I've started imagining expiration dates on women. You can make a good estimate when a woman will hit the wall. Many, many of them are single digits. I'll see a banner such as "EXP 4 Y" across a woman's chest. That's short for she hits the wall in 4 years. The manipulative little bitch who did a number on one of my work colleagues has to have her expiration label in days. She's "EXP 301 days." And counting in reverse. Women who've already hit the wall simply have an "EXPIRED" label. Try this. It puts on exclamation point on how very little worth most women have, and how they aren't even remotely close to being worth the effort most guys put in. I think the highest I've ever seen was "EXP 15 Y," but she was something like 14. You'll go to jail for hitting that, but it does explain why so many cultures married off girls that young. They were trying to have as long an access to the fertility window as possible.

That chick you pined over and made you feel like your life was over was probably "EXP 5 Y" at most. Today she's either "EXP 1 Y" or "EXPIRED."