A friend of mine is currently going on her quarterly dive into how it sucks to be a woman because she doesn't feel comfortable walking alone, especially at night, and how there's so many things she does as a woman that men just "don't have to think about".
And every time this conversation happens, there's a whole list of things that men "don't have to think about"... and I've done about 90% of them. I should probably mention at this point that, believe it or not, I'm a man.
I'm not frustrated with the decision to be cautious about personal safety, or want to imply that the risks of being assaulted are nil considering I've known people who were attacked in broad daylight. It's fine to be cautious and there are risks out there, for sure.
I'm much more frustrated with the complete dismissal that I, a man, don't ever feel fear when I go outside. I absolutely do. I walk past a lot of bars to get to my current apartment. I'm afraid I'm going to get involved in some drunken brawl or that people are going to victimize me because I look like an easy target with money.
The whole thing just reeks with oppression olympics. If someone wants to have a discussion about personal safety, or precautions women take relative to men, then go for it. Just don't write off a whole fucking gender as living such different lives they couldn't possibly imagine what it's like to be worried.
[–]day5tar 47 points48 points49 points (19 children) | Copy Link
[–]ZXD31915 points [recovered] (17 children) | Copy Link
I'm going the other way with it. It actually is the point. Men are more likely to target men, so it makes sense for men to be more wary walking around at night. How is this, then, a women's issue when men are going to be victimized the majority of the time? If it's a gendered issue at all, and I don't think it is, then it's really a men's issue that we don't care about, because the vast majority of us choose not to live in fear, and actively engage in risk management. Women, meanwhile, will actively get spooked by their own shadows outside of a police department, and then walk through the roughest part of town completely unaware of their surroundings, like Mr. Magoo.
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Let them. They're going to blame men, anyway, as they have for all time. Their fiction only has weight because people choose to kow tow to them, and their appeal to emotion.
Would you agree or disagree that, in terms of natural disposition, women are more likely to be fearful than men, with or without direction? Is there a correlation between that fear and one's physical capabilities in relation to one another and the world at large?
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Then you'd also disagree that men are less risk averse, in general, or would also blame that on conditioning? Do you believe all differences are purely sociological and have no basis in our physical make up?
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You don't think being physically weaker in just about every way imaginable plays into their fear of men and the world, in general? That's a little weird.
That said, none of what you described addresses what we're actually talking about, however, which is the act of being afraid, and whether or not that prevents you from taking an action. There is absolutely a biological component to this as, across all societies across the globe, it's men who take the highest risks, be they unnecessary or conducive to great rewards. Men from all 3 of your sub groups experience fear to some degree, but they work past it to accomplish a goal, even if that goal is stupid and the means to accomplishing it is incredibly dangerous.
Either men aren't fearful at all and are taking risks, or men are fearful, and are still taking those same risks. Either way, those risks are being taken. The aversion to risk that has been documented thoroughly over the decades that women experience in general is directly attributable to their fear of outcomes, and it has an obvious impact on the decisions they make.
To really boil this down, just look at how dating works. Men approach women, and women either say yes or no. When you ask women why they they don't do the same, they'll come up with all sorts of rationalizations, but it usually comes down to, "what if he says no?". That's the difference in mindset between men and women. Women ask that, while men ask, "What if she says yes?", so we're willing to ask 1000 women out if it means 1 might say yes.
Look at occupations. Which sex takes jobs with the most occupational hazards, in spite of those hazards, and specifically because they pay higher wages? It isn't women.
Everyone experiences fear, but men, as a group, do not allow fear to rule us in the way that it does women. Even something as silly as negotiating higher wages falls into the male sphere of thinking, because while the risk is getting told no, or getting fired, or losing social standing, the reward is making a lot more money, and that's worth it.
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