I'm somewhat in the midst of an existential crisis, and this will probably be a long post. Since the age of 12-13 I knew I wouldn't get married because between my parents and all my friends parents I honestly didn't know anyone who was truly happy, but had met a few bachelors who had seemingly had no cares in the world (for reference, I am currently almost 28 now). I never dated in high school or college, instead focusing on athletics and (more importantly) academics with the intention to go to medical school. When I entered medical school I really wanted to make a difference in the world.

I discovered MGTOW roughly two years ago and realized that this was a group of people that I identified with more than anyone else I knew in my life (at least outside of the internet). This came at a time when a lot of people I knew from high school or college were getting engaged or married so it really resonated with me for that reason. Moreover, I realized in a way I had independently came to similar conclusions just by observing people, and found a lot of comfort that others felt the same way I did. I can definitely say that I wasn't red pilled yet, but all the ideas were there.

The problem was that once this happened I began reading more and more about MGTOW and truly swallowed the red pill. I had just started clinical rotations around that time and that tainted everything I was doing. Peds clinic became all about single moms, and the kids were entitled brats. OB/GYN was even worse (writing any more will just invoke trauma on my end). Family medicine just combined those two and made my life hell for a month. I ultimately decided on anesthesia since you can make a lot of money and there is not a lot of patient contact or social work. In the end, I have now realized that all this work I've done is basically for single moms and will continue to be (through being in a higher tax bracket). This may sound bad, but at this point I really don't care about making a difference anymore - I just want to bank as much money as I can so I can retire as soon as possible.

The part that really sucks for me is that I will be interviewing for residencies this fall and will start next July. At that point, I will have 4 years of what is essentially indentured servitude. So I'm basically looking at 5 more years until freedom. I frequent this site quite a bit and see those of you that post pictures of Slovenia, Germany, etc because you have freedeom. If you're reading this and think I am clinically depressed, you are right - there's definitely some of that going on.

I guess my main questions are: how did all of you found meaning after becoming MGTOW? And for those of you like me (not necessarily in medicine but locked down for a good amount of time), how did you find a way to maximize your enjoyment of life?