Do you feel "privileged" because of your sex? why or why not?

LettuceBeGrateful · 2022-01-17T22:15:47+00:00

Depends heavily on the situation. Generally, no, but then again, I think everyone is much more likely to feel their own struggles than fortunes, and likewise most able to notice the privileges of others that they themselves don't have.

I'm tired of privilege being used as a blanket term. If someone wants to mention "male privileges," plural, and then list the ones they want to discuss, we can totally have that conversation. But that isn't how the conversation usually goes. Usually, it's just "you're a man and you have some nebulous, overarching privilege, which means male advocacy is a bigoted waste of time, and don't you know you objectively have it better than women."

It's just invalidation and marginalization with a few extra steps.

bottleblank · 2022-01-17T22:30:34+00:00

Nope. The fact that I am male and therefore held to some specific standard of masculinity by society (men and women) that I have never and will never achieve makes me consider it a detriment, not a privilege.

I'm not a muscleman, I'm not a fighter, I'm not a heart-throb, I'm not a CEO. I'm not rich, I'm not charismatic, I'm not confident, I'm not tall, I'm not especially attractive or interesting.

So what, then, am I?

A pretty unsuccessful "man", it would seem. So no, I don't feel privileged, because it involves being told how wonderful I must have it compared to women based on other mens' behaviour.

lastfreethinker · 2022-01-17T22:13:57+00:00

I literally had fine touch nerves and half of the skin of my penis removed after birth. It has been a slog to get people who claim to be human rights activists to barely even acknowledge. The idea that cutting off part of a child's genitals is wrong. If they're male. They will easily agree with you if it's female.

I'm sick and tired of having to point out that basic things in which only the sex is changed is wrong. If you were to claim a number of the things that are done to men in this country were done to women, how quickly would it be stopped and how many would actively fight with you. But to claim that you should not cut off part of a kid's penis suddenly. You're the crazy person.

a-man-from-earth · 2022-01-17T22:13:12+00:00

I came across a discussion on menslib talking about privilege [...] I don't feel like they'll allow such a post there.

That really says it all about that sub. And for your information, it appears you are already on their filter+discard list, as your latest comment there did not get through.

lightning_palm · 2022-01-17T23:53:55+00:00

I'll assume you're referring to social privileges.

After studying the biases against men, I don't see any privilege in being male in countries with weak support of traditional gender roles. Entirely the opposite. While it is true that being a man can be advantageous in narrow contexts, on the whole, it is significantly more advantageous to be female. This can be summarized by the term "gender empathy gap," whose consequences are far-reaching and affect our judgment and treatment of individuals profoundly.

As Rick Bradford (William Collins) states in his book:

Moral authority is the true hegemony, and it belongs to women. It always did.

See my list that contains a lot of studies that provide evidence for our psychological inclination to favor women (which I update from time to time): https://www.dropbox.com/s/ftlv2zxxv4bjnkc

a-man-from-earth · 2022-01-17T22:01:04+00:00

Sometimes, sure. But both sexes have their privileges and challenges. It definitely is a mixed bag.

gabrielcoronel_ · 2022-01-17T22:01:23+00:00

I sometimes feel privileged.

I sometimes feel unprivileged.

I usually feel neutral.

Vandechoz · 2022-01-17T22:49:39+00:00

No; Every time I feel like I'm experiencing privilege, it's because of my dead grandparents' money; My sex is less than an afterthought in comparison, the only thing I can think of that's a noticeable benefit is the lack of needing to deal with a period

(edit to remove periods to flex my privilege)

Forgetaboutthelonely · 2022-01-18T01:42:07+00:00

No.

I've been stuck tapdancing on the poverty line for the last ten years of my life.

I have little to no access to therapy or other mental health support because of it. and there's no way I can find that would allow me to move up in the world that doesn't involve education. Something I have zero access to.

Radiance969 · 2022-01-17T22:17:27+00:00

No. Especially since I'm a ethnic male (African).

