~ archived since 2018 ~

A message to the son I'll never have

December 12, 2017
371 upvotes

Hey boy,

I wish I had the chance to get to know you. You were never born, never existed, but I think about you often. I dream of times where I could look upon you and see a beaming smile, your blue eyes shining in the sunlight. You may not be real, but I know I love you all the same.

I want to take you outside to play catch, to push you on the swings, to take you to grandpa's and go fishing. I want to be there for all your scraped knees and bumps and bruises. I want to lose my given name and replace it with "Daddy".

I wish I could have the chance to buy you a bicycle, help you take off the training wheels. I wished I could buy you a car and get nervous as you peel out of the drive way.

I would love to be told "he looks just like you." or " That's your son alright!" To watch you score touchdowns and home runs, to watch you play with your friends in your little garage band. To have the privledge to watch you grow into a man.

But this is something I can never have, you can never be a reality. I can't bring you into this world, simply because I cannot find a woman that is fit to be your mother. I can't find a woman who is willing to work with me to provide you with a happy and proper home to grow in.

I refuse to let your mother be some bar whore that pisses on the streets. I refuse to let her be some psychotic manipulatior who's master plan is to take you away from me. I refuse to bring you into a world where the cards are stacked against you, where by merit of your white skin and blue eyes makes you a public enemy.

The world has changed these last few years. It has changed in ways that no child should have to grow up in. War is coming, both at home and from far away.

You do not exist, not because of fear, but because of love. For I love you too much to willingly put you in harm's way. Even if you were here, by the time you become a man, I will be dead. I cannot protect you from those who would do you harm just for fun. And this is why you will never be.

Love, Just a Man

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Post Information
Title A message to the son I'll never have
Author ManIsWalking
Upvotes 371
Comments 184
Date December 12, 2017 9:33 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit /r/MGTOW
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/a-message-to-the-son-ill-never-have.524865
https://theredarchive.com/post/524865
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/7je5s3/a_message_to_the_son_ill_never_have/
Red Pill terms in post
Comments

[–]ZealousMathematician35 points36 points  (27 children) | Copy Link

You can still have him. If you live long enough and all goes well.

I’ll work on artificial womb. It needs the genetics of two men. By then China will be approaching a prototype due to its gendered population inequality.

Just find a dude willing to give some skin to function eventually as a false egg and your sperm in five samples and with a 30% guarantee and 4 trials you’ll have the kid. Or you can get an 85-200k surrogate if you want au natural.

[–]TheYekke0 points1 point  (25 children) | Copy Link

I had this child, adopted as a baby. Everything I ever wanted. Just ashes and memories now. If you want it that bad, find a farmer’s daughter and commit.

[–]ZealousMathematician6 points7 points  (22 children) | Copy Link

...I know I could. But the local region is gradually becoming westernized and it’s become like the West towards its men.

It’s Cuckistan.

[–]Rafique0209020 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

cuckistan

[–]TheYekke-5 points-4 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

Really? North Thailand, Cambodia, Laos- try that. Also formerly rebel held areas of Colombia

[–]fw00p4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've been to the poorest area of Thailand, rural Isan. They are trying to assimilate western culture as fast as possible. They are not simple by choice - they just lack the money to turn it into the neon-lit concrete shithole they desire. Everyone is glued to their phones and televisions and indulging in conspicuous consumption.

I went in wanting to raise kids in a simple wholesome environment. But it just isn't going to work. Where western culture can spread, it does. It's addictive, and the peasants idolise wealth to the point of cargo cultism. 100% AWALT.

If you let women raise your kids, they will program them to serve women.

If you send your children to public school, they will program them to serve women (and consumerism).

The women will demand marriage and dowry (sin sod) if you want children, and they won't budge because of all the other sucker whiteys who have come through here and done so - to not get money out of the guy would be a massive loss of face. She would be viewed as 'the girl so worthless that she couldn't get any money'.

Perhaps other areas are different, but my experience here makes me think surrogacy etc is the better option.

