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Men and the sexual side-effects of anti-depressants

April 6, 2020

Many men suffer from depression and anti-depressants help many people deal with depression. However, there's a uniquely male barrier to taking anti-depressants: virility.

I'm on a medication right now (not anti-depressants) that's almost completely removed both sexual ability and interest and it got me thinking how this might affect men. I am luckily in a relationship founded upon love and respect with no expectation of gender normativity from either side but many relationships are based on both partners fulfilling their expected gender roles.

For men, one of these roles is to be (1) constantly interested in sex and (2) able at any time to sexually perform. If a man is on anti-depressants (or one of the many other medications with sexual side effects), then this is an expectation they will no longer be able to fulfill. Whether or not their partner sees them as 'less manly' because of this, the fear would still exist and deserves consideration.

How many men don't get help that's available for their mental health because of this gender expectation or because of their fear in being unable to live up to this gender expectation?

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[–]Xemnas81 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oh God I am so dead here. Been on Zoloft for 2 years and every single time I complain about this my doctor (I've seen 4 different ones on call, mine's always busy) act like it's a non-issue.

[–]peanutbutterjams[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've seen 4 different ones on call, mine's always busy

Hello fellow Canadian?

Not right that they're not taking it seriously. It's an important part of life. It's also weird to lose your sex drive. I'm not just sexually dysfunctional - I suddenly have almost zero interest in sex.

I guess they're triaging and consider the depression a greater health risk but they could at least offer to refer you to a counselor or something.

[–]Aaod 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

They also tend to cause weight gain which is oh so fun.

[–]thereslcjg2000left-wing male advocate 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m on Lexapro and don’t have much of a sex drive, but honestly I didn’t have much of one even before I became medicated.

[–]hatefulreason 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

my issue is my sex drive is too high. i always wondered what it would be like if i could get some medicine that in the uk they give to 8yr old kids to focus in school, but i don't know if those are anti-depressants and they are not available without a doctor's prescription so i guess i have to deal with it on my own

[–]peanutbutterjams[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Maybe you can talk to you doctor about something to lightly dampen your sex drive. Because I hear you about the distraction factor. Before this new medicine, it was sometimes hard to focus.

I'm not an anti-porn person but not looking at porn is one way to help with that. And I find that going without masturbation as long as you can actually helps. Not at first, but over time.

However, around here (I don't know about Romania) the way some women dress is basically soft-core porn. I am NOT against a women's right to choose what they wear but I would be for some appreciation from them for the effect of those choices. Yoga pants and tank tops are only not considered lingerie because of cultural perceptions and it really does affect men, their ability to concentrate and the amount of sex drive it builds up.

Again, for someone combing my comments, women absolutely have a right to choose what they wear but men should be able to voice how those choices affect them and for them to be listened to.

[–]hatefulreason 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

women want the right to wear what they want but aren't ok with men wearing what they want (see borat) or using their bathrooms :)

i would rather have something that gives me that brainless focus so i can work or go to the gym and keep at it for more than 1 month

[–]peanutbutterjams[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Or men looking at what they choose to wear. (looking, not staring or leering.)

And yeah it's a bit weird when I can't wear jogging pants to work but women can wear yoga pants.

Anyways, talk to your doctor. Maybe there's something mild but I doubt it. I'm guessing you're in your 20's, 30's? (checked your post history to make sure you weren't underage before I started talking about masturbation) but I find that it gets better as you get older.

And just stop looking. It's not easy but it's doable.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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