Good Evening Gentlemen, first time poster, and first time lurker. I have only just recently viewed this sub. I have been around TRP for almost a year and a half and have never been to this part of Reddit before. But I digress..
As the title suggests, I have a few issues dealing with my boss, who is a woman. She is a few years my senior, I am 23 and she is 26. We both have degrees in Geology, however I have more experience in the current field we are employed in(exploration).
She has been my boss for approximately 6 months, as we both started at the company on exactly the same day, and traveled to site in the same vehicle. Due to the small, insular nature of the industry, I have previously met her whilst I was doing some contracting/consulting work for her previous employer. We had no contact besides the usual greetings and farewells.
Upon learning that I was also working for the same company as her(the moment we met each other at the airport), she said "oh, its you" in a snide and condescending manner. In our working relationship, she is constantly trying to belittle me, or make out like I am an idiot or incapable of doing any jobs I am tasked. I have never had this issue before. I have had several female boss's and worked in many work environments where females have outnumbered males, all without incident. One of the best managers I have ever had the pleasure of working for was a woman.
In the past 6 months since I have worked under this woman, I have tried everything to get us to "gel" and work in a harmonious and productive way. I try offering my advice, and I am shut down. Hard. She has complained about me to her boss about my attitude towards her, and how I "don't respect her". I went so far as to ask her directly, in a private setting why she is so hostile towards me. I asked if I had done something to offend her. She replied with "sometimes I think you don't respect me, maybe it's because you think you're better than me, or because i'm a woman". At this point I realized what that I was on a slippery slope. I placated her, said I do respect her and I do not think that I am better than you.
After many days of thinking, and pulling my hair out, searching for any instance in our communications that I may have done something that may have been misconstrued as me not respecting her or thinking that I am smarter than her. I realized what i did. I offered my advice and pointed out her potential mistakes.
Currently we are working together in a much more harmonious manner, she is no longer outright confrontational with me, as I have elected to not offer any sort of advice whatsoever, and when she asks me to do something I just do it. Even If I know that it is a mistake and will ultimately lead me to having to redo it. I am just so tired of the arguments and the never ending attempts at emasculating me.
Is there any way that I can deal with this? Any tips or tricks? P.S- I brought up these issues with her boss once in a performance review....he is very much aware of her...quirks. But they used to work together at her previous job and he head hunted her for this one. Plus, her boss isn't on site. So he gets all his updates, complaints and information about whats happening from her. Forgive me if his wall of text isn't very coherent, she has left for the remained of my swing and I celebrated with a few drinks.