[–]redpillburner-2 points-1 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

Or try the Mormons in Utah, they keep everything on lockdown there for the most part

[–]greeb6666 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oh god don't do this, I grew up in an area with a ton of Mormons. Divorce is common.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy Link

Explain

[–]redpillburner0 points1 point  (14 children) | Copy Link

move to utah, say your interested in mormonism and wat to join, pretend you are part of "their" community, and they will hook you up with a young bride who is taught to be meek and of service. They will also hook you up with work and a place to live until you get situated.

I know a guy who did this. He's super happy there except for the pretend and go to church part, and keeps the wife in check

[–]givemefemkarma7 points8 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Fuck that bullshit. 'He's super happy, what with having to live a Lie and all...'

Jesus fuck.

[–]redpillburner2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

'He's super happy, what with having to live a Lie and all...'

lol, happiness is relative. I know people, old schoolers, who appreciate what they have and are happy to come home to a wife, a home, and a meal. Simpler times back then.

I think this whole movement has spawned from unrealistic views of what this is all supposed to be about. At the end of the day, we are animals designed to breed, and move on. The whole "women should be such and such" is sort of an archetypal design from the nurturing aspect of the mother figure that is super imposed over what we are supposed to simply impregnate when it finally comes down to it.

Also culture is massive and has a massive influence on what this is all about. Things are different in places where Buddhism, Christianity, etc is tied into society. In the west we have a degradation and a cheapening of roots based moral/spiritual influences and so its fuck all now, let it all degrade and watch what happens, and hence we have what we have.

I like mgtow because I have always been this way, learned this way intuitively as a teen, but still get laid here and there when necessary, and I've learned to be happy and enjoy both my free time and goal achievements, as well as having "company" for whatever time that is

[–]givemefemkarma2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

This makes no sense, is not relevant to the topic and reeks of gender studies garbage. Reported.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Do I have to be white? lol cuz im hispanic with fair skin

[–]Onkel_Adolf2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So is Romney.

[–]redpillburner1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Do I have to be white? lol cuz im hispanic with fair skin

You'd be fine as long as you acclimate to their style of clothing and socializing. They are big on virtue signaling there anyway, so its win win.

Pretty much tight long sleeve button ups, skinny slacks, and loafers, with a conservative shaved face and haircut. Basically just copy their dress and behavior and you are golden

On another note, the closest thing I ever had to a Unicorn was when I dated hippy chicks who did psychedelics

[–]the_Milkweed0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Hippies are never yours, it's only your turn

[–]ManIsWalking[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I only say that because I am white. And these are my opinions on the trend of how white men are ok to hate. MGTOW is for men of all walks, and we all share the same grievances.

[–]DeusExMaximum0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Which child? What do you mean "just ashes and memories now"?

[–]TheYekke-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mine. Dead and cremated. Look at my earlier messages. Thx

[–]we_are_compromised0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

inb4 surrogate mothers can sue for child support and custody

[–]a_consent15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

God Bless you

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Beeautiful... and tragic.

[–]GemStarCN2110 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have a nephew. That's fine enough for me.

[–]Alexk2006612 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

'' you do not exist not because of fear, but because of love ''

Man that's really touched me, I can relate to that so much. Only men can be capable for such realization and love.

Even though we want kids we won't bring them just because we want some kind of a pet to fulfill our desire.

Women will shit kids out her vagina no matter what just to fulfill her selfish desire, she won't consider the environment, the financial situation, she won't think about the kids condition and I see this all the time with women.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

And their whole lives are centered around the kids and then they wonder why they cannot maintain relationships with their spouse and end up divorced or doing the major parenting work

[–]EconomistMagazine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And when the kids grow up the mothers wonder why the children resent them for doting and being a helicopter and neurotic person.

[–]Tardis130711 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm not crying. Someone's just cutting onions near by.

[–]Rollbar3598 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I am glad it ended this way. I was concerned it was written by a man who wished to keep a child but the woman aborted anyways. That could be agony for a man who really wanted a child. Your ending is better.

[–]madethewrongmistake5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don’t I know it. Not a day goes by....

