When I was a young boy, I was not very masculine, but it was balanced. I liked walking around in the town where I lived and on old industry grounds, playing with a friend of mine we were having an adventure or were in WW II. I liked the Boy Scouts. I even liked fighting (not mock fighting, but real fighting) sometimes, though it didn't help much that most boys were stronger than me. On the other hand: I liked melancholy music and melancholy books, I didn't like car- or motorbike races (still don't). I liked Batman and Thunderbirds, but not really serious action films. In short: it was balanced, but I was a boy.
In my teen years and even more in my college years, I hardly cultivated my masculine side, being already quite leftist and not considering it of much value. Taking risks, dominating if necessary, acting tough and noisy, being stoic about my feelings - sadness or fear, but also love or longing - I thought it all a bit tasteless. Having deep, sensitive, personal talks about feelings, relationships and the meaning of it all - that was what it was all about. (I still have trouble connecting to people without those deep talks.)
Well, I'm more or less alright the way I am now, but I can't say this attitude brought me very far - neither practical nor when it comes to mental health. I earn just enough to make a living, I'm single, I've seen some therapists in my life, though I never had a real psychosis or serious depression.
That's why I'm always skeptical when men - also LWMAs - start talking about 'toxic roles' men and boys have to be liberated from. Please, let them cultivate their masculinity in a good way. If they're really not built for that, alright, don't force them. But don't presume that from the beginning.
[–]helloiseeyou2020 27 points28 points29 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]MelissaMiranti 7 points8 points9 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]helloiseeyou2020 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MelissaMiranti 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Blauwpetjevalued LWMA contributor[S] 12 points13 points14 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]pebspi 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]a-man-from-earthleft-wing male advocate 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]helloiseeyou2020 5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]a-man-from-earthleft-wing male advocate 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Blauwpetjevalued LWMA contributor[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]a-man-from-earthleft-wing male advocate 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MelissaMiranti 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]_-_010_-_left-wing male advocate 8 points9 points10 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]PARAN01D_R1GHT01Dright-wing guest 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]_-_010_-_left-wing male advocate 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Carkudo 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Quix_Nix 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Blauwpetjevalued LWMA contributor[S] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Quix_Nix 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BloomingBrains 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link