I'm tired of being the target of revenge for things I didn't do.

Forgetaboutthelonely · 2021-01-29T13:44:58+00:00

I wanted to sticky this here because I saw it on the main mensrights sub and really wanted to drive home how much harm this is doing.

This is an 18 year old. Barely an adult. And they're feeling sick of being demonized by feminist rhetoric.

When are we as a society going to stand up and stop pathologizing innocent men just for being men.

EpsilonFactor633 · 2021-01-29T14:52:53+00:00

This is why I stopped wasting time and energy trying to please people who say I’ve been coddled my entire life for being male or lump me in with rapists, mass shooters, and so on. When people told me I should go to the Women’s March, I flat out refused and said I didn’t want to be around a bunch of toxic and self-righteous cunts. When I’m accused of being a misogynist because I question claims that female leaders handled COVID better or don’t think AOC is the future and our savior or Greta Thunberg really is that impressive, my response is that I don’t care. I don’t even keep it to myself that I think gender studies is a worthless degree and anyone who has one is a worthless human being. If they’re going to hate me no matter what I do, I might as well do what I want and preserve my sanity.

Note: this is not to say that I refuse to support women in general. For example, I have gone out of my way to help some of my female colleagues get the recognition they deserve or finish a project they’re struggling with. I truly want the women in my life to succeed and thrive, and if there’s anything I can do to help that along, you can be sure I’ll try my best.

problem_redditor · 2021-01-30T15:22:23+00:00

1/2

Oh yeah. Feminist ideology completely screwed with me the first time I learned about it and heard what they were saying about men and masculinity. I've got a personal anecdote about just how harmful it can be. It's overlong, waffly and somewhat indulgent, and I don't know how to talk about it without sounding like an idiot, but perhaps someone can relate.

I grew up in a fairly traditionalist country, but I never felt as if I, personally, benefited from being a guy. Perhaps my experience was abnormal and other men were just rolling in privilege, but I certainly wasn't. In fact, I was routinely treated in a much harsher way than, say, my sister was, and continuously was exposed to feminist-inspired rhetoric that painted men as privileged (Yes, I was exposed to that narrative even there).

I was particularly curious as a kid. I'd read about science, history, etc. I'd watch documentaries about subjects I loved from as young as the age of 7. I used to have all kinds of special interests that I would devote my entire day to. I wasn't interested in gender politics at all, but despite that I still got to hear all about women's accomplishments. It was shoved in my face sometimes, even in books, movies, and other media which weren't specifically about gender. I'd hear all about how amazing women were, usually despite these evil men who were supposedly trying to hold them back, and all about how they could do anything so much better than men. It was so utterly demoralising to read about that, especially at such a young age.

I knew that the propaganda I was hearing felt hateful, biased and illogical, but everyone was saying it, and I almost bought into it myself. My sister completely bought into it the first time she heard it, despite the fact that I'd routinely see her get away with things I would never get away with, and despite the fact that people made much more favourable assumptions about her than they ever made about me. People always assumed she was hardworking, practical, dilligent, well-behaved, etc, and as a socially awkward, fairly inattentive young guy I was always treated as lazy and assumed to be intentionally misbehaving. By everyone. And people criticised me over it. Constantly.

My mother bought into a good bunch of feminist rhetoric. Despite her claiming that she "was not a feminist", she'd constantly claim she'd "rather be male" and make all kinds of claims about how she thought women were being shortchanged. She'd complain about "male misogynist pigs". She'd claim that things like the witch hunts were just "wanting to kill well-informed and smart women". I heard her say these things from a young age. After learning just how anti-feminist I am she now denies saying a lot of these things, of course, despite me vividly remembering them because of the effect they had on my psyche.

My father, for as long as I can remember, was constantly shit on by my mother. She could get into quite a temper and she'd want things to be done a certain way. She'd give him instructions (some of which were extremely unclear) and she'd completely rip into him if he didn't do it right. That's not to say she was a terrible person - she had a lot of good intentions and could be really lovely to be around - but when she got into a mood, which was quite often, she would subject my father to what I would call emotional abuse. She'd bring up everything under the sun from the past and fling it at him in order to punish him for whatever transgression he had committed. She'd yell at him relentlessly all day. I like her and still talk to her, but she could be one of the most tyrannical people (and still can), and I haven't forgotten that.

I constantly saw women complain about the most trivial of problems and calling that "sexism". One of the most incredible ones was seeing my mother complain about being forced to wear a dress in the workplace (gasp!) and completely ignoring how her male counterparts were also forced into restrictive dress codes. I saw them cherrypick examples of men acting badly against women or women being shortchanged, and use these anecdotes as if it was an example of a huge social problem. I didn't bring up counter-examples because I felt I wasn't experienced enough to talk about it, and felt they'd ignore any counter-examples or try to handwave them away anyway.

During my younger years I actively detested being male. I wished I was born female (and to some extent still do today). I wasn't trans. I just had the idea, though I didn't know how to articulate it then, that I was being attacked on all sides. I had to endure all sorts of unfavourable stereotypes and prejudices against me, and yet still had to hear about how I was privileged because I was male and how I should "check my privilege" and always remember the women and remember how they had it worse. It felt so utterly cruel and unfair. And there was no one event that fucked me up. It was more a death-by-1000-cuts situation characterised by constant small slights to one's dignity and self-esteem. So it was hard to identify exactly what was bothering me, and even harder to tell people about the problem I was having.

It's honestly no wonder that I developed the most incredible inferiority complex after being beaten over the head with messages from the larger society about how women were "taking over" men and could outperform them in anything. After seeing women relentlessly cut into men with absolutely no consideration for them (both on an individual and group level). After being assumed to be misbehaving whereas my sister was always thought of as studious and well-behaved by most people. After being bombarded with message after message about how men hated women so much they would subject them to such awful campaigns of tyranny and oppression. And whenever I would try and talk to people about this, despite the fact that it was difficult to put what was bothering me into words, and say "hey, I have a problem with all this" nobody would take my complaints seriously. Feminism is a good thing, you see. Why do you feel so intimidated?

(2/2 is in a response to this comment).

Blauwpetje · 2021-01-30T09:30:26+00:00

Everybody who hasn't retired yet, has, at least in the west, grown up in a society with omnipresent measures taken to make up for women's 'disadvantages', while never addressing their advantages. So if there even ever were dominant men profiting from a higher status, it's long in the past now.

I'm tired of being the target of revenge for things I didn't do.

Crosspost "I'm tired of being the target of revenge for things I didn't do." from /r/MensRights:

Believewomen just means believe women because often times in the past they weren't

Title	I'm tired of being the target of revenge for things I didn't do.
Author	Forgetaboutthelonely
Upvotes	129
Comments	37
Date	January 29, 2021 1:42 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/l7stdq/im_tired_of_being_the_target_of_revenge_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/im-tired-of-being-the-target-of-revenge-for-things.1062013 https://theredarchive.com/post/1062013