When I was a young boy, I was not very masculine, but it was balanced. I liked walking around in the town where I lived and on old industry grounds, playing with a friend of mine we were having an adventure or were in WW II. I liked the Boy Scouts. I even liked fighting (not mock fighting, but real fighting) sometimes, though it didn't help much that most boys were stronger than me. On the other hand: I liked melancholy music and melancholy books, I didn't like car- or motorbike races (still don't). I liked Batman and Thunderbirds, but not really serious action films. In short: it was balanced, but I was a boy.

In my teen years and even more in my college years, I hardly cultivated my masculine side, being already quite leftist and not considering it of much value. Taking risks, dominating if necessary, acting tough and noisy, being stoic about my feelings - sadness or fear, but also love or longing - I thought it all a bit tasteless. Having deep, sensitive, personal talks about feelings, relationships and the meaning of it all - that was what it was all about. (I still have trouble connecting to people without those deep talks.)

Well, I'm more or less alright the way I am now, but I can't say this attitude brought me very far - neither practical nor when it comes to mental health. I earn just enough to make a living, I'm single, I've seen some therapists in my life, though I never had a real psychosis or serious depression.

That's why I'm always skeptical when men - also LWMAs - start talking about 'toxic roles' men and boys have to be liberated from. Please, let them cultivate their masculinity in a good way. If they're really not built for that, alright, don't force them. But don't presume that from the beginning.