[–]UndeadTed7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I haz sad

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

dude this is the saddest thing ive ever read in this subreddit

just make a shit load of money and then use in vitro fertilization and a technology womb or whatever they will call them. You can also use Crispr to make you have Serena Williams as a baby.

[–]Randallsixx139 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My God. What a decent man you are. I get this, I really do. Someone with such a conscience is always welcome at my table.

[–]happyhumblehermit6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You do not exist, not because of fear, but because of love. For I love you too much to willingly put you in harm's way.

God damn that actually made me tear up because that is my reasoning as well. I know I would be a great father but it would be irresponsible to create life when shit is about to hit the fan.

[–]2QuietDude6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Pretty much

[–]hiandlois7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Why is it in US society if you're not in abject poverty homeless on the streets or old and penniless, but single and in your 30s and being self sustaining and not in any form of welfare, you're seen as a loser. People often ask me "how old are you" and "you're grown ass man" or "you need a guide on being a man and obtain $20,000 in savings (this was told to me by a stripper who is also a single mother with a infant that has clairvoyance abilities that message me with my dead grandmother)." Most of time the people telling me these things are people with a bunch of kids, are in debt, paying a ton of bills, living off their wife high paying job but for some reason you're a loser because you were supposed to be on some economic ladder by 28. If I didn't had any money, people would at least ignore me or give me $2 and tell me to take care. If I was a convict or Ex-convict I would be seen as just another victim of the system or a guilty scum to ignored by society. But being a single middle age guy that lives alone and also likes to drink alone. You're labeled as a man-child or some kind misfit.

[–]mathtech6 points7 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I was with you until you played the victimized race card BS.

[–]Tiredofnormies8 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

How is saying the truth called victimized bs? He is actualy concerned for the future of his child and doesn't want him to suffer the same way he did. He isn't asking for affirmative action or reparations or goverment to pay him extra he just wants his son to be treated eaually. I wish my dad had thought the same way he did he condemned me to a life of misery I can relate to this post so much as I refuse to do the same mistake my father made. I am not white but still my reasons are quite similar.

[–]mathtech0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

There is no race/ethnicity on this Earth that is not discriminated against. There will always be people who hate you for the way you look, this is nothing new. Imagine being this imaginary son, and your dad doesn't want you born because a few people will hate you because of your skin and eye color. I don't know about you but that would be a pathetic excuse for missing out on life.

I suspect this victimized race narrative is the result of allowing twitter to be your news source. If you can't make it in life don't blame your race. Your race is one of the least relevant factors to living a successful life.

[–]Tiredofnormies0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

At what part is it mentioned that the guy failed at life? Everyone is discriminated against is true but the level of discrimination is different like you can be white person in asia and people will look at you funny but if you go to africa as a white person you will get shot (do not even argue I have personal experience of this level of racism ) It is called learning from experience. The guy has gone through life and knows how bad it is to be a guy in this day and age not only do other woman not care about you, the govt. Or even other men would shit on you and tell you to man up. I think you are extremely stupid to even suggest someone to reproduce ,this world has failed miserably and it is a natural response to not force an innocent being to a lifetime of misery just for being born.

[–]mathtech1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I did not suggest he should reproduce since i agree he should not have children. I said imagine being told you will not be born because some people in life will hate you.

It was a weak reason and the race card is played way too much by people for all their problems this day and age. The race problem is mostly propagated and exaggerated by social media. I doubt OP has experienced any racism towards him and just goes by what he sees on the internet.

[–]Tiredofnormies0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

All you have said is if and so. All your points are guesses. You aren't in his position to judge and should not jube like oh it must be and call someone out just because you assume something. He could have faced extreme racism (which he probably has since he doesn't want someone else to face the same) and you just called him out just because you think so.

[–]mathtech-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Your points are guesses too, except mine are more probable.

"He could have faced extreme racism" In this day and age I find that unlikely(especially if he is part of the majority race of his country). None of the things you are talking about are life shattering, they are life experiences not all will be good, but you move on from it.

