Hello men of Reddit,

I work with a small non-profit providing --free-- online support groups for survivors of abuse and sexual trauma. We have two men's survivor support groups (1.5 hours once a week). In two weeks, one group will have to shut down due to there being nobody available to facilitate. We are 100% volunteer-run.

As we all know, there are very few resources out there specifically for men. We have a long waitlist full of these guys who are finally reaching out for support after sexual abuse or trauma (including domestic violence & destructive family systems). They are still waiting because we don't have the male staff needed to run groups for them. The goal at this time is four men's only spaces (based on the waitlist), with plans to expand as registrations increase. This is where we need you.

I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but this is a huge issue in today's society. Men are trained to be strong, to show no emotion. To never speak of the things which have hurt them. To basically deny they even have emotions, except anger. Vulnerability can equal humiliation. Feelings of shame and weakness silence them. They feel worthless and unlovable and unfixably flawed. Broken. They think it is their fault they are hurting. They think there is something wrong with them.

One man said, "My wife and kids would rather see me die on that white horse than see me hit the ground." Men are more than protectors. They are more than heroes, or ATM's, or emotional punching bags.

They are people. They have humanity. They are not unfeeling robots.

The harm done to our fathers, brothers, sons, and friends is far more hidden and "shameful" in today's world. This is not to say women have it easy by any stretch of the imagination. They do, however, have a wide variety of programs available, while if you have the unfortunate luck of being both male and abused/neglected/assaulted/etc, you have very few options to speak about and process it. That's fucking wrong.

These men's groups are one of the only places on the internet where they can safely share their struggles and growth, no matter their life circumstances or financial situation. Every group is secure, confidential, and private; and all emails are encrypted.

At Hope Recovery we do NOT focus on what happened. The main goal is to discuss how it affected us and what we want to do (or are doing) about it. It is to process emotions, celebrate progress, and to share vulnerability with those who have been hurt as we have.

I know some of you know exactly what I am talking about. You've been there. It's been dark. You've experienced things that fill you with shame, make you feel weak. There is pain buried within you that's never been spoken aloud. This is the place to do that. There is no judgment, only hope. No ridicule, but support. No shame, only sharing. The goal is to hold each other up when we aren't strong enough to do it ourselves, and then to learn to find that strength within.

If you're struggling: please sign up for group and you'll be added to the waitlist.

To volunteer: You don't have to be a survivor or in recovery. Your age, background, and education don't matter. The only requirements are empathy, communication skills, and a solid internet connection. https://www.hope4-recovery.org/volunteer.html

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AS A HUGE SIDE NOTE: We are absolutely in need of more volunteers period, of any gender. We had five groups at the beginning of the pandemic, and now there are over 60 each week. This ask is specifically for men because I do NOT want to see the men's group(s) shut down.

Most of the groups are mixed-gender and there are waitlists for all of them, with about 20 new survivors registering every day.

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I am asking from the bottom of my heart that if you have some love to give, please consider volunteering. It is only two hours a week and I've found that through my own work with them, my recovery and progress have made leaps forward. I don't think I've ever done something so fulfilling.

Your job is basically to open a Zoom room and help guide the conversation topic for that group (1.5 hours each). You would do check-ins, ask questions, respond with empathy, and keep everyone civil and on-topic. Mostly the group manages itself without a ton of input required. There are two facilitators for every group so you'll never be on your own. That's it. That's all that's needed!

There is first an application with two references required, then a live video interview to make sure you're not obviously sketchy. After that there are ten hours of free training required, and a $19 background check.

If you want to volunteer but the background check fee is a barrier, please PM me and I will cover the cost

Thank you for reading, and an especially big thank you to those who are willing to reach out their hand to help pull another man up and out of his darkness, just a little closer to the sun. In extending your compassion, you may find it relieves some of your own suffering as well.

Please PM me if you have any questions or maybe just want to talk about anything you've been through. I'm a survivor myself and this issue is really close to my heart.

Thank you again! Take care and be well :)

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*** If you want to help in a different way, please link this post to your FB, Twitter, etc! ***

(You can also donate through the website, on the "Get Involved" tab)

p.s. Hope Recovery is a Christian-based organization, but almost all of the groups are secular (including the men's). Many survivors have experienced religious or spiritual abuse and the goal is to be as inclusive as possible. Our group rules prohibit discussion of religion, politics, or any other potentially divisive topics (barring the faith-based groups). It know there may be some hesitancy so I want to make it clear that it's a non-issue. Hasn't come up since my interview when I was asked if I want to do faith-based or secular groups.

Hope Recovery is a nonprofit, tax-exempt 501(c)(3) organization (Tax ID number 46-2919697)