been noticing a lot of posts here of men wondering how they are going to fill their time, noticing friends getting married/etc. I get it, it sucks. Im going on 33, I'm pretty much the last single one left. my extreme babyface/ethnic look has prevented me from finding someone, in a city that values bearded men. I'm pretty ripped/in shape and not short (5'10"), so I flat out REFUSE to date overweight women, usualy the only kind of women I Can attract. to make it wose, my city has a high proportion of attractive women. literally half the women here between 25 and 35 are attractive, and I would be MORE THAN HAPPY to date. but ive learned the past years that I'm not good enough for them. ok, to each his own, I'm not going to force it.

I was pissed. Lonely. fapipng everyday. I would go out and just be pissed at the couples I would see. my friends started getting married/moved and it just got worse. the endless rejections on line dating. the women i was not attracted too harping me (obese) and women that were I thought more on my level barely noticing me. I was on a spiral of negativity.

Then, one day, I realized something. something clicked. I Started using my rational brain for once. I think it was a beautiful picture of a peaceful tropical island I was looking at. I had an eery sense of peace that came over me, I wanted that. suddenly, all these thoughts started popping in my head:

I realized: #1 females opinion of you has nothing to do with your character as a person. this is because they only go after indicators such as looks, image, status, "coolness". it may not be what is important for a relationship for them, but it is NEEDED in order to get the chance at one. this has nothing to do with character/success/etc. #2, I was born with alot.I wasn't born in a shithole african country or the china countryside. I have it better than 90% of the population on earth. I dont have any weird diseases/deformities etc. Iwas also born reasonably intelligent (mensa member, IQ ~130-135).

then I realized: "I'm letting this ONE THING (women) inflitrate and otherwise happy life". I only have one life. Ithought of that peaceful picture again.

I was 27

now I got pissed again. but in a different way. pissed that I was letting women influence me so much. I got pissed in a way that made me take action.

immediately, I sat down I wrote things that would make me happy that were NOT women. I turned these things into high level goals related to things I valued and wanted out of life: Relationships (family/friends), Health (exercise/diet/working out), passions (traveling, any other hobbies I liked), career (self explanatory). I put what kind of career I Wanted, what kind of relationships I wanted, etc.

I was making around 50K as a temporary consultant (not bad), but otherwise unhappy with my job. I was skinny. I didnt have too many friends. Using my high level goals,I broke them down into smaller chunks. it was empowering. I Realized that I CAN ACHIEVE them. more importantly, I got a flow of positive energy from this. from within. suddenly, I didnt give a shit about women.

I wrote down the little steps I had to take each week with the mentality of "If I do these little things every week, I will reach my goals".

So I did this. for 5 years.

Fast Forward to day:

I got the job I want, the salary I want. in the company I want. it took ALOT OF WORK and effort, I had to switch around a few times. negotiate, negotiate. my salary is 125,000 a year. I also pull in 550 a month from renting my spare room/bathroom and 600 a month from a side hustle. this basically puts me around a equivalent salart of 140K.

Im extremely fit. hit all my workout goals. yesterday I did chin ups with 100 lbs strapped to me legs for 8 reps. when I was 26 I was 140 pounds and my bench was 90 lbs. im an ectomorph so this took a LONG TIME. baby steps.

I have a good network of friends. Ive worked on cultivating male friendships. often times I'll have to refuse invites because I have too much going on. Ive managed to connect more with my family overseas- something I needed to work on.

next year im planning on traveling SE asia. using credit card travel points ive accumulated the past two years, becuase one of my sub financial goals was to "game the system" and use credit cards to my advantage. Ive paid zero in interest.

I'm a foodie. this week, Im planning on checking out two awesome new restaruants in the city. they are pricey, but with my 140K salary and the fact that I have most of my debts (student loan/car) paid off (which was ANOTHER ONE OF MY GOALS i SET), its a drop in the bucket. I save around 3,500 a month (including company 401k match/pension), and have 3.5K a month to spend on travel/leaisure/whatever I want.

Life is awesome. I had to work for it.

and I couldnt of done it without womens' rejection.

yes, you heard that right. I owe my personal success and happiness to a breaking point 5 years ago, caused by constant rejection by women.

so if any of you women are reading this, thank you. thank you for being the catalyst that re-started my life.

side note*

and if you are wondering, no, being more successfull and happy with my life has not changed how women view me. I don't get hit on, I don't have women magically gravitating towards me like all the dating experts say they will when you "live life!". I'm still just as invisible as I was 5 years ago.

the thing is, I don't care. I get all my happiness/satisfication driven from within and hitting my goals, and the freedom that I have now.

I hope this helps a lot of people here