Cfox006 · 2022-01-18T01:33:59+00:00

As a guy who feels more “feminine” I.e caring about fashion and the way I look, wanting to feel safe and protected, not wanting my self worth to come from my job/money, I’d prefer rather have the privileges of a girl than the ones men have

Don’t even get me started on balding lmao

webernicke · 2022-01-18T02:49:33+00:00

Literally never. I can intellectually accept that I must be privileged in some way as a male, but I don't think there's ever been any time in my life that I've genuinely thought, "I'm glad I'm not a woman." Not once.

Plenty of times I've hated the fact that I'm a man, though.

Lianza · 2022-01-18T21:01:36+00:00

Hi, a woman here! First off, I apologize for having messed your vote account. I know that this survey is addressed towards men in its overwhelming majority, but I thought that I could give my two cents.

Now - onto the issue:

I do feel privileged in my gender because I see that people are not so ready to get offended with what I say nor I have to worry too much about whether I look intimidating or whatever. In fact, I do feel really protected. Those who read my original big post in this reddit know that I am a roleplayer, that I was roleplaying a guy for a dating story for a while, and those were things that really messed his mind.

On the contrary - when I talk about my problems, as long as I do it in a respecting manner, I feel that people are way more eager to listen without being judged. They may not always understand my point, but it is still nice to see people try without the much harsher judgements my boy received from strangers of the opposite gender. It is such a wonderful feeling! I never thought that writing a needy vampire could get me to appreciate it this much!

So, to all the decent men here and there, thanks for making me feel safe when I voice out my concerns :) You keep doing you and I'll do what people should have done to you to a long time. Cya!

thereslcjg2000 · 2022-01-18T05:12:00+00:00

In some circumstances yes, in some circumstances no. In my opinion gender relations are too complicated to justify ascribing overarching privilege to one gender.

RhinoNomad · 2022-01-18T19:37:07+00:00

I think this most honest answer would be "sometimes". I do think I get interrupted less than my female counterparts, and that it can be easier to get respect as a man (or at least a lot simpler than it is for women). But at the same time, people care a lot less when I'm hurt/sick/uncomfortable and people respect my boundaries a lot less. I'm also a lot more likely to experience violence than women are and my issues, whether it's about the criminal justice system, sexual violence, domestic violence etc, are largely ignored.

People don't believe me when I talk about the past emotional and physical abuse I've endured. There were no shelters, there were no refuges, there were no social services available when I needed them and the ones that did exist outright rejected me or framed me as being the perpetrator of violence.

Especially being a black man, I do feel life would be easier if I was a black woman because at least there is a community actively working for my issues and specific organization in large companies that seek to promote my welfare because of my gender. I work for a large tech company, and while there aren't a whole lot of black people in general, every black person that works here is a black woman, there is only one other black man that I've found and he works in a complete different org so I never interact with him. Being black, male, and middle class is frustratingly lonely.

Punder_man · 2022-01-18T05:49:06+00:00

For me I just hate the idea that just because of my gender I have automatically received / continue to receive or benefit from "Privilege"
Far too often have I had a feminist try to dismiss anything I have to say with the classic "You need to check your privilege!"

The biggest problem here is all they are seeing is my gender (male) my race (white) and are jumping to the assumed conclusion that I MUST by no reason beyond those two factors.. be 'privileged'

It doesn't matter if I grew up in abject poverty or had to work harder than others to get where I am today.. Nope! apparently hard work and effort don't exist to these people because it's all the result of 'Privilege'

I mean sure.. its IS possible that I benefited from 'privilege' at some point in my life.. but that would be the exception.. not the rule..
I'm so sick and tired of the assumption being that if you are both white and a man that your life has been nothing but easy street with the magical force of 'privilege' providing everything for you..

Yes, Privilege is a thing.. but its not as universal or as common as many a feminist would have people believe.

Mahameghabahana · 2022-01-18T02:55:55+00:00

I think I have the privilege of not being paranoid of being in danger? But that may bite in the future judging by increasing number of murder and come in my town victim being mostly men). But for reason I still don't feel paranoid when traveling in night, though my parents (yes 21 year old but still live with them as it's normal in india) do call me every 10 min to come back quickly.

bad-judgement · 2022-01-18T03:24:45+00:00

Any privilege a man thinks he has is quickly obliterated in family court when they predominantly lose access to their kids. Even if it’s not their fault.

