Update: My (28f) boyfriend (29M) won’t discuss marriage

📷Updates

My original post didn’t get much traction, but wanted to give an update nonetheless.

original post

I asked him directly if he wanted to marry me, he said he didn’t know. It was different than previous answers and felt like a slap in the face; I asked him to leave the next day. He was extremely upset, I’ve actually never seen him so emotional. He told me he understood, but he loved me, I was his favorite person in the world, and he didn’t want to lose me.

He’s been staying at his sister’s for the past week. We talked last night, and he reiterated that he loved me, but was scared of marriage, scared of getting older, and scared of divorce. We talked through a lot of what he was feeling, and it sounds like it’s largely a fear of settling down and being old. His thirtieth is Saturday, so I know that’s playing into it.

I’m just sad and honestly, a little angry. Last night’s conversation felt like an hour of me talking about his feelings and counseling him and convincing him that marriage can be a positive thing. He also told me he made plans to travel to Montana next week, which hurt and I can’t explain why. I’m just sad. And I don’t understand why you would throw away an otherwise good relationship where you already live together because you’re scared of the formal commitment. I don’t get it.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for here. Last night’s talk made me feel like I have to do the work of convincing him. I feel like I don’t matter. I don’t know what to do or how to feel and I guess I just need some perspective.

TL;DR: Separated from my boyfriend because he didn’t know if he wanted to get married, feel like I’m still doing the work to save the relationship and am not sure what to do

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https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/avck4j/update_my_28f_boyfriend_29m_wont_discuss_marriage/