I think MRAs and feminists often look at the same things, just from different angles. So I figured I would try to explain this from an MRA perspective using feminist language that they will appreciate a little more.

Women are encouraged, because of the patriarchy and internalized misogyny, to take life easier and work less. Meanwhile men are encouraged, due to toxic masculinity and "the patriarchy also hurting men", to work more. Women, because of internalized misogyny, take advantage of this and "trap men" for financial gain instead of working hard themselves.

These patriarchal gender roles exist because women, through no fault of their own (we assume), prioritize a man's earning capabilities over any other factor. This in turn communicates to men that if they want a wife or a girlfriend, they have to work more to earn more money and spend it on women.

Obviously this is advantageous to women, and leads to things like lower stress and a longer life expectancy, although it does harm women as well. For example, this is one of the primary causes of the earnings gap and the child care gap.

Feminists don't tend to delve into this side of the equation very much, but these conclusions should be pretty obvious to anyone who bothers to look at it. Including even inside the feminist ideological framework. Not only is it true that men are used for their economic resources, these gender roles are actively enforced by women, not by men. Presumably "internalized misogyny" and "patriarchal femininity" are responsible. But at least half the problem is caused by gender role enforcement amoung women, no matter how they want to spin it. Which means men can only do so much on their side of the equation to "fix it".

　

Let's tear down the patriarchy!

Following from this logic, I think feminism and the MRM ought to have the same goals here. So let's try to explain these goals from a feminist perspective.

Tearing down the patriarchy means holding women responsible for earning their own money and not dating men based on their ability to provide for them. We need to "teach women to respect men for other reasons besides their money".

It also involves tearing down the "patriarchal institutions" of alimony, unfair divorce settlements, and unfair child custody and child support settlements.

Since these stem from "patriarchal, traditional gender norms", feminists ought to be fighting against this, right? And I mean actually doing something about it: in part by recognizing that the problem exists, recognizing that women play a role here, and recognizing that the various laws and social institutions on this topic need to be reformed.

So where do the "true feminists" who "care about gender equality" run off to when this topic is brought up?