Mr-X1 · 2022-01-18T05:42:58+00:00

Overall? Being a male means you are generally disadvantaged where I live.

2022-01-17T22:28:44+00:00

I can remember the sense of gratitude of never getting a period when I learned about it.

While the greater strength comes with some social obligation I still consider it a net-poistive, even being biologically disposable, while not a privilege, can nevertheless (if one succeed) be a springboard into fame, glory and wealth.

The top and the bottom is filled with men for this reason.

Horny20yrold · 2022-01-18T00:54:29+00:00

I will ignore the bad taste this dumb, bigoted, demented term* leaves in my metaphorical mouth whenever I hear it, I will just talk about some of my "boy isn't me so lucky I was born a man" moments, which I definitely had, and some of my opposite moments too, which I had a lot of too.

I'm pleased I wasn't born a woman due to the pain of childbirth and periods. The first one is probably not a big deal since I turned out to be an anti-natalist anyway, so unless being born a woman somehow changes my brain in unforseen ways, I would have probably turned out to be an anti-natalist woman and never give birth. Periods are an unavoidable problem though.

I'm sometimes also enraged by the amount of control male relatives exert over their female relatives in my society, even when the intentions are 100% pure and admirable (wanting to protect them from nasty scumbags), fathers in particular get super condescending and unhealthily controlling when trying to prevent their daughters having nights outs and such. Very loud too.

I'm always of the opinion that if you truly "want what's best" for a person - man or woman -, you never raise your voice or throw a tantrum on them during your arguments. Raising the voice always seems like a pride-saving move, like you're too offended the other party isn't giving what you feel is due consideration to your words and you want to teach them a lesson. The person doing this doesn't seem too worried about anything but their own pride.

As for moments when I regretted being born a man, they are many. The latest one is from about 6 months ago, I was considering suicide very seriously. It got to the point where I was researching drug names to kill myself as painlessly as possible. I was swimming in tears. Then one of the family friends car broke down and my father called on me to go with him to help, I wiped all tears like nothing happened.

Basically, being born a man means you're not allowed to show weakness. Those words are so overused and clichéd, I know, but they denote a reality no man can escape from. The touch deprivation, the reluctance to talk about your mental problems with your family, the sheer horror of being seen with tears on your face. You're not human, you're a piece of reinforced concrete. Take whatever life throws at you and just sit there, because society absolutely despises, hates, is disgusted by, men who show weakness. You're not getting help either way, asking for it will additionally lose you your respect and dignity. If you crack, crack quietly.

All in all, I don't think you can meaningfully compare suffering. I, as an anti-natalist, am a strong believer in the hedonistic treadmill concept, which is the idea that the brain always feels the same suffering regardless of the absolute magnitude of the tragedies it lives through.

Sure my life is better than a 15th century serf or a holocaust captive, but that just means my brain finds something else to bitch about. You know how some teachers curve the grades so that (say) 70% of the students pass no matter what their grades? the brain is doing something similar, it will get upset about the worst 60-70% of what happens in your life, and it will get super upset, no matter if it's a death or you losing a video game match.

So that's why you can't compare suffering or gauge whether men are more "privileged" in life or women more "oppressed" or all this pathetic nonsense.

*: Not insulting you OP, I know you just want a productive conversation, and you put the dumb term in scare quotes.

Carkudo · 2022-01-18T04:46:54+00:00

I'm a 38 year old incel working a low level job in a traditional corporate environment. I get comments about not being married at this age. I'm distrusted. I'll be the first to go should anything happen. No, I don't feel privileged at all.

Maephia · 2022-01-18T13:40:49+00:00

Male privilege is only true for attractive and charismatic men (preferably wealthy). If you're an average guy and aren't charismatic then society will not care about you at all. And if you are more of the timid/quiet type then be ready to be constantly treated like a child by everyone, as if being a man was all about being loud.