[–]Tiredofnormies0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No mine are not guesses considering the guy clearly stated he had troubles himself. The fact that you think being part of majority saves you from racism makes me believe you are far too ignorant to have a decent conversation with and telling someone to just move on is not your place to say. I can tell all the rape victims to just move on would you be okay with it? And don't say I am comparing apples to oranges cause everyone handles things differently for some people getting called fat is a fun little banter while for some it is suicde fuel so please get your ignorance outta here.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

See if you can adopt someone destined for abortion. That way, you can provide the opportunity to live a full and healthy life to someone who would have otherwise had it taken away.

In about a decade, that’s what I intend to do.

[–]lelease4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is the first thing I've ever saved on Reddit. Well written.

[–]sec-1x6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think a lot about this. I really do want to be a dad but it feels like the world is against you when, as a single man dating, you actually start to select for women who would make good mothers. Once you start doing that with modern women, there's basically none left to choose from.

I'm still weighing my options. I think best case scenario is I marry a homeschooled Christian woman who wants to be a SAHM. I think surrogacy + nanny/daycare wouldn't be fair to the kid. Kids need a mom imo.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Damn, shed a tear reading this. Would've liked to have a son (PLANNED, of course), but am in the exact same situation as you. The world has definitely changed :(.

[–]DEPRESSION_IS_COOL4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Please research antinatalism before deciding to breed. r/antinatalism is a good start

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This made me sad

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Idk if finals are the reason im sensitive af but shit, op... I knew I could feel such feel but not to this specific feeling point. I feel like just ending it.

[–]Gmiou2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

That was extremely emotional man. I swear im crying while i write this.... I have a son like this 9yo now. Most of the time i was there for him and felt what you described, was wonderful. But now he's taken away from me for ever probably, I talk to him over the phone but the first thing he first asked me was... Daddy why you bailed on me? I explained him what happened but still......... ​... many times now he says i love you daddy i miss you,,,, and i have to find an excuse to hang up cause i don't wanna hear him me crying!! I had to flee the country cause of ex... Im all alone now with nothing, but i don't care, all i think 24 hours is him, he was my motivation to do all these things in this awful world! I never loved anyone, even myself more than him....... Now im lost, lost in a place that i don't think i can return easy! In my mind its always,.... i have no reason to live to work to try to do anything anymore.... I've lost everything but i don't care, losing my son its unbearable. Still.... Im trying to stand on my feet for him, just the thought of my son.. that its not good for him if i leave this fucked up world, maybe i can be there for him in the future if i get the chance! All this is tormenting me! I have no clue what im doing or what i will do! Sad and wrong to say, i shouldn't... but few times i though would be all better if i didn't have a child. My friend you're in a better world trust me..... i know how you feel but look at me, thats something i wouldn't wish to my worst enemy, if i had one...... My enemy now its myself, couse I've let all this happen!!

[–]ManIsWalking[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It is not the first time I have heard a story like yours. Part of what prompted me to write this piece was seeing the men around me in such pain when their sons are taken from them. Men go to war, work in disastrous fields, and pay with a pound of flesh for our children. What is a greater sign of love?

Maintain your relationship with your son, do whatever it takes. You have 5 more years, while long and grueling, before your son is old enough to make his own decisions. In my country children at 16 may decide their visitations and whom they live with. There is still room for hope.

[–]Dertotenkraut3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It seems to be raining here, my face is wet for some reason.

[–]quietchaos2152 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Damn bro, you got me chopping onions over here.

[–]Super_Shitlord_2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's quite a heavy thing to bare knowing I've bought a child into this awful world. All I can do now is make sure he's raised well and informed of all the lies that society will feed him.

[–]Gmiou2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Now basically i feel like you. I speak to him over the phone a few minutes, but........??? All what you said im passing now, with a son that exists, so so so painful.... only difference is he has green eyes not blue!

[–]ManIsWalking[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Green eyes are the rarest of all. In my country, children who are 16 can decide which parent they want to live with. I hope your wait isn't long and that your son makes the right choice.

