What I've noticed about the Redpill
This one's a doozy so strap in!
One thing that I've noticed about the red pill is that when you talk about men's issues (when it isn't derailing that is) you can be linked to the incel; MRA, mgtow, red pill movement and people will just end the conversation there. There's no further digging as to why people may want to talk about this and can make a person feel bigoted for even bringing up certain things. I'll give you an example.
There was an mra that went on the "Majority Report" that was trying to have a discussion on men's issues. The guy asked Sam how he felt about this fact and what he thought about him and Sam called him a "lunatic." He said this before the conversation really began and I personally can't really blame him. A lot of mras tend to be the type to be extremely stubborn and toxic. However, I think it is unfair to call all people that actually care about these issues as "lunatics." Also to be fair, the mra there certainly was not the best representative. Another example I'll give is the social media aspect. You'll have men who legitimately complain about how society will look at men in certain ways and the retort will just be left with, "Well men created society soooo..." It goes nowhere and you are chastised for even bringing it up in certain situations. I've even seen trends on there where gfs will hit their bfs in the groin as a joke and people will find this out right hilarious. I saw one woman make fun of the men in the comments calling them "butthurt." This was also the same video where she filmed her bf wallowing in pain in a fetal position. One last example I have is when I was still in college. I remember just randomly talking about how a woman was being weird with me and kinda made me uncomfortable. The female coworker next to me shut me down so fast to the point that I never brought it up again.
Why am I saying all this? I think that the reason talking about men's problems is so scrutinized is not just because it is affiliated with toxic groups like mensrights, incel, etc, but also that they were mainly the ones talking about certain male issues. The problem was that it wasn't in good faith and as a result, numerous men (including myself) were caught up in that whole reactionary sphere for a while. In my past, the main people that would bring up things like male victims and how society can put men in a box were channels like The Quartering, YellowFlash, Bearing, NoBullshit and of course Sargon. I had no avenue in terms of looking at men's issues in a more healthy way. The only things you would get (still to this day in a way) was things that pretty much just included self help. "Men have problems in society? They just need to learn to do better." I've even seen it here in this subreddit as well.
I think the problem also is that people see men in these spaces and just believe that the reason they are there is because they are inherently misogynistic when it's only part of the equation. I've often heard, "Feminists are the only ones battling male SA." In my experience at least, I've never really witnessed that until now. It's at a snail's pace sure but I think it's definitely gaining some traction. My problem is that whenever you hear these conversations being had, it's typically with the depiction of men being the perpetrators and women being the victims. I don't see much talk about the problems with the Duluth model and how it's set up. I also don't see people acknowledging how male body standards are set up in Hollywood until now. I didn't learn about male dv until I was almost 13yo as well. I witnessed this on the "Tyra Banks show" and they had a segment where they let female abusers and their husbands on the show to have a discussion. Mind you I had already known about wife beating to the point where I didn't feel comfortable as a kid wearing a "wife beater" anymore. As a result, it kind of annoys me when someone claims, "but we do talk about these issues." While that may be true in specific friend groups, it certainly can't really be said as an entire community. Even on social media people will say, "give me one men's issue and maybe I'll listen."
Another thing I notice is the lack of knowledge. When men's issues are brought up you'll typically hear about how men can't express emotion. That's it. You might have someone else bring up something more unique but that's basically where the conversation starts and ends. This gives more opportunity for mgtow or the red pill to come in and bring more to the table. The problem with the red pill is that some of what they say about certain things are true but they can easily go off the deep end. Ex: "Flirting is for attractive men not unattractive ones." To a certain extent this is true. I've been in situations where I was groped by a woman and asked them how they would take it if I returned the favor (which was supposed to be an eyeopener for them) to which they replied, "I don't mind." Implying that they only liked being touched inappropriately by attractive guys. This is only true for specific women though as well as the same thing being applied to men as well. Every gender in a way values looks it's just that certain people (no matter the demographic) put more emphasis on it. The right wing reactionaries tend to have a whole laundry list of men's issues they just have the wrong intention about it.
This is even the case for the PUA (pick up artist) community. The group has been scrutinized (rightfully so) by the likes of Kurtis Conner; Cody Ko, Noel Miller, Amanda the Jedi, MoistCritikal, etc, but the problem is that they don't bring in any alternatives. PUAs are the main ones with the solutions which is why you see men still going to these spaces. Macabre Storytelling (a left-leaning yt channel that focuses on movies and men's issues) had a good retort about this issue.
https://youtu.be/be_Ms3nVG10?t=955
Anyways, to reiterate what I said earlier, I think the reason men tend to fall down this rabbit hole and why men's issues is so often linked with toxicity is because of the lack of support by the media in addressing this as well as the ignorance on the issues coupled with it. What do you guys think?
