:36+00:00

I believe every parent should read these books: (including if you only have daughters) https://www.amazon.com/Defending-Boyhood-audiobook/dp/B07QFFYBPS/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=defending+boyhood&qid=1623159696&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.com/Dangerous-Book-Boys-Conn-Iggulden/dp/0062208977