Separate_Activity_37 · 2022-01-18T03:05:48+00:00

A confident sometimes. There are some scenarios where I definitely think I have been privileged because of my sex, and others where I would say I was marginalized for it.

mushysandwich121 · 2022-01-18T00:22:32+00:00

Please tell me what special treatment I am supposed to get for having a dick..? I see pretty girls and strong chad-esque guys get lots of attention and privilege from eachother. Like being trusted from the very beginning, given the best deals and striking great business relationships with lots of smiles and very little pushback. It's not their Gender - they're just normies.

You think smaller, less stereotypically masculine guys and below average girls get that kind of treatment in society? ha! noooo.....

Then when Chads treat them poorly they literally turn their attention to the guy next to them and blame him.

politicsthrowaway230 · 2022-01-17T22:08:24+00:00

Unsure about the word "sex" here. I guess "privileged because of your sex/AGAB" and "privileged because of your gender" are separate questions?

The short answer is "in a couple of areas". I would not say men are leagues apart from women, day-to-day there is very little difference.

The main way I feel I'm "privileged" is that I feel like I'm less likely to experience catcalling and (at least certain types of) sexual harassment from random strangers. Indeed these things haven't happened to me yet. I feel like much (sexual and otherwise) abuse of men happens behind closed doors or in plain sight but more through toxic relationship dynamics. Whether this is the "correct take" on it I'm not sure.

I'm maybe less weary of walking home in the dark or meet strangers and such than most women, but I think a lot of that is because women have it drilled in them to be cautious. (well, my parents tried to drill it into me but I always resisted to it and am maybe not careful enough now) If someone wanted to assault me or mug me, I don't think they would have that much more difficulty than with the average woman. Don't know whether to call that privilege or not because I don't think it translates into anything tangible. I think any incident happening to me would flip my opinion quickly enough.

I've never received gendered discouragement from family, but I have suffered discouragement.

I don't feel like my parents would have brought me up much different were I born a woman, but I really couldn't say since I don't have a sister. Can't think of anything else.

Algiz56 · 2022-01-18T07:21:15+00:00

Non-USA perspective. (Eastern Europe, white straight married male of 30 y.o. From a country with strong tradition and family values).

Yes and no.

Yes, because

As a guy I am supposed to

Be in charge in crisis situations.
Provide and protect, though nothing bans my wife for going to work too.
Have a higher salary and more value in the eyes of employers, because I am more reliable employee, because I am a husband and head of a family, so have things, that anchor me to workplace.
Be responsible and show initiative.
Be brave and self-confident. Also be honest and just.

What do I get for this.

Respect and reverence. I am seen more "serious and reliable" than I was before marriage.
My word is taken with much more weight.
I have a say in any and all of my family's buisness.
My issues are to be addressed for both my well-being and well-being of the ones who depend on me. So I do not have to just "suck it up" and "deal with it". If something bothers me, I can more or less freely talk about it.

All and all, this both gives me power and responsibility, stable background and feeling of being valued qnd cared about.

And no, because, guess what? Women get all the same boons, but for different set of responsibilities, wich is no less to mine.

rammo123 · 2022-01-18T21:09:10+00:00

I have privileges but I'm not privileged (as least not for my gender).

2022-01-20T11:40:04+00:00

I do recognize each gender has its privileges in different situations. But lately I struggle with loneliness and it feels very much like women have an advantage in that department. An active social life has so many benefits that it feels like a huge advantage to have in life, especially when we are becoming more and more isolated from each other as local community continues to dissolve. I'm tired of the notion that my gender "gatekeeps relationships" when I can't even get my foot in the door.

Title	Do you feel "privileged" because of your sex? why or why not?
Author	Mysterious_Orchid726
Upvotes	29
Comments	47
Date	January 17, 2022 9:21 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/s6f9du/do_you_feel_privileged_because_of_your_sex_why_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/do-you-feel-privileged-because-of-your-sex-why-or.1097021 https://theredarchive.com/post/1097021