TLDR; I know some younger guys here may have concerns about what it's like being older and single, if they will be lonely and how they will fill their time with activities, fun etc so I thought I would give some insight as to what your life can be like if you choose this lifestyle. I'm 46, divorced, no kids (for me this was important) vasectomy, have plenty of money, hobbies, sex (if I choose), and have never felt happier and more in control of my destiny. But it didn't start out this way...
Some Background
I grew up in a household that's a traditional family. Dad worked as an engineer, mom was stay at home until we kids were in high-school then she picked up work as a dental hygienist as something to do. They never fought, Dad was and still is a white knight and my Mom is sweet kind and caring. Growing up I always pictured this as how my dating life and eventual marriage would be; a happy home with a loving wife and maybe kids.
I'm no Alpha, if anything maybe I was a charming blue pill who could talk girls into bed...
I never felt social pressure to date, or have girlfriends and to find the "right one" but it's what I thought I wanted and from my upbringing and I thought that's what you were supposed to do, but I never could really buy in. I found when dating, I was spending money on dates I didn't really want to be on, was going on vacations that weren't my decision but it made the current girlfriend happy, and it was my responsibility as a "MAN" to pay, making her happy etc. (This was the teachings of my father).
In reality the three things I wanted in a relationship were: undying loyalty, friendship, and sex.
In relationships longer than a year or two, the sex always diminishes. I figured that was just how things work once the new relationship worked it's way past the infatuation phase. At 28 years old, I met a girl who was finishing her PhD in biology, who was smart, pretty and my best friend. She graduated, we got married, bought the home and settled in for what I thought would be forever. As always the sex diminished, but now the BJ's became non-existant even on special occasions (like that would seriously be the only thing I asked for on my birthday and would never get one). I found that while the friendship remained, the sex evaporated. I wasn't a "nice guy" but I would give in to her wishes without manning up to what my needs were and was way too supportive (White Knight like an AFC), because that's what we're supposed to do... support and be the "man" taking care of our women's needs right?
I refused to cheat on her, but having sex only once a month after me bargaining and getting a sigh "Ok make it quick, America's Got Talent starts in 10 mins and I want to watch" type shit. For fuck's sake this wasn't what I signed up for or what I wanted for the rest of my life... so when the ask for counseling, or any number of suggestions to spice things up failed, I filed for divorce, and thank god we parted on good terms and no crazy drama. I left her the furniture and home, (was very new so no equity) I kept the $5K in credit card debt and considered myself lucky to get out so cheaply, and it was a fresh new start at 36 years old.
That was then, this is now
Since then, which was back in 2008, I've had an amazing time with some short and semi-long term relationships. In all those relationships however, I had already learned the concept of TRP and MGTOW and perhaps had been living them without knowing it.
My lifestyle is basically casually dating, making it clear I didn't want anything long term or serious and that I need a lot of me time. The number one thing is to not emotionally invest, but rather making my life about me and what I want. If things changed to being something I wasn't happy with or they started bitching about me not getting serious enough, I just dumped them and moved on, no looking back. By explaining that I don't want anything serious in the beginning, then it's on them if they want to stick around with me. If they ever want more than I do, I just break up. I can't be held responsible because I told them this from the start. I can walk away guilt free every time. Think about hypergamy. Isn't this what they do to us? When they aren't getting things their way and they have a better option, or someone with more money or an orbiter finally gets them drunk enough, they cheat or leave. I live by the same rules they do, except I'm nice enough to at least tell them this is how it is before we start dating. (take care of your health, stay in style and be a strong independent guy and it's easier to get women when you're older than when you're younger guys. I'm only 5'7" and 155lbs and it's still easily possible with some game)..., I've again moved on to new adventures. Because I never really open up or trust women (AWALT)... when they've cheated, lied, sex dried up, whatever, I've never been emotionally or financially hurt, and that's really what's most important when dealing with women (in my opinion).
Here is what I've done from around 2008-2018 with my life, and this is just the start. (I was 6 figure engineer, but it's not the price of the toys that matters, it's what makes us happy in hobbies and activities)
-Got a vasectomy. I don't want kids as I'm too selfish with my time for them, I never want to be chained to one of the crazy bitches I've read about and I'm not getting trapped.
-Renovated a home and made a tidy profit while living in it at the same time. House was always a wreck but no bitch to complain about that since it's just me and the dog living there while I fix it up. I didn't know shit about it before getting started but I had lots of time to learn
- Purchased a convertible corvette and had the time of my life in it for 3 years. Sold for a small loss but had put 20k miles on it so to be expected. Was an older 2002 model and an awesome "mid-life" car.-Trained in cross-fit and running. Within 2 years I went from semi-couch potato to running my first 50 mile ultra marathon and swimming my first 15km ultraswim-marathon.- Owned a Indian Scout, Zero electric motorcycle and a dirtbike. Could ride, work on, and enjoy my motorcycles and friends in that social circle and no one could complain about my hobby.- Last year I sold everything I own except a few keep-sakes and my motorcycle gear, quit my job and have traveled around the world for the last 15 months off $15k in savings (the price of most weddings). Started in South America, through Iceland, Europe, North Africa, and the Asia's. Next month is Austrailia, New Zealand, then home. If you want to check it out, take a peek on Instagram @The_unknown_adventure
- Once I'm home I will buy a 84 seat school-bus for sale (can get sub $5,000), convert it and put some cheap solar, water and build some furniture then I'm off grid around the states and Canada for...whenever while working a remote I.T. job.
It's ok to date, get laid, have fun with women. You can still be MGTOW and still interact or have sex with women, or you can chose not to. What MGTOW means to me is that you live your life for you, by your rules, what makes you happy, and for god sakes don't put that attention, money, emotions or love into a women, it will never pay you back. Screen women, stay away from the crazy ones (with practice red flags are a lot easier to spot) and if kids are or aren't your thing, get a vasectomy and freeze some boys if you want a kid later...
When you really have embraced the Red Pill, and/or MGTOW, you won't worry about what to do with your free time, you will find you don't have enough time to really worry about women, your friends and hobbies will keep you plenty busy enough. We get one shot at life, why spend your efforts, love and fun on anyone but yourself...and an awesome dog ;)
-SK
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