Lately in online feminist circles this question has been constantly asked, and it is for good reason, it is a question that, as men, does make us reflect on our position of power in heterosexual relationships.

Asking someone if they want to be ours implies a submission in heterosexual power relations and is something that as men we reproduce unconsciously and without thinking about the subtext of this: a clear example of a Durkheim social fact; a behavior perfectly reproduced collectively.

However, I believe that the answer to why it is articulated in this way and how to change this model of heterosexual courtship lies with the other actor of this: heterosexual women.

Why am I saying this?

During courtship, the man is the one who must socially look for the woman, invite her out, pay for her food and return her safely to her home, all these acts that are intended to show the woman that the man is a good protector and provider for her. , and that is why you should choose it.

The sexual revolution of women in the 70s made them free from the traditional roles in the heterosexual relationship, they no longer have to automatically assume the role of housewives and mothers, they are free.

A freedom that men do not have.

How many times have you heard your friends say that they left a man "because he was a boy and had no ambitions"? And how many times have you heard a man say this about a woman?

To conclude, I must point out that I am not saying that women are exclusively to blame for the fact that men say “Do you want to be my girlfriend?” When we seek to enter into a heterosexual relationship, it would be just as ridiculous and reductionist as radical feminist rhetoric.

What I am saying is that the restructuring of gender roles and the dismantling of its toxic elements does not fall solely on men; falls on both.

Men will remain trapped in male disposability and its consequences, until we understand that women's lives are worth no more than ours, and that there is no reason to give our all in a relationship when the other person does not.

And of course, women will continue to be trapped in the role of “dominated” until the social behaviors that benefit them and not only those that harm them are discarded, that is, they cannot hope to stop being a “male consumer product” if they continue to play a passive role in heterosexual relationships.

However, this is perhaps very utopian and requires a change in the collective psyche, which will take years and will cost a lot, something that we must all be aware of and we must make changes in our lives every day if we want to achieve it.

In conclusion:

Women, if you no longer want men to tell you "Do you want to be my girlfriend?", What you have to do is very simple: You go to a man you like and say "Do you want to be my boyfriend?"

Written by Masculinismo México, a very thoughtful men's rights page in Spanish that aim to bring men's rights advocacy to Latin America.