[–]Nezborn022 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

cried a little

[–]frankmarlowe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You smell that? Smells like tradcuck in here.

[–]Sdude2162 points3 points  (23 children) | Copy Link

Maybe you should try talking to a female who you don't have to pay to talk to. Usually helps when trying to produce a child with them.

[–]SorryAssCuck2 points3 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Get lost, phaggot.

[–]SkullPenny1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You could do what this man did and have children through surrogacy.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ecclesiastes 4:3 - "But better than both is the one who has never been born, who has not seen the evil that is done under the sun."

Job 3:16 - "Why wasn't I buried like a stillborn child, like a baby who never lives to see the light?"

Matthew 26:24 - "For the Son of Man must die, as the Scriptures declared long ago. But how terrible it will be for the one who betrays him. It would be far better for that man if he had never been born!"

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

You make good points. I thought to myself many times, if I ever have kids, I hope I don't have a son. This world is not looking good for men in the long run if things keep going the way they are.

One thing I don't agree on though, being white with blue eyes is not going to cause problems for any kid born with those features.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This new generation could be called Gen. Unknown or Gen. Doomed. Most kids will never have a male role in their lives.

[–]ManIsWalking[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The lost generation

[–]saintgrits1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What would you do if you had a daughter?

[–]ManIsWalking[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I suppose having a daughter would be that much more difficult. Knowing myself, she'd be the one to actually break me. I'd do what I could to raise her like a proper woman, teach her that her body is her own and to save herself for the best man she could find... admittedly I am unprepared for a daughter.

[–]washingtonpanther0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm actually debating having a painting made of the children I wanted to have with the woman I wanted to be with, so we're roughly on the same wavelength. Well written.

[–]iomega120 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Why don't you adopt?

[–]MaestroLogical3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Unless you have a high social status in the area (judges, DA's, news anchors) or have literal millions in the bank, most adoption agencies won't give a single working man the time of day.

[–]CeleritySteam2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's actually the exact opposite. Adoption agencies hate hetero males and if they work with you at all it's because you're poor. A rich, independent, successful man is a massive threat because if one of those kids lands in your home and they trust you they will report the abuse they suffered and you are capable of fighting on their behalf.

Meanwhile poor, weak, dependent single moms use it as additional welfare and will be good little state puppets even if it is not in the child's best interests.

[–]iomega120 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Is this anecdotal, or do you have factual evidence of this claim?

[–]Keyboard_Warrior8050 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wholesome

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Beautiful, maybe things will change soon.

[–]ColmM360 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]fraisersradioshow0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hail victory!!!!!!

[–]Godhelpus19900 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What a load of sentimental bullshit.

[–]CornOnTheColby0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is the single most cringe inducing thing I’ve ever read

[–]lauris6520 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You reminded me about 'Letters to his son' by Philip Stanhope. Great read. Highly recommend.

[–]Marius29290 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

go to eastern europe or any low developed country and live on the rich side and you will get someonne like that and in eastern europe feminism it's DEAD

[–]sandrocasagrande-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great pohem but to be honest not giving birth because "i can he will suffer" is an dumb idiotic exscuse

[–]L8dykilla117-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I hope no one hurts you again

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Good story. I recommend jerking off really quick. After you nut you might see that your feelings toward having a kid have changed :)

[–]ManIsWalking[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lol thanks for the advice. But my emotions on the subject go beyond a need for physical release. Children are the true reason why men do the things we do, make the sacrifices we face. But to have a child in modern times is to ask them to make sacrifices for you, that is something I could not allow for my own.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh I absolutely agree with you and trust me when I nut I look at my secretion and I do see a strong leader weather its a boy or a girl because if I would have kids I AM raising them but again it's usually after a nut so at that point I'm like "I just saved myself 500k and now I retire early" all honest joke aside I really do see your point and even men are mgtow or are just strong guys it will still be a challenge raising a kid in todays day and age.

Sucks. We MIGHT have it worse than those who died in the holocaust.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Also consider that the world is about 4000% overpopulated. More people isn't going to help.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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