Edit : the few answers are already TREMENDOUSLY HELPFUL

Tl dr Can't ignore my desires

Took myself to a spontaneous beach weekend, 4 hour drive from my house.

All solo.

Sleeping in hammock at night.

Trying monk mode.

I am 39 and first time happy single I guess.

Brothers, I have a question.

I am aware of the beauty of the female body and its effect on men, especially young hormone ridden men.

I was addicted to female beauty, thank God my hormones are lower now and I can distance myself better now from my desires

I sing in my head my own little melody which goes... That I want sex with you has nothing to do with you, it's solely your body.

Well, kind of, you get the idea

Here the question

How do you deal with that? On the one hand trying monk, but being aware that desires still exist?

I keep starting conversation with other men at the beach, complimenting them on nice glasses, asking for a recommendation for a restaurant, asking if they enjoy the afternoon at the beach etc

To get in touch with you my fellow brothers and avoiding the chat up, pick up bullshit that was my most recent thing...

Blue pill, red pill, mgtow... Classic

On the one hand I don't want to look... To train the new me....

and at the same time I don't want to pretend that I am not trying too hard, because when I play beach volleyball it's plain in front of me, equally when laying on the beach towel

How do you do that?

I don't want to pretend that I am not amused by them

Damn fucking tricky to express.